Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 757 to 956

Entry 764: Tuesday 30th October 2018

Entry 764
Tuesday 30th October 2018

I woke up still feeling furious and thinking about how angry I was with Mike. I was also p*ssed off at what I thought what a b*tchy comment made by Sci-Fi Cyn yesterday, but after chatting to Auntie Meryl, I'm now seeing things a bit differently.

In the morning I was sat on the sofa feeding Leo. Ash brought me in a cup of tea just as Mum entered the room with wet hair and wearing nothing but a towel. "That shower is amazing," said Mum, "My body is as pure and as clean as my soul." "Mum," I bluntly said, "There aren't enough showers in the world to make your soul clean and pure. You'd need to scrub yourself clean with caustic soda to even have half a chance, and will you please put some clothes on. I'm not comfortable with you walking around in just a towel." "The human body is a beautiful thing, sausage," said Mum, "You know it's funny though. Most of the men that have seen me in a towel feel more comfortable seeing me out of it." Mum gave a naughty Barbara Windsor style laugh. "Mum, will you please get dressed," I firmly said. "Well," said Mum, "If you don't feel comfortable seeing me in a towel, "What would you feel comfortable seeing me in?" "A wooden box," I bluntly said. "Ooow, I hope Leon doesn't have your wickedness," said Mum, "Actually he'll be doing well if he avoids having your flappy ears and that weird chin you've got going on." "His name's Leo, my ears aren't flappy and my chin's not weird," I said. "Don't take it out on me because you've fallen out with your boyfriend, Mike," said Mum, "PerSonally I think you're mad if you can't see that Mike's telling you the truth." "Yeah, I agree with your Mum," said Ash. "Well I hope you don't mind if I ignore what you two have got to say. You both worked at ACROBAT and you were both friends with Tara." "I wasn't friends with her," Mum said firmly, "I never liked the stuck-up cow. I'm just glad that she got you all to us." "Yeah well it wasn't exactly a walk in the park," I said, "Anyway, you lot can think what you want. As far as I'm concerned Mike's responsible for my Son's death. Me and Mike are done."

A few hours later I calmed down and went to go see Auntie Meryl. I couldn't hold it off any longer. She's living with Trudy and Primark a few streets away. It's nice that we're all still close to each other, however I've been told that Roz and Richard are living in Newport which is in the centre of the Island, Mia's living on her own (which is weird!) in Ryde, which is in the north east of the Island and Naomi, Seth and Sophie are living near the beach in Sandown which is on the far east of the Island. It's nice that some of us are close by, but why aren't we all together? Anyway, I went to see Auntie Meryl and whilst I was looking forward to seeing her, I was still feeling angry after my confrontation with Mike, yesterday.

I knocked on Auntie Meryl's door and waited a few moments. Nothing. I knocked again and waited. Nothing, I knocked again, this time louder and the door was immediately opened by Auntie Meryl who stood there was a frustrated look on her face; presumably because of me knocking so hard on the door. Auntie Meryl's face changed slightly – as if she was glad to see me. I gave her a warm smile and greeted her. "Hi Auntie Meryl," I said, "It's good to see you." I wrapped my arms around her, gave her a big hug and kissed her on the cheek. I took a step a step back and smiled at her. She then picked up an umbrella and started repeatedly hitting me around the head with it as she berated me for waiting so long to come and see her. "And where the bl**dy hell do you think you've been?" she snapped at me, "Leaving an old woman here on her own with a crying toddler who looks like Chucky and his rough mother who looks like she's going to do me over and nick my pension book every time I look at her." "Ouch!" I cried, "Auntie Meryl, please stopping hitting me, "I've been in the freezer!" Auntie Meryl stopped her assault and looked at me with outrage. "You what!?" she snapped, "I've been sat in here with a woman who's got a face from PriSoner Cell Block H and you've been in the deep freeze looking for food!?" Auntie Meryl continued her umbrella themed related assault but this time with more vigour. "Stop it! Stop it!" I loudly said, "Auntie Meryl, please. Let me just explain everything." She lowered the umbrella and adopted a disappointed look. "Are you going to invite me in?" I asked. "Well I thought you were going to knock the door off its hinges the way you were banging like a bailiff with a bone."