Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 757 to 956

Entry 903: Monday 18th March 2019

Entry 903
Monday 18th March 2019

It's been a bit of a quiet day, which after all the recent drama that's been going on, has been quite nice.

Mike has been fawning all over me trying to apologise and make up for what he did. "Let's go for a picnic on the beach," said Mike. "The last time we were on the beach Antony and those kids saw you p*ssing on me remember? Let's avoid the beach." "How about I cook you a meal?" asked Mike. "The last time I was in the kitchen with you, Antony was there and it looked like you'd cum all over my face, remember?" "Oh, but I want to do something to make it up to you," said Mike. "Look, you've said sorry," I said, "I can tell that you didn't like keeping secrets from me. Just talk to me next time. Don't let Naomi talk you into doing something you know is bad. You're lucky Blade didn't chuck you into prison." "So, am I forgiven?" asked Mike. "Yes," I said, "Now, let's just forget about it." "What about Naomi?" asked Mike. "What about her?" I asked. "Are you going to forgive her?" asked Mike. "Not sure," I said, "Let's just give it a bit of time and see what happens."

In the afternoon Blade made an announcement to the whole island. Nothing major, although I was surprised at how honest he was. He said that life has returned to "normal" (whatever that is) and that the threat has been neutralised. He said that the infected man is secure beneath GRID HQ. He announced to all islanders that the infected was brought over from the mainland to be used as part of the Q&A debate in an attempt to illustrate how dangerous they are. "This was an oversight on my part," announced Blade, "I should not have authorised such an action. Whilst I would like to sincerely apologise for my part in this, and for authorising such a regrettable action, I would like to make it clear that the actions of certain civilians only made the situation even worse. Not only was the infected man released without authorisation; he was taken to Natasha Swann's house in an attempt to discredit the QCUC campaign. Those responsible have been dealt with and they are no longer part of the KISS campaign. As the leader of the campaign I am clear that the KISS campaign should, and from here on, WILL, be initiated with honesty and dignity. I hope that all islanders will come to realise that whilst the last two days have indeed been distressing, they have perhaps highlighted just how dangerous the infected are and that we should kill them, not quarantine them. The actions of Natasha Swann; the leader of the QCUC campaign have also been brought to my attention. She was fully aware that an infected was in her shed and she chose NOT to share this information. Residents were underground for two nights when it could have all been avoided if Natasha Swann had shared this information. Her lack of communication put all islanders at risk and I hope that you will bear that in mind when it comes to voting."

I was in Sails Café with Ash when Blade his announcement. "Why is he being so honest?" I asked. "Well, if he doesn't tell everyone the truth, Natasha will won't she?" said Ash, "She's going to love milking this during the Q&A debate. Anyway, I think Blade's played a blinder there." "How do you mean?" I asked. "Well, he's just made it sound like he's got some standards and that Natasha hasn't," said Ash, "He's just made Natasha look like a right tw*t. She's not going to be happy. This Q&A debate is going to be really interesting." Ash asked me if I was going to speak to Naomi. I told him I didn't want to talk about it. "Hmm," he said, "Not talking to Kyle. Not talking to Naomi. Who's next?" "Well that's helpful," I bluntly said, "You make it sound like it's my fault. Kyle was the one who was a gobby little sod and Naomi was the one who caused all this sh*t."

I'm going to see Auntie Meryl tomorrow. I haven't seen her in a while and want to know what's going on with her and this b*tch Beth.

I'm also wondering what my new job is going to be. As long as it's not working on a farm with a hostile woman in a wheelchair and a sex mad farm hand who gets her t*ts out, and as long as it's not working in a supermarket with a sadistic nymphomaniac, I think I'll be happy.