Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 757 to 956

Entry 788: Friday 23rd November 2018

Entry 788
Friday 23rd November 2018

I finally got some details out of Mia today about her pregnancy and the father of her child.

Sci-Fi Cyn and I had taken Leo for a stroll on the Cowes seafront. It was nice to see her. Sci-Fi Cyn came home with me and when we both walked into the front room, we saw Mia sat on the sofa sobbing. Cyn and I looked at each other, wondering what was going on. "Mia?" I said, "What's wrong?" Mia quickly tried to compose herself and wipe away her tears. "Oh, it's nothing," said Mia, "I'm OK. I just had something in my eye." "Oh, come on," I firmly said, "You don't have something in your eye. What's going on? Is this about the baby?" Mia burst into tears and nodded. Sci-Fi Cyn and I joined her on the sofa. "Mia, please," I firmly said whilst trying to maintain a sympathetic tone, "This can't go on. You're suffering in silence. Just talk to us." "Let me handle this," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "Mia my little Kindly Kitten," said Sci-Fi, "I think you'll be a great Mother. You have nothing to worry about" "How come you call her a Kindly Kitten and I get called a Wriggly Worm?" I asked. "I haven't called you a Wriggly Worm in ages," said Sci-Fi Cyn. "Mia, I don't know what it's like to be an expectant mother waiting for a baby to arrive but I do know what it's like waiting for a limited-edition Resident Evil 21.6 inches Claire Redfield figure and I think it's fair to say that the anxiety you feel about the safe arrival of your baby is similar to the anxiety I felt waiting for the safe arrival of my limited-edition figure." "I really don't think the two situations are comparable?!" I said. "Well in that case let me tell you about my muff," said Sc-Fi Cyn. "I beg your pardon?" I said. "My muff," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "I don't talk about her much but I do miss her. I just look down at my lap sometimes and think, God, I miss my muff." "You've lost your muff?" asked a confused sounding Mia. "Yes," said a sad sounding Sci-Fi Cyn, "I am muff-less. I used to look down at my muff and think how much I love the big hairy thing." "Are you talking about your hairy f*nny!?" I loudly exclaimed. "What!?" exclaimed Sci-Fi Cyn, "No! I'm talking about my cat. I miss her so much. I loved her like a mother loves a child. She was kidnapped. Well, catnapped." "Your cat was catnapped?" I said. "Yes," I said, "When I was in my lair, I kept my muff hidden away but she was there. Then one day I woke up and my muff had gone. I don't want to talk about it." "I'd be happy to stop talking about your muff too," I said. I returned my attention to Mia. "Mia," I gently said, "Who is the father? Just tell us." A short silence followed. "Is it someone we know?" I asked. Mia shook her head. "It was just some guy," said Mia. "Some guy?" I said, "What guy?" "Some guy I met when we were all separated earlier this year," said Mia, "It was just a quick thing." "Did he force you?" asked Sci-Fi Cyn. "No," Mia firmly said, "No. Look, I don't want to talk about it." "Sorry, but we ARE talking about it," I said, "Why are you so upset? You're going to have a baby. I know it's scary but you're not on your own. Are you crying because you don't think you can cope?" "Yeah, I suppose," said Mia. "You're not on your own," I said, "I'm here. Ash is here and you've got my Mum when she shows up. I never thought I'd be able to cope with being a Dad, but now look at me. I'm not perfect but I think I'm doing OK. If I can handle being a sudden parent so can you. Maybe we need to get you to one of the Island's doctors and find out how far gone you are." "No!" Mia assertively said, "I don't think I'm ready for that." "Well you're going to have to go at some point," I said, "Are you sure this guy didn't force you?" "No," said Mia. "Did you enjoy the sex?" asked Sci-Fi Cyn, "Was it amazing or disappointing?" "I don't really remember," said Mia. "Sounds pretty disappointing," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "Where did it happen?" "Err... behind the bins somewhere," said Mia, "Look, please, I don't want to talk about it." "Mia, we've all done things we're embarrassed about," I said, "Look. I told Auntie Meryl I'd go around and see her today, but don't worry; like Arnold Schwarzenegger said in Terminator Two – I'll be back." "The Terminator," said Sci-Fi Cyn, correcting me, "He said I'll back in The Terminator, 1984, not Terminator Two, 1991." "Are you sure?" I asked. "I'm not called Sci-Fi Cyn for nothing," she said. I wanted to tell Mia that I'd told Auntie Meryl that I'd had sex with her and allowed her to think I was the father of Mia's baby, but now wasn't the right time. I just ned to keep Auntie Meryl and Mia apart for now. Mia will be OK. She just needs reassurance.

On another note Blade popped round today and told me that he hadn't forgotten about what I told him about my Mum and that he was looking into it. To be honest, I didn't feel reassured. I told him about Catherine's husband being missing, and he said he would look into that too. If Mum doesn't show up soon and Blade doesn't come up with anything, I might have to do something myself. I don't know what though. Maybe I can speak to Tania and Aliyx at the farm and get some info off them about Keith. As far as I'm concerned, he's likely to have been the last person to see her, but based on the fact that the last time I saw Tania I threw a sh*t exploding dog at her, I'm not sure she'll be too keen to help me...

On yet another note, a letter came today inviting all of the Islanders to a get together at the Cowes Conservative Club on Tuesday 26th November. There's going to be food and a bit of a disco. Bit strange to have it on a Tuesday evening but it will be nice for us all to get together. I wonder if Roz and Richard, and Seth and Naomi will come?