Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 757 to 956

Entry 797: Sunday 2nd December 2018

Entry 797
Sunday 2nd December 2018

Katie's dead!

I was sat with Leo, having a cup of tea with Mia and Ash in the living room when all of a sudden Trudy burst in through the front door. "Come in, why don't you?" Ash sarcastically said. I immediately noticed that Trudy was out of breath. "What's wrong?" I asked in a serious tone. "It's Katie," said Trudy, trying to catch her breath. "Katie Shortman?" asked Mia, "The journalist?" "No," Trudy said sarcastically, "Katie Price, the model. Of course, Katie Shortman." "What about her?" I asked. "She's dead!" exclaimed Trudy, "They've just found her body in the bins behind her flat. Everyone's there now. There's a big crowd, Blade and his GRID soldiers are there. It's like something out of TV drama." "Hang on a minute," I said, "What do you mean she's dead?" "Well you know when you're alive?" Trudy sarcastically said, "Well Katie's not. She's dead." "Dead?" I said, "You mean dead-dead?" "What do you man dead-dead?" snapped Katie, "You're either dead or you're not and she's dead. What do you want me to do? Draw you a picture? She was found by one of the bin men a few minutes ago. She's been slit across the throat and stabbed in the head." "How do you know all this?" asked Ash. "Everyone knows," exclaimed Trudy. That poor bin man must be traumatised." "I'd be traumatised if I had to work as a bin man and clean up other people's sh*." said Ash. I passed Leo to Mia and grabbed my coat. "Whoa, what are you doing?" asked Trudy. "Well I want to go see what's happening," I said. "You can't go," said Trudy, "That's why I came around here; to tell you to stay away." "What are you on about?" I snapped. "Well after everything you did to her dog and  all that drama in Keith's flat the other day, they're bound to think you killed her." "P*ss off!" I loudly said, "I haven't killed anyone. Just because we didn't get on doesn't mean I had it in for her." "Didn't get on?" exclaimed Trudy, "You stuck a mop up her dog's arse." "Hang on a minute," said Ash, "What's all this about Keith's flat?" I looked a bit guilty as I tried to think of something to say but Trudy got there before me. "Me, Luke, Mike and Katie broke into Keith's flat," said Trudy. I despairingly rolled my eyes at Trudy's thoughtlessness. "You did what!?" exclaimed Ash. "Ash, calm down," I firmly said, "I was trying to look for clues as to where Mum might be. I'm the only one who seems to care that she's gone missing." "Oh shut up, Luke!" snapped Ash, "We all care that your Mum's missing but we don't show it by going around breaking into people's flats." "He got Katie in the wardrobe on her own and it sounded like he was getting her to w*nk him off," said Trudy. "What!?" exclaimed Ash. "Ash, it wasn't like that," I said, "Trudy, shut up! Christ you're really enjoying stirring all this sh*t aren't you?" "Oi, I've come around here to help you," said Trudy, "I reckon if you go down there, you'll be arrested." "I won't be arrested," I firmly said, "Because I haven't killed anyone. "I'd go on the run if I were you," said Trudy. "I'm not going on the run," I said. "Well in that case you should expect Blade to come knocking on your door," said Trudy, "Pound to a penny he'll think you're the killer." "Well I'm not!" I loudly said, "I wanted Katie's help in trying to find my Mum. I wouldn't want her dead." "Yeah but it did look like you had it in for her dog," said Ash. "And she did write all those lies about you." said Mia. "And you did lie about shagging her..." said Trudy. "Jesus!" I exclaimed, "I hope you lot aren't on the jury. I'll be cuffed and shackled and doing time before you can say Deirdre Rachid." "Who?" asked Mia. "She was in Coronation Street," said Trudy. "I thought that was Deirdre Barlow?" said Mia. "Yeah but she married Samir didn't she?" said Trudy, "Remember? Tracy and the kidney storyline." "No, I don't remember that," said Mia, "Was that when she had the affair with Mike Baldwin?" "No, that was in the 70s," said Trudy, "She was shacked up with Samir in the 90s and then she got sent off to prison." "For being married to Samir?" asked Mia. "No, it was her ex John Lindsey that set her up," said Trudy, "He lied about being a pilot." "I wanted to be a pilot when I was kid," said Mia. "WILL YOU F*CKING SHUT UP!?" I loudly yelled, "Jesus Christ! A woman's been killed, you lot are implying I'm the prime suspect and then you start talking about storylines from Coronation Street that are twenty years old! Do you think we can get back to me?" "Luke. Relax," said Ash, "If Blade wants to talk to you, then just sit and wait and let him come here. If you've done nothing wrong you've got nothing to be guilty about." "What do you mean IF!?" I loudly exclaimed, "I HAVE done NOTHING wrong!"

We carried on talking about Katie's murder and I was left with a really uneasy feeling. "Something dodgy is going on, on this Island," I said. "Calm down Scooby Doo," said Ash, "A dead body turning up doesn't mean anything dodgy is going on." "Think about it," I exclaimed, "People start going missing, Katie starts looking into it and then the next thing you know she turns up dead." "Maybe it was an accident," said Mia. "Mia," I bluntly said "Trudy said she was slit across the throat and found in the bins behind her flat. How can you say that's an accident?" "It's tragic," said Ash, "But like I say, it doesn't mean anything dodgy is going on. Maybe it was a burglary that went wrong?" "No," said Trudy, "If a burglary goes wrong you clean the surfaces, remove any trace of finger prints and leg it. You don't kill someone and chuck 'em in the bin." "I just don't know why someone would want to kill Katie?" said Mia, "She was lovely." "I wouldn't go that far," I said, "But it's pretty obvious why she was killed. She was looking into the disappearances, wasn't she? Maybe she was getting close to something and the killer found this out and did her in?" "Oh Luke," said Ash, rolling his eyes. "Look, I'm just going to come out and say something that might shock you." I said. "You're gay?" said Trudy "Not a shock." "I think Blade is involved in all of this." I firmly said. "What do you mean involved?" asked Mia. "He hasn't taken my concerns about people going missing, seriously," I said, "I suspect he had something to do with Katie publishing hardly any details about the missing people in the paper and yesterday, I saw him coming out of Katies." "Well, why were you at Katie's?" asked Trudy. "I wanted to convince her to come with me and speak to Blade to try and get him to take our concerns seriously." "Well, why was Blade there?" asked Trudy. "He said that he had a spare key to Katie's because they lived in the same apartment building and that he was going to check on her because she hadn't turned up for a meeting," I said. "Well there we go," said Ash, "That's perfectly normal." "He's up to something!" I loudly said. "Look, Luke," said Ash, "I'm not Blade's biggest fan. In fact, I'm not a fan of a lot of people from GRID, but there is no conspiracy here. You sound like you're losing the plot." "Ash, people are going missing," I firmly said, "My Mum being one of them, and the one person who was looking into this then goes missing herself and then turns up dead with her throat slit." "I suppose it does sound a bit scary." said Mia. "Exactly," I said, "I feel like I need to do something." "You don't need to do anything," Ash, bluntly said, "If Blade wants to speak to you, he'll find you. You don't need to find him. Just sit tight."

I can't stop thinking about Katie's murder and, although tragic, it has meant that no one has found out about me projectile sh*tting on all the kids at Lanes End Primary School yesterday. Mind you, what I can say is this; for all I know, Mike, the vicar and Miss Briggs – not to mention twenty sh*t covered school children and their parents/carers could have told Blade? I suppose it's a matter of time that I get a b*llocking about that, but at least for today that mortifying occurrence hasn't been highlighted.

Blade hasn't showed up today. He's probably had his hands full dealing with Katie's murder but I'm sitting here now wondering if - when he does turn up (which he inevitably will) - is he going to have a go at me because of what happened at the school yesterday? Or because he thinks I killed Katie? I guess I'll have to wait and see. Either way, something dodgy is going on. People are going missing and now they're turning up dead....