Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 757 to 956

Entry 850: Thursday 24th January 2019

Entry 850
Thursday 24th January 2019

Bit of a quiet day.

I went to see Blade to see if there was any way I could change my name. He giggled when I told him that it turned out my real name was Elizabeth Lucy. I didn't and still don't find it funny. "Luke," said Blade with a smirk, "Or should I say, Elizabeth... Everyone calls you Luke. We all know you as Luke. I don't really know how you'd go about officially changing your name but do you really think it matters?" "Yes, I do," I snapped, "How would you like it if your real name was Shirley Marie or something like that." "Luke," said Blade, "Your name is Luke. The official Island records have you down as Luke Warm. We are still looking for Seth so I don't want to put any resources into changing someone's name." Blade didn't seem to be taking me seriously at all but I could see his point. I suppose I just need to accept that my OFFICIAL name is Elizabeth Lucy Warm, but I will make sure everyone keeps calling me Luke. TJ won't let me live this down. I never thought I'd miss being called Nanna but it's better than Elizabeth. Mum has been apologising all day and she has been trying to make it up to me, but every time she apologises, she follows it up with some sort of negative comment or awful put-down.

I've not seen much of Kyle today. He took Leo out for a walk and when he returned, I asked if he was OK and if he wanted to do something. I got one-word answers and the occasional grunts. When Kyle was upstairs with Leo, Mum and Ash told me that I needed to be firmer with him. "What do you mean?" I asked. "Well he's living in your house," said Ash, "Your house – your rules. Take a firm hand." "Ash is right," said Mum, "Put your foot down. He's your son. You're his Dad. He should do as he's told. He needs to show you some more respect. You're the adult. He's the child." "Oh I don't know," I said, "He's been through a lot," "Yeah," said Ash, "We all went through a lot when we were on our knees being held at gunpoint by Goyle and Tara, but we can't keep using that as an excuse to get away with murder, and you can't keep using the fact that he had a tough time with Tara as an excuse for him to get away with being a disrespectful brat." "I'll have a think," I said. I can see where Ash and Mum are coming from, but I have to think about how Roz will respond and I'm not totally convinced that taking such a hard approach is the right way to go about things.

Later on, I tried to have a chat with Kyle. I walked upstairs and climbed into the attic room. He wasn't there but I found a note saying 'Gone to take Leo for a walk. Don't worry I won't throw him in the sea.' I was about to leave the attic room when I noticed something under Kyle's mattress. I frowned with confusion and upon closer inspection I found a few small pieced of cylindrical wood that had all been sharped so they had very pointy ends. There was about six of them. At that moment Kyle appeared. "What you doing?" he angrily snapped. "I could ask you the same thing," I said, "What the Hell are all these?" "You shouldn't be in my room," snapped Kyle. "You knew I'd be in your room," I said, "Otherwise you wouldn't have left me this note." "Yeah but I didn't think you'd be searching my room and looking under my mattress," snapped Kyle. "Well I didn't think you'd be hiding stuff under your mattress," I said, "I mean what the hell is this? It looks like you've chopped up the mop handle." "I have," said Kyle. "What for?" I said. "Weapons," said Kyle, "They'll come in more useful than some stupid mop." "Kyle, you're not out there trying to survive on the mainland anymore," I said, "I know we are all carrying secret weapons GRID don't know about, but this is going a bit far. First, you're cradling Leo with a knife in your hand and now this. Why can't you keep stuff under your mattress like porn magazines like normal teenagers?" "Porn magazines?" said Kyle, "How old you? Ninety? People just use Porn Hub. Well, they used to. Anyway, nice to know you don't think I'm normal." "Oh Kyle, that's not what I meant," I said. "Well it's what you said," snapped Kyle, "Do you know what? Just keep searching my room. You don't like me and you really don't trust me, so just do what you want." I tried calling after Kyle but he left.

I told Mum, Ash. Richard and Roz about what I'd found under Kyle's mattress. "OK," said Ash, "This is getting weird. One minute he's holding Leo with a knife next to him and then he's got all these stakes under his mattress." "He shouldn't have steak under his mattress," said Richard, "It'll go off in no time and make a right smell." "Not meat steaks you idiot," I said, "Stakes you use to kill vampires." "Does he believe in vampires?" asked Richard. "It's for the infected," I said. "I used to have a phobia of vampires when I was a kid," said Richard, "When it was trick or treat and someone used to knock on the door dressed as Dracula, I used to have a panic attack. Mind you I used to have a panic attack when someone knocked on a door dressed as a zombie... Or a Mummy.... Or a devil... Or a witch... In fact, I used to have a panic attack if anyone knocked on the door." "Oh, will you shut up," snapped Mum, "You're the most boring and negative man I've ever met, and Luke's my son, so that's saying something." "Lynn, you wanted to shag him the other day," said Ash. "Yeah?" said Mum, "Just because someone's negative and boring doesn't mean you can't have a good time in the sack together." "Look, we all just need to get things into perspective," said Roz, "Kyle is still settling in, and he's fifteen for crying out loud. I told him to leave a note if he took Leo out and he's started doing that. If you talk to him properly, he'll listen." "Is that before or after he sharpens stakes out of the mop?" asked Ash. "That's a perfectly good mop he's ruined," said Mum. "He's just trying to keep us all safe," said Roz. "From what?" asked Ash, "There's no infected in here." "We are all carrying secret weapons, aren't we?" said Roz, "Kyle's just doing what we're all doing. OK, he might be doing it on a slightly different level to the rest of us but he's not hurting anyone. He just wants us all to be safe. It's kids like Kyle that are our future. The children of the future." "More like The Children of the Corn," said Ash, "That kid needs some discipline." "I'm sorry?" said a blunt Roz, "But what the Hell do you know about parenting?" "Well, I think I know more than an angry lesbian with a dodgy cru-cut." "That sounds like sexism and homophobia," said Roz. "Please," I said, "Can we not argue. We all need to work together for Kyle." "Well I've told you," Ash said to me, "I think he needs a firm hand." "I'll give you a firm hand," snapped Roz. "Threats of violence now eh?" said Ash. "Kyle isn't your son," said a firm Roz. "He's not yours either," said Ash. "He's as good as," said Roz, "You need to keep your nose out. Disciplining Kyle is none of your business." "He's living in my house," snapped Ash. "OUR house," said Roz, "We all live here. Remember?" "We can hardly forget, can we?" Ash, bluntly said, "Luke, you need to be a man – be a Dad and be firm." "Well I'm just glad he's not hiding anything under his mattress because he wanted to hurt himself," I said. "Oh yes," said Richard, "Remember that celebrity who kept self-harming. Reece something." "Was it Witherspoon?" asked Mum. "No, I think she used a knife to cut herself," said Richard. "Let's just give him some space," said Roz, "And if anyone needs to talk to him, I'll do it."

As much as Roz gets on my nerves, she does seem to be able to strike up a rapport with Kyle in a way that I can't. I still want to try and spend some time with him – just the two of us...