Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 757 to 956

Entry 854: Monday 28th January 2019

Entry 854
Monday 28th January 2019

What a day! I spent some lovely time with Kyle and Leo, but I also made a right tw*t of myself in Cowes! I also heard some rather distressing news from Kyle.

I woke up feeling better than I did yesterday but still with a slightly dodgy stomach. I had a cup of tea with Ash in the kitchen but I also had some eggs and I think they might have been off...

I spent a nice day with Kyle and Leo today. The three of us walked into Cowes and made our way through the town centre as we headed for the beach. I told Kyle how nice it was to spend time with him and Leo. "Roz said I should make an effort," Kyle muttered, "Suppose you are my Dad." "Yep," I said, "I'm still getting used to being a Dad and having two sons. I mean it's weird enough for both of us but living through all of sh*t that we've been through makes it even harder I suppose." "Hmm, I suppose," he said. "Maybe you could spend some time with your Nan too?" I said. "My Nan?" said Kyle, "Who's that? Oh, you mean Lynn. She's like a stranger. You've only just reunited with her after years of not talking." "Yeah well these are challenging times we're living in," I said, "And she's your Nan, just like I'm your Dad." "Yeah but she's weird," said Kyle, "She's old and acts like she's young. All she ever does it talk about sex. My other Nan, my Mum's Mum, never talked about sex." "That's because she was a shrivelled up old hag," I said, "She never liked me". "Err... She was my Nan," said Kyle. "And she was my mother-in-law," I said, "She never had a good word to say about me. I bet she colluded with your bl**y mother about not telling me all about you when you were born. I mean, are you OK with the fact that your Mum and Nan lied to you about me?" I could see that Kyle was getting p*ssed off and that I was ruining our interaction so I quickly changed the subject. "You know what?" I said, "Forget it. That's all water under the bridge. Anyway, I know Mum's a bit... Well... Let's just say she's unique, but she wants to get to know you." "Not sure I want to get to know someone who named her son Elizabeth Lucy," said Kyle. We both laughed. This was the first time that we'd both shared laughter together since he came to the island. "You know I think that's the first time I've seen you smile and heard you laugh since you got here," I said. Kyle quickly returned to his moody demeanour as if he'd been caught out. "Yeah well there's not much to laugh about is there?" said Kyle, "Mum's dead, and the only people from the zoo still alive are Roz and Richard." "Yeah but I'm here," I said, "I know we're still getting to know each other but we've made a start. I'm sorry I said all that stuff to you yesterday. I suppose I'm still figuring out how to be a Dad." "Suppose it is weird," said Kyle, "I mean one minute you're getting on with your life and the next thing, you've got two kids." "I suppose it is a bit weird," I said, "But I'm getting used to it. If Trudy can figure out how to be a parent then I'm sure I can." "God, she's such a chav," said Kyle. "I know," I said, "She makes Vicky Pollard look like Charlotte Bronte." "And then TJ," said Kyle, "He's so full of sh*t." "Thank you!" I exclaimed, "I am glad someone else can see all the b*llocks he talks." "He told me he invented Google," said Kyle, "He said that he was having beer with celebrities Ben Fogle and John Goodman and that they both came up an idea to create a search engine. He said that they used the first half of Ben Fogle's surname and the second half of John Goodman's surname and came up with a search engine called FOGMAN. He said he told them that their idea was stupid and that they should use the first half of John Goodman's surname and the second half of Ben Fogle's surname and call the search engine Google." "So, TJ told you that Google is called Google because it's named after founders John Goodman and Ben Fogle?" I said. "Yeah," said Kyle. "What a load of sh*t," I said, "What the Hell would Ben Fogle and John Goodman be doing having a beer together? And why the Hell would TJ be with them? That man just opens his mouth and sh*t falls out." Kyle and I laughed again. "You see," I said, "Maybe we can find something to laugh about." "Just feels wrong to laugh," said Kyle, "Mum died and before we had any proper chance to grieve, we all got whisked off and held at gunpoint, and then everyone got frozen in time. Well, everyone except me." "Kyle, you do believe me when I say we didn't abandon you, don't you?" I said. "Forget it, Luke," said Kyle, "Just tell me more about your mates. We've done Trudy and TJ. Who else is a nightmare?" "Well there was Troy," I said, "But you didn't know him. He was this camp gay guy, and he was always giving me b*tchy put-downs. A bit like Mum does now. He was so annoying but I suppose I still miss him." "Is he dead?" asked Kyle. I nodded. "How did he die?" asked Kyle. "It's complicated," I said. "Luke don't treat me like a kid," said Kyle, "I've been out there on my own. I can take hearing some f*cked up sh*t." "Well, Naomi shot and killed him," I said. [DAY 360] "Eh?" said Kyle, "Didn't she like him?" "Well she was sort of working for ACROBAT," I said. "You what!?" exclaimed Kyle. "It wasn't what you're thinking," I said, "Those ACROBAT f*ckers made her do it. They had her other half and her granddaughter." "God," said Kyle, "She killed one of your friends." "Yeah well we've all done stuff we're not proud of," I said, "A while back we were holed up in a supermarket and I ended up killing two people because I thought they were a threat to us. [DAY 78] Ashley and Jessica Seagrave. I ended up being on my own for a while after that." "Were they a threat?" asked Kyle. "No, I don't think they were really," I said, "But I wasn't thinking straight at the time. A few days before, two people I cared about were killed. I guess it messed my head up a bit." "Yeah, but if you thought these people were a threat at the time, you don't hang around and think," said Kyle, "You act. Sometimes it's kill, or be killed," said Kyle. "Naomi once said that to me," I said. "She's right," said Kyle, "It might be harsh but it's why people like me, you and Naomi are still alive. Who were the people who died?" "A woman called Eve and her son Robbie," I said, "I was really fond of them." "Were you like this kid's Dad?" asked Kyle. "I don't know," I said, "Maybe. I just really liked him. Great little guy... I had to shoot him in the back of the head. "F*ck..." said Kyle. "Anyway," I said, quickly changing the subject, "Let's get back to being b*tchy about people. Alex. Oh, you'd have hated Alex. He was such a snob. Turned out he was an escort. I mean he was really stuck up but there are times I think about him. I suppose I miss him. He was with us all in the clinic when this all started. He was with me when I killed my first ever infected [DAY 8]." "Is he dead too?" asked Kyle. I nodded. "How did he die?" asked Kyle. I didn't want to explain but I also didn't want to p*ss Kyle off. "OK," I said, "I'll tell you, but don't judge." "Did you kill him?" asked Kyle. "No!" I loudly exclaimed, "Mike did." [DAY 197] "He killed one of your mates?" exclaimed Kyle. "I sometimes liked Alex," I said, "But I'm not sure I'd describe him as a mate. Anyway, he only did what he did because he wanted to keep us safe." "How does that psycho killing your mate keep you safe?" "I don't know really," I said, "Look, this was ages ago now. I know you and Mike don't like each other, so let's just talk about something else. Esther! Oh God, she was so bossy. She's Leo's Mum. We couldn't stand each other so I suppose it was a bit of a shock when we ended up in bed together." "Didn't she get infected and eat one of Trudy and TJ's kids?" asked Kyle. "Yeah," I said, "Look, let's try and talk about something funny." "Mia!" exclaimed Kyle, "God, she's so thick." I lowered my head and went silent. "Oh. Soz. I didn't think," said Kyle. "Forget it," I said, "And actually she is... was... very intelligent. It's just that that mad Dad of hers did something to her when she was a kid. Yeah, it saved her life but it made her a bit... slow. That man has got a lot to answer for." "He's in the Isle of Wight Prison, isn't he?" said Kyle. "Yeah," I said, "And that's where he'll spend the rest of his life." "Why don't they just kill him?" asked Kyle, "GRID killed all of his staff so why don't they just kill him." "They think they might need him at some point," I said, "I don't know." "Tara wasn't happy when she found out that Harold had fooled her," said Kyle, "When she realised that he'd given her a fake version of the virus she hit the roof. She thought she was going to make millions." "Stupid cow," I said, "Even if she was going to get millions, what can she do with it? Currency is worth nothing now." "She said it will all be worth something one day," said Kyle. "Delusional b*tch," I said, "Do you still think about her?" "Sometimes," said Kyle, shrugging. "But I'm more bothered about spending time with my little brother now." "Sounds good," I said with a smile, "Anyway, maybe we can come for another walk tomorrow but bring Mum or Auntie Meryl? Not both of them. I don't think that would be a good idea."