sarah paulson one shots

can't lose you - cordelia goode

summary: you're afraid to fall in love with cordelia but your fear just ends up hurting the both of you

warnings: none

word count: 778

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"Y/n can you help me with a spell sweetheart?" The blonde supreme asked on her way out to the greenhouse "of course" I said as i followed her out, her black dress swaying at each step she took.

She looked amazing, even late in the evening she looked like an angel, her blonde hair glowing in the dark atmosphere and her eyes sparkling.

I couldn't get her off my mind, she was beautiful and angelic although i was quickly pulled from my thoughts when she called my name.

"Did you hear anything I said?" Cordelia asked with a chuckle as she unlocked the greenhouse "no sorry i just spaced out" I said as i played with my fingers, a nervous habit.

We walked towards the wood table that had plants, flowers, jars, and all types of potions.

She started working, putting a bunch of random ingredients into the jar.

"Can you pass me the bay leaves please?" Cordelia asked with a soft smile and i nodded as i passed it to her, her hand slipping over mine in the process while her chocolate brown eyes staring into mine for what felt like eternity.

It was no secret that i had a crush on Cordelia, all the girls knew and at this point i was pretty sure Cordelia knew too.

Her brown eyes were still locked in mine, i was so distracted by the sparkle in her eyes i didn't realize her moving closer to me until her lips were placed on mine.

My heart pounded out of my chest and without thinking i moved back. "I'm sorry i cant" I said and before i could see the upset look on her face, i ran out of the greenhouse and into my room, holding the tears back until i was cuddled up in the corner.

Tear streaming down my face, i wanted that so bad but i couldn't, our relationship would just fall apart, that's what always happened and i would be able to handle losing Cordelia.

It wasn't until an hour later i heard a knock on my door, i quickly wiped my tears although the puffy red eyes and the tear stains weren't going away.

I opened my door to an angry Madison. "What the fuck did you do to Cordi?" Madison asked with her arms crossed and eyes brows furrowed.

"What?" I asked, my voice coming off raspy due to all the crying i've been doing. "She's being a bitch to all of us and she can't hold a conversation, she runs off to go cry...you were the last one with her" Madison said and my heart tore into a million pieces, i was the one to cause this pain to Cordelia, the only person who's ever been there for me and i go and do this to her.

"Where is she?" I asked, totally ignoring everything Madison has said "her room" Madison replied and without hesitation I walked right by her and walked up to Cordelias door that was shut.

I lifted my hand up and debated with myself if i should really do this but seconds later i found myself knocking on her door.

I heard a sniffle and then a "come in" so i did, she was sitting on her bed, with her face in her hands, that is until she looked up at me, quickly wiping her tears and giving me a weak smile.

"Please don't cry" I said as i sat down on her bed right next to her as my arm brushed against hers, she didn't say a word, she just sat there there, her glassy eyes staring at the wall.

"I'm sorry" I started "It's okay you don't have-" I cut Cordelia short "No, i am in love with you but i'm scared" I added and she looked up at me, squinting her eyes out of confusion.

"They never last and i don't want to lose you" I said in a wobbly tone as my bottom lip started to tremble.

"It will last, you won't lose me" Cordelia said in low voice but loud enough for me to hear "Can i kiss you again?" I asked and she nodded as a smile crept on the side of her mouth which was quickly taken away by my lips connected with hers.

Her hands made her way behind my head, under my slightly messy hair, i could feel her warm breath against my lips as my hands made their way to her jawline.

"I do love you"