sarah paulson one shots

one step forward, three steps back - sally mckenna

summary: after sally promised to stop her drug use, she lied and went behind your back. you were ready to walk out for good until you realized that maybe she just needed you more than you thought.

warning: drug use (although not very detailed.)

word count: 918

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You quietly walked into the hotel room, expecting for Sally to be asleep this late at night. The room was pitch dark per usual albeit a light from the bathroom could be seen and you noticed that Sally's figure that you always see in bed was missing.

You suspected that she was either taking a shower or using the restroom so you set your things down on the table and walked towards the room "Sally i'm back-" you stopped in your tracks at the door way, you couldn't believe what you were seeing.

She had her drugs laid out, using them. She stared at you with wide eyes, she looked like a deer in headlights. You didn't even know where she got them, she threw it all away awhile ago, you literally watched her throw it out the window when one night, you came home and she was high as a kite. It was the eight night that you came back and she was like that; you were tired of it. So, she made you a promise that it would never happen again.

The room spun for a moment. The silence was so loud that you began to hear a loud ringing sound in your hears. She promised you she would stop, she promised you time after time and you believed her every single time.

"Sally" you said breathlessly, your eyes filling with tears. Her mouth just opened and closed over and over again, unable to find something to say, to think of an excuse to get her out of this. "What the fuck Sally" you raised your voice, your bottom lip trembling.

"It's not what it looks like" the blonde walked towards you, going for your hand to grab it, kiss it, and make everything okay. But you pulled away, you backed away from your lover. "Y/n, please" she was already bawling at this point, her abandoned issues not helping the situation.

"How many times Sally? How many? You told me you would stop so many times and i really thought that this time you weren't lying!" she flinched, cringed as you screamed in her face. You didn't know who you were turning into right now. You would never raise a voice at Sally, always gentle with her knowing how sensitive the woman was.

"I'm sorry y/n" she bawled. Sorry was all she could say but sorry just wasn't enough. "Why do you keep doing this?" she stood there, looking at you dead in the eyes. She loved you and knew you were serious when you said that you've had enough of this so why does she keep doing it?

When she didn't answer, you decided that enough was enough, you grabbed your coat and began to walked out, ignoring her sobs and screams as much as it hurt. You were tired of wiping the slate clean for her so now it was time that you walk away and leave the slate and her behind.

The further you walked it felt as if your world was turning grey, as if a part of you was back there still holding Sally. "Y/n!" She screamed but you kept walking, almost reaching for the door handle "Please y/n, i tried so hard. I tried so hard for you. I need you to help me" you stopped completely at her cry's, her pleads. Your heart never felt the way it did right now, it hurt, it felt like a million little knives were inside your chest just stabbing at your heart over and over again.

"I can't do this without you" she muttered, almost like she was saying it to herself, reminding herself what she did, what she was losing.

You didn't move, neither did she or you didn't think she did until you felt a hand on your shoulder. You jumped, turning back around to face her. "I wanted to stop for you, for both of us but i couldn't fight the voice in my head. Please forgive me baby."

You bit your lip to hold back the tears that were threatening at your eyes. You didn't know what to do, if you could trust Sally again but her story and her big brown eyes that was oozing with sadness was telling you to stay, give her a second chance.

"I should've been there for you" your grabbed both of her hands in your, running your thumb over the tops "shit Sally, i should've been there for you, this is all my fault."

"No don't y/n, don't fucking say that. It's not your fault" you looked into her eyes before leading her towards the bed you both shared. You sat down, sitting the blonde woman right beside you. "I love you so much Sally" you gently pulled her body to rest against yours "and i'm going to be there for you every step of the way, like i should've."

You went to cup Sally's face, wet from tears "I love you, y/n" she said "but you promise to never leave me, right?" you hesitated for a moment before realizing that you really wanted to be in this relationship with her, through the ups and the downs "i promise."