sarah paulson one shots

my light in the dark - billie dean howard

summary: a rainy day with billie except you're afraid of thunder so billie's does everything she can to get your mind off of it.

warning: astraphobia (fear of thunder)

word count: 1077

.   .   .

"Our picnic has been pushed off three times because of the stupid rain" you wined and dramatically fell back onto the couch after staring at the rain that you suddenly despise.

Billie walked over to your figure, sitting down by your feet. "I know, darling. I'm sorry. I would take us out to do something else but today is supposed to be the worst."

This was day four of the awful rain storm that has been occurring. And sure, the first day or two was nice considering that it hardly ever rains where you live. But, when that starts to interfere with you and Billie's picnic, then it just becomes dreadful.

You knew Billie felt bad. She was the one to plan the picnic and she was the one to get your hopes up for it. On day three of the rain storm, you both made it to the park, thinking it was over. But the rain beat you. Before you could get out of the car, the rain had -in a blink of an eye- began to pour down.

"It's okay Billie, it's not your fault. I just-" You paused mid sentence to a loud rumble. Either the house was haunted or thunder had begun. And living with Billie, both seemed possible.

Billie stood up and walked over to the window. You followed behind her like a scared child following their mother. "Looks like a thunder storm."

You never knew what sparked your pure hatred for thunder. Something about the uneasy feeling it gave you.

You felt childish for this fear, really. You remember being curled up in your bed as a child whenever a thunderstorm would occur. You would cry out for anyone who could comfort you. You seem to have never grown out of that fear.

The medium turned back to you when she had noticed that you were being non-responsive. Billie was aware of this bubbling fear. You'd be lying if you said you weren't embarrassed that she knew. Not that she would ever make fun of you -she thinks it's adorable how you curl impossibly close to her whenever thunder struck's.

You were just standing there, staring out the window. So, she casually closed the blinds, knowing that it would only make it worse.

Another thunder roared and your legs felt weak. Jelly would be more useful as legs than your own right now.

You fell right to the floor and brought your knees up to your chest, trying to make yourself as small as possible.

With your hands tightly over your ears to block out the sound and your eyes screwed shut, you couldn't hear Billie calling out to you.

"Shhh you're okay" you only flinched when she wrapped her arms around you, not moving your position to even look at her. "I don't like it, Billie. Not one bit" you cried out, hands still screwed to your ears.

She gently guided your hands down and you opened your eyes. Even dealing with you like this before, she still looked worried. Or rather upset. Seeing you so afraid made her heart shatter into a million pieces.

"It's okay, baby. We're in the house, we're safe" she said. You sniffled and slid onto her lap. "Come here sweetheart, it's alright." You nuzzled your head deep into her neck, looking for an escape of this reality until the sky cleared and everything went back to normal.

"Why don't you tell me about your day, hm? I wanna hear all about it. I miss you when i'm not home." You knew Billie was trying to distract you, which you did in fact appreciate. She had been out filming all day while you've been home relaxing -since it had been Sunday and you were off from work.

There wasn't anything interesting to tell but you would be sure to include every single detail to try and help yourself focus on something else. And Billie seem nothing less than interested; she could listen to you talk about nothing and everything, all day and night.

You both sat there for a little while longer while you did your best to tell her everything. With each thunder that roared, you jumped up with a yelp. But Billie was right there to calm you back down.

After a few minutes more, she decided on something else that would absorb your mind and distract you from the storm.

"Honey, how about we go watch a movie, hm?" she asked. You just nodded, suddenly from all the tears and the racing heart beat, you were too tired to speak.

You both got up simultaneously, that's when you noticed your extremely tight grip that you had on Billie's blouse. Your instinct was always BillieBillieBillie. She was your source of comfort and knew you better than anyone; how to calm you down, cheer you up.

She grabbed the remote and sat herself on the couch. You were to follow, gently resting yourself on top of Billie; your back against her front.

"You're so pretty" she whispered in your ear with your head rested on her chest, making your entire being melt into a puddle right there. "Billieee" you dragged out her name. She giggled at your sudden shyness, causing you to shudder at how close her mouth was to you. "No, you're pretty" you argued.

____

After playfully arguing over who was prettier and finally picking a movie, you finally felt at ease.

From the way Billie's nails were gently scratching your stomach under your shirt and her soft breaths in your ear, you eyes began to get droopy.

The power could go out at any second which Billie was aware that it would start your nerves up again. But she hoped that you would be asleep by then. And she didn't doubt that you would still be awake.

"Get some rest" she whispered. She liked having you awake to talk to, but she could risk you getting nervous again. She didn't want you to go through that again.

"I love you, Billie" you murmured, trying to fight sleep for one last second. "I love you too, baby. Always." And with that, you slowly drifted off to sleep. Safe in the arms of your lover where nothing could ever hurt you.