Never Leave Your Heart Alone

Chapter 49

Derek woke up to the sun in his eyes. He didn't get drunk last night. He stayed up thinking. Addison was right. Meredith was what he wanted. She meant more to him than anything. The thought of losing her made him sick to his stomach. So he was rebuilding. He was going to fix it. He could accept whatever she did or didn't want. If things were meant to be, they would be. He couldn't wait to get to the hospital. He couldn't wait to see her face, to look into her green eyes.

Derek didn't have surgery until ten. He knew that Meredith probably had rounds. He was hoping he would be able to request her for his procedure. That would break the ice. That would get the ball rolling. The thought of being with her again made him feel whole.

Meredith yawned whole-heartedly. She was tired. He hadn't slept well since who knows when. But she did know when. It was the last time that Derek was there. The last time he held her in his strong arms. If she closed her eyes tight enough she could still feel him. She could still feel is arms and his shallow breath as he chest rose and fell against her. She could smell his familiar scent. She slowly opened her eyes and came to the sad reality that was before her. She pushed him away, and she had no idea how she was going to bring him back.

"You look tired." Izzie said as Meredith walked in slowly. The bags below her eyes looked as if she were taking a month long trip.

"I am. I couldn't sleep." Meredith said as she ambled over to the coffee pot.

"Do you see the irony here?" Izzie said with a chuckle.

"What?" Meredith said as she stirred her coffee.

"You fight with McDreamy, and you can't sleep. But when you fight with McDreamy, we sleep like babies." Izzie said with a chuckle.

"She's right." George agreed. "I have never heard anyone scream louder than you."

"You guys are a pain." She moaned. Izzie sat a plate of bacon, eggs and toast in front of her.

"Eat!" Izzie demanded.

"I'm not hungry." Meredith said as she pushed the plate away and laid her head on the table.

"Yes you are. I have to feed you. Without Derek, you would starve. We all know you won't feed yourself." Izzie pointed out as she handed her a small glass of orange juice.

"Fine." Meredith replied as she pulled the plate towards her. She grabbed a piece of crisp bacon and took a bite. "I miss him..." She moaned softly. She was finally admitting the truth to herself as well as others.

"We know..." They said together.

"Just call him." Izzie said.

"I don't know. I said we needed space. Now I should give it to him, right? Who am I kidding? I don't want space. I want Derek. I want him so close that no one can tell that we are two people." Meredith explained.

"Tell him that." Izzie said reassuringly. "Tell her, George."

"She's right. I'm sure he is waiting for you to call. I am sure he has been moping around for the last few days." George said as he patted her on the back.

"You two were made for each other." Izzie smiled as she spoke. "When I think of you, I think of you and Derek. I can't imagine either of you with anyone else."

"Really?" Meredith asked.

"Seriously." George agreed.

"I will talk to him today." She said quickly. "Today is the day."

"Good." Izzie said with a sigh of relief. "Seriously, I can't sleep without the loud sex now. It just way too quiet!" Izzie joked. Meredith hit her with the newspaper.