Never Leave Your Heart Alone

Chapter 73

Meredith laid in bed. She had to get up. She couldn't. Not today. She could not go to work and risk seeing him. The things he said were harsh. Beyond harsh. It broke her heart. To think that he would read the book. To think that he would be angry with her. She knew why. Ian was the best lover she had. But it didn't matter. She loved Derek. Not Ian. Not Nate. Not Drew. Only Derek. And as mad as she was at the moment, she couldn't get one thing out of her head. She loved the stupid man.

There was no sleep for Derek. It was torture. But nothing compared to what he had done to Meredith. The things he had said. Not to mention, he did know her past when he met her. In fact, she was very open about it. Derek laid in his bed. This wasn't his bed. His place was next to Meredith. In her bed. In their bed. Not in a small trailer in the middle of the woods. He was harsh. He was cruel. It was the way he was feeling at the moment. He wished he hadn't said it, but he did. And he couldn't go back. He could only move forward.

Meredith pulled herself out of bed. The minute her feet hit the floor, there the nausea was. It had been her weakness. Vomiting. She was either hung over or upset when she did it. But most the time, it was both. Because with her, they seemed to go hand in hand. She quickly rushed to the bathroom and took her place on the floor. Life was cruel. And at the moment, it was at it's worst.

"Did daddy have to work early?" Anna asked as she ate her cereal.

"Um, yeah. He did." Meredith answered quickly. It wasn't a lie. Derek did have to work early today.

"Is daddy okay? He seemed sad yesterday." Anna said as she poured the milk from her spoon back into the bowl. She kept playing with it, ignoring the looks she was getting from Meredith.

"He was?" Meredith asked as she looked across the table.

"Yeah. Not in the morning. He was happy in the morning. He cooked me pancakes. It was fun. When he picked me up from school he was sad. He said he was okay, but he was lying." Anna pointed out.

"I'm sure he's fine." Meredith answered. So he had spent the day reading it. She leaned back in her chair. Would she have read it? Would it have bothered her so much. The answer was yes. And that made her feel even worse. She looked at the door, half expecting him to come in and everything to be okay. There was no one there.

"You're sad too." Anna said sympathetically.

"No. I'm happy. I just don't feel good." Meredith explained.

"Is that why you didn't go to work?" Anna asked.

"Yep. I'm going to take you to school, and pick you up too." Meredith said with a smile. She laid her hand on her rumbling stomach.

"Are you okay?" Anna asked.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Meredith said as she jumped up from the table. "Get your shoes on." She said as she ran to the bathroom. And there went her breakfast, once again.

Meredith took Anna to school and drove right home. She had to pull over several times on the way back. Her nerves were on edge. She was sick. Her stomach was flipping over and over. She sighed when she reached home. She grabbed a blanket and a trash can and laid down on the sofa. She had six hours to rest, and she was going to need them.

Derek walked through the hallways of the hospital slowly. He could barely think about anything but the pain he had caused. His surgery? To be quite honest, the patient was lucky he survived. Derek had incredible focus. He could do anything under pressure. Not this time. This time, all he could think about was her. How he had quite possible ruined his marriage, and the best thing that had ever happened to him, in one fallow swoop.

"Dr. Bailey?" Derek asked as he walked up to the nurses station.

"Dr. Shepherd." She said without looking up.