Never Leave Your Heart Alone

Chapter 78

Meredith was relieved when she woke up and went downstairs. No one else was up. It was just her in her big house. Derek didn't have surgery until one, and he was taking Anna to school. He was planning on doing something with his family before work. Meredith sat down at the kitchen table with a bowl of cereal. She smiled as she looked out into the darkness. The sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon.

"Oh hi, dear." Evelyn said as she stumbled into the kitchen.

"Oh!" Meredith said in shock. There goes my quiet morning. "You're up early." Meredith said as she took a bite of her cereal.

"So are you." Evelyn said as she grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down.

"I have pre-rounds." Meredith explained as she took her last bite and looked at her watch. She had time. She didn't have to leave for a half an hour. Part of her was considering leaving early just to escape.

"I couldn't sleep." Evelyn explained.

"Oh no. Was it the bed? Were you too hot?" Meredith said with worry.

"No, no. It was Gina. She crawled into bed with me last night." Evelyn explained as she sipped her coffee.

"Oh." Meredith said with confusion. Why the hell would she climb into bed with her mom?

"She and I have always had a special connection. And now that the baby is getting closer, she's just worried." Evelyn said as she looked out the window.

"Well is the baby okay?" Meredith asked with worry.

"Oh yes! Of course he is. She's a mom. And she's always been a worrier." Evelyn told her. "The view is magnificent."

"It is. I love it out here." Meredith agreed as she also looked at the sunrise.

"So how are you?" Evelyn asked with a sympathetic look.

"I'm fine." Meredith lied. Evelyn knew she was lying. She hadn't known Meredith long, but she knew well enough.

"Derek told me..." Evelyn trailed off.

Meredith dropped her head. How the hell could he do that? He sabotaged her. Meredith sat there nervously. She didn't want to talk about this. She didn't want to be put into this position. She barely knew Evelyn. How could she talk to her about this. She wanted to run off. She wanted to blend into the background. But no. Derek had set her up, and now she had to acknowledge the situation.

"Oh." Was all she could muster.

"I'm so sorry." Evelyn said as she watched Meredith's face drop. "It's a difficult situation."

"Yes it is." Meredith agreed. She looked down at her empty bowl of cereal.

"Just know it's not your fault." Evelyn said as she gave Meredith a hopeful smile. That was all it took. That sent her into that deep, dark place she didn't want to be. It made her vulnerable. And that was what she had worked all her life not to be.

"That's the thing. We don't know. It probably is my fault." Meredith muttered as she started to whimper. All of the pent up frustration, the grief, it came out. It was like a dam that was breaking. She was trying to hold it up. She couldn't. It crushed her right then and there.

"Oh, honey." Evelyn said as she looked across the table at Meredith who had her head in her hands. Her shoulder were rocking with sobs.

"I never wanted children. And know it's all I want and I can't- And I don't know why..." She cried. Now she was there. Completely vulnerable. She may as well be laying exposed in the middle of Central Park. Suddenly she felt a warm pair of arms wrap around her.