One Shots // K-HipHop & K-Pop

Jin: Abnormalize {part 1}

[based off the song 'abnormalize' opening theme of the anime Psycho Pass... I figured since Jin likes anime why not.... Possible triggers]

Abnormalize:

*Second person pov*

Why did the world and everything in it have to be so fake? You think everything's so normal but we're truly stuck living in an infinite reflection of a world that's all too abnormal. Loss is inevitable. Grief is inevitable. So why do we fear it so much.

You always tried to suppress your memories as much as you could for they would expose everything and shoot apart the present- they were gone. Not coming back.

But why would you care? Because you loved them.

"Jagi?" You turned to see your boyfriend, sadness shown in his eyes.

"Hi..."

"Are... Do you want to talk?" You were holding him back. You used to be so happy, open to new things... That was until you lost your family and the hate towards you started racking up. Now, everything just seems like a burden.

"No... What good would it do? I'm never going to be my old self again, stop trying."

"I'm not gonna give up, you know that. And I know that the old (Y/N) is still in there wanting to come out."

"What if she doesn't want to comeback."

"It's only been two months... And the natural grieving time period is three months. Let me help."

"I just can't."

"Yes you can. Let me love you again! It hurts to watch you push me away."

"Just leave me alone." You said monotonously, lying down on your bed.

"But-"

"Please..."

"I'll be back soon, okay? I love you."

It's your fault he's hurting (Y/N)... You hate yourself for what you're doing to him, some days are better than others- days like today are the worst.

Why did you have to survive the accident?

Everyone says it's because you have a purpose, Jin believes it's for him. He sat by your side for two weeks at the hospital, he's the only reason you tried to fight, and look what you're doing to him.

But everything just felt fake- the past, present, and the future. Like you were stuck in a dream that at any moment you'd wake up, but that secret remains.

You didn't feel like waiting around for Jin and his pity party... So you decided to go out. You hadn't visited them since the accident, you felt guilty. You grabbed the answer to your problems before you left...

There are so many things flooding your mind that you just can't share to anyone... And slowly you're losing yourself in a world where mistakes can't exist.

***

The graveyard was empty, eerie. You could feel a slight strain on your breathing... It became more difficult to even live any more.

But you had a solution. And it would end the suffering.

"Mom... Dad... Brother... I'm sorry." Your hands shook as you unscrewed the pill bottles top. This was it.

A fresh breeze blew past, stringing your hair around. Tears tugged at the corners of your eyes, was this what you wanted? You weren't fully sure. Who would care? No one.

Seokjin. He would.

But this is for him, so he can move on.

You could hear some distant, hurried, footsteps. But you blocked them out, probably someone visiting their loved one.

Squeezing your eyes shut you brought the bottle to your mouth. Goodbye-

"(Y/N)!!!! NO!!!"

One of the last things you felt were two soft hands grabbing your body. And the last thing heard; sobbing.

'But if this is where I belong, that's not enough for me.'

[part 2?]