One Shots // K-HipHop & K-Pop

Rap Monster: Suicide Watch {part 1}

[trigger warnings]

Suicide Watch:

*First person pov*

"Can you please watch over her while she's on tour with you?" My girlfriend, (Y/N)'s, mother asked me,

"Yes...?" I gave her a confused look.

"S-she's been depressed lately, like when you first met her... I'm scared please..."

"Of course Mrs. (L/N)." I said shakily. This can't be happening...

"Thank you."

That conversation constantly played in my head each time I looked at (Y/N). It was obvious. So obvious all the other guys began to catch on.

Her forced smiles, fake laugh, puffy red eyes, broken voice, long sleeves in the heat- it was all there. My angel was relapsing...

When I first met (Y/N), I was just entranced by how gorgeous she was. Her smile made me smile, her laugh was contagious. But soon I learned it was all fake because of how much she was struggling with family ordeals. Cutting, trying to take too many pills... I then made it my goal to see the real, happy (Y/N). And I fell in love more than I thought was possible.

But I can't bare for her to go through any of this again, it wasn't fair for her father to continue to do such things- I'd take her far away from it all if I could.

"Namjoon."

"Yeah Yoongi?" I looked up from the music in front of me. All the guys were standing behind him.

"We all want to know what we can do to help (Y/N)."

"We're all worried-" Jungkook continued, "she's like a sister to us all-"

Yoongi cut him off, "and last time she struggled none of us were there for her. We want to be though."

"I-it's not that simple..." I sighed sadly, "it's hard."

"Then what do you do?"

"I just show her how much I care... You can't just tell her." I stared at them all seriously, "this'll be the only time you guys can hug her as much as you want... I've noticed stuff like that helps....." Then I felt myself start to panic once I noticed no one was with her at the moment, "guys..." I said dangerously, "we can't leave her alone!" Quickly getting up I hurried to the room we had been sharing.

"We're sorry!" The guys called after me.

"Fuck..." I hissed under my breath shoving the door open...

I felt relief when (Y/N) gave me a weird look taking her attention from her book,

"Ah you're fine..."

"Of course I am..." She replied sadly.

Maybe I'm just overreacting, panicking too easily. But the constant fear of losing her is too evident and is gnawing at my constant string of thoughts throughout the day. What would I do if she ended her life? Maybe end my own? Either way it would be over whether I chose to or not.

I sat on the bed besides her, "Do you want to talk?"

"About what?" She was avoiding the conversation.

"Aren't you hot?" I said tugging at my sweatshirt she was wearing.

"N-no I'm cold, actually."

"Really?" I raised an eye brow, "I don't believe you. You've also been crying too."

"Please don't Namjoon..."

"Admit it so I can help you, let me help you."

"Once I do it becomes my reality, I-I can't." Tears shown in her eyes.

"Baby you know I'm here, just like before."

"I'm so sorry..." (Y/N) wrapped her arms around me, burying her face in the crook of my neck.

It hurt so much to see her like this, she always tried to be so strong. (Y/N) didn't like others seeing her struggles, she just thought they'd burden them and they would find her annoying. I hate the fact she forgets that there are people who love her- but just one person doing horrible things can cause someone to forget about all the light in their life.

Each day I'm forced to watch it happen and not do a damn thing... I'm done.