Break Me || Harry Potter

Chapter 36- Harry and I have a Therapy Session

Btw- this photo above is another drawing I did... This scene hasn't yet happened in the story but I wanted to put out there as a little tease of what is gonna go down in the story. Yes, saige's character is gonna get darker... Sorry not sorry. ;)

After dinner and the whole Harry extravaganza, I waited impatiently in the common room for his return. I wanted to tell him about my dream, let him know what I was just now guessing at. The rest of the Gryffindors had already retreated to the dormitories, Ron and Hermione with them. But I had a bad feeling in my chest that wouldn't go away. I was trying to convince myself that just telling Harry about my worries would get that rock in my chest to dissipate, but I wasn't very convincing.

            "C'mon Harry. You can't be taking that long..." I muttered to myself, wringing my hands in my lap. I pulled a piece of hair out of my messy bun and twisted it with my fingers, then proceeded to drum my fingers against the side of the armchair.

            It had been an hour and a half since Ron and Hermione left when I heard the portrait door swing open.

            Finally, finally.

            I jumped up from my seat by the fire and took in Harry's tired figure moping through the hole.

            "Harry! Are you okay?" I asked frantically, pulling him into a hug. Harry 's eyes were empty and gaunt. He shook his head, walking to sit down on the couch. I sat down next to him, rubbing his back. He put his hand to his face and rubbed his forehead in stress.           

            "I don't want it. I don't want it. Saige, turn back time and make it change. Please. Please." Harry muttered. I felt my heart break into a thousand mini pieces.

            "Harry, if I could I swear I would in a heartbeat." I said softly. Harry looked at me with grateful eyes, but behind that thin layer of gratitude was pure fear. "What did they say?" I asked quietly. Harry turned his annoyingly pretty green eyes to the fire.

            "They first spent half an hour bickering about what happened, then told us we had a 70% chance of dying and told us to bask in the fame and enjoy the experience." He spat out. I closed my eyes for a second, taking in his words. Hermione had said that the reason the TriWizard Tournament was cancelled was because the death toll got too high. That thought alone chilled me to the bone.

            "Hey." I said, pulling on his shoulder to get him to look at me. "You aren't going to die. I swear it. You are gonna face dangerous thinks and probably crap your pants from fear, but I will not let you die. I will not. I swear." I looked Harry in the eye and pulled his hand into mine. It wasn't romantic. It was a gesture that showed that I meant what I said. Now, after what had happened to me, we were in the same boat. We had the same debts to settle. We were both targets of Lord Voldemort. We were in this together. I wanted him to know that.

            "If anything tries to hurt you, they will have to go through me first." I said. Harry's eyes were lined with silver, but the fear in his eyes had lessened slightly. I let out a quiet breath. Harry looked at out intertwined hands and gripped mine tighter.

            "Thank you. Really." He said after a moment of silence. I gave him a weak smile and pulled him into another hug. I closed my eyes as I sensed Harry's shoulders loosen, but I could still feel the small damp spots growing on my shoulder from his tears.  I tried to ignore the horrible thoughts swarming through my brain and contemplated my earlier task of telling Harry about my dream. Suddenly, the idea seemed horrible. I didn't want to put him in any more pain than he was.

            "You should probably sleep though, Harry..." I muttered quietly as I pulled back from the hug. I looked at Harry, who just nodded. His face was red with tearstains, but he smiled shyly at me and looked into his lap. I stood up and offered my hand to him. After he grabbed it, I pulled him up and patted his ravenous hair down.

            "C'mon Potter, lets get you some sleep. You look like a zombie." I laughed, trying to ease the tension. Harry's smile grew every-so-slightly, and I knew I succeeded.

            "Walker, you should shut up." He said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. I burst into laughter.

            "That's the best you can come up with Potter? I'm insulted." I put my hands on my hips and pursing my lips. Harry rolled his eyes, again. "You should take a class on come-backs." I cackled.

            "Sure." Harry said, lightly punching me in the shoulder and following me up to the dorms. I laughed and slung my arm around him, but once we got to the top of the stairs we fell into silence. I looked at Harry, who again had fallen into an empty sort of mind. I unconsciously twirled my hair with my fingers.

            "What's on your shoulder?"

            I looked up startled. Harry's eyes were locked on my collarbone. Crap.

            "Um... Its nothing." I muttered, pulling my shirt up to cover it. I turned my head away from Harry to try and subtly pull my hair over the scar, but Harry's hand shot out and grabbed my shoulder. He lightly moved my hair out of the way and ever-so-slightly adjusted my sweater hem so he could see my collar bone. The only thing going through my mind was: crap crap crap crap. But I didn't stop him.

            "Saige?" Harry asked. I looked up. Harry's eyes were widened slightly. I could see his mind connecting the dots.

            "Yeah?" I asked shakily.

            "Saige Walker you tell me now exactly what happened at your house that night." Harry said deadly calm. I was scared of telling him. I didn't want him to do something stupid on my behalf.

            "Harry, its fin-"

            "No, it clearly isn't." Harry interrupted me. I sighed, closing my eyes and leaning my head back. Tears threatened to spill over as I tried to recount the events of the horrific night.

            "He came, that night. Killed my parents before I even heard their cries. Sam had come running up to my room and pulled me into the attic... He came up, targeted me. Said he wouldn't touch Sam if I were killed. Sam... he jumped in front of the curse. I don't know what happened, but when he tried to curse me, it rebounded or something. I died, and then came back to life. I don't really know. This came from it." I sputtered. I felt hot liquid running down my face, and I fidgeted with my hands as I talked. Harry looked horrified.

            "Why didn't you tell me? I thought he just came and killed your family but you got away." Harry said softly. I put my face in my hands.

            "I didn't want to scare anybody. I was already scared enough." I muttered. I closed my eyes again and clenched my fists, but a warm body pressed against mine. Strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me into a hug.

            "We are both gonna get through this, okay? I promise." Harry said into my ear. I wrapped shaking arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder. I nodded, but kept my thoughts to myself.

Don't make promises you can't keep Harry.

I don't know if I want to make it through this.