Break Me || Harry Potter

Chapter 90 - Nightmares pt.I

I didn't know how long I slept for after that night. I didn't know if everyone else was okay, or if they had managed to repair the house. I just knew that I wanted to wake up for gods sake.

My nightmares had been getting better since the night everything went to hell. I had been almost okay – there were nights that I could forget about my troubles instead of run in fear from them. However, my stream of good luck had ended.

My mind was a labyrinth, a foggy maze of memories. I stumbled aroud for hours, trying to find my way through the white fog. The same white fog that had put out the fiendfyre. Whatever it was, it had drained me.

Saige...

Voices called out to me in my slumber, their tones varying degrees of pain, hurt, and dispare. I scrambled around, trying to make sense of my new reality. Images swirled around like paint – their colors blending together into new hues. Faces flew around me but they were wiped away too quick to identify. I was running through a forest of fear.

I finally stumbled into a clearing – the same one where my memories had come back. I recognized the same ball of light I had thrown into the air that night. It's golden light swirled around like streamers as I walked towards it. It felt like I was shuffing through jello – everything was moving in slo-motion. The light reached out towards me, pulling me in. I walked towards it.

Saige...

This time, I could recognize the voice. When I did, I almost sobbed in despair. My mother's figure stepped out of the fog. Her hair was lightly tousled, as if tossed by a light wind. She wore a simple white shirt, its sleeves pushed back to her elbows. Her jeans were clean, not a speck of dirt on them. She seemed so surreal, so beautiful, so different than the last memory I had of her.

"Mom?" I whispered. I ran forward, feeling like I was 11 again. Like I was a child again, a child that hadn't had to suffer through the things I had. I tried to fall into her outstretched arms, but I passed right through her, dissipating her figure like smoke. I fell to my knees, tears streaming out of my eyes. "No! Come back! Please!" I screamed into the murky landscape, my voice painfully quiet and muffled. Tears blended with the colors of the dream, leaving blotches here and there. I held my head in my hands, praying for this murky nightmare to leave.

Saige...

This time, it wasn't my mother's voice, but my fathers.

"Dad?" I cried frantically, looking into the eyes that were identical to my own. My father's grey speckled brown hair was similarly tossed to my mothers – like they had been walking along a beach. I watched as the colors of the painting swirled to create coastline scenery. I reached for my father, but didn't touch him for fear of loosing him.

"My baby girl," He whispered with tears in his eyes and a smile on his face. I struggled to contain my own tears. "You've grown so strong."

"Please Dad, I can't do this anymore – please, make it stop," I pleaded, terrified of the desperation in my voice. My father smiled sadly, but I could already tell he was fading away – melting into the waves of the water. I screamed in frustration, falling yet again to my knees. Wake up. Goddamnit wake up Saige!

Saige...

"No," I whispered, keeping my head in my hands and my eyes closed as I heard my brother's voice call out to me. "NO!" My voice rose as he called out to me again.

"Aigie, please," he whispered, his voice right in front of me. I sobbed into my hands.

"Sam," My voice wobbled. "I can't do this anymore," I whispered. Hands pulled my own back and lifted my chin up, hands that were so familiar yet so strange. I stared into my brother's eyes, his kind eyes that always looked at me with love.

"You can make it – I know you can. You are so strong," He said, smiling. I lifted my hand to his, unsure that I would be able to touch him. His hair was blowing slightly in a breeze I had just noticed. I shifted my eyes to glance over my brother's shoulder at the foggy scenery that was changing yet again – into the baseball diamond that I used to play at. I looked at Sam.

"I can't," I said. Sam stood up, pulling me with him. I was still terrified of loosing him, so I just let my hands hang at my side. His face was clear in contrast to the ever-changing landscape.

Sam pulled me into a comforting hug, letting me finally wrap my arms around him. I sobbed into his chest, cherishing the warmth of his arms around me.

"Then don't," He said quietly into my hair. I looked up, startled, just to watch him start to fade away.

"No! NO! Please, stay! COME BACK!" I screamed, my voice rising with every word. But his body slipped through my grasp as he turned to smoke and faded away, his presence wiped away by the colors of the paint swirling in my mind. I ran towards where he had disappeared, my hands running through my hair as I screamed in desperation. I couldn't keep watching this. I couldn't loose them. Not again.

I don't know how long I stayed in the diamond, but I eventually started to see the colors fade to black. I stood from my spot on the home base, watching as the tattered white pad melted into a murky pool of grey stone. Darkness engulfed the diamond, plunging me into a lightless void. I wanted to cry out, but my voice was strangled in my throat.

Names started to call my name again, but I was able to pinpoint their owners. It was like my dream had taken every time somebody had said my name and spliced them into a montage. My parents teasing me, my brother tickling me. Ron, Hermione, even Harry chatting. Brooklyn, Mina, and Hayley. Even Dumbledore, as he spoke to another unknown figure. Gazzy, Sirius, Mrs. Weasley. Remus, Tonks, Mr. Weasley. Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini. Snape and Umbridge. Fred, George, and Lee Jordan. Seamus and Dean, along with Neville. It seemed that anyone I had ever spoken to was whispering my name at me. The thing that made it horrifying was the fact that it seemed they were all calling out to me. Like my name was a prayer. More voices, more whisperers.

And finally, the last person stepped out of the fog.