357.A Reason To Live

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“I know this is hard for you, John,” Sherlock said quietly, his voice shaking slightly. “But you need to calm down.”

John closed his eyes tightly, moving his fingers in the way he did to comfort himself. He closed his eyes, circling his thumb around his index finger. He looked away, trying to calm down.

Sherlock moved closer. “John.” He said calmly. John put his face in his free hand. Sherlock walked closer, cautiously. “John, drop it.”

John looked down. Sherlock walked closer. “No! Don't step closer!” John held up the gun again. “Step back!” He growled, putting the gun to his temple.

Sherlock stepped back immediately. “John!” He cried. “John, put it down!”

John cocked the gun, pressing it a bit further into his temple. Sherlock watched, horrified.

“Please.”

“Why?” John asked, rubbing his tears away. “I just wanted a flat…” John stepped back, eyes wide. He dropped his hand. “But my life… but you…” He choked up. “Give me a reason to live.”

“John, Rosamund… Mrs Hudson…” Sherlock held his hand up. “I'll give you another reason to live…” He frowned. He closed his eyes tightly. Maybe this wasn't a good idea, but he needed to get it out.

“Oh, yeah? Give it to me, Sherlock. The reason.”

Sherlock stared up at John with misty eyes. He sighed and moved closer, holding his hand out. “Because I need you, John.”

“Say it.” John stared at Sherlock.

“John, don't ma--”

“If I'm about to die, I'd like to hear it.”

Sherlock closed his eyes. “Alright.” He nodded. “I love you.”

John sighed. “Again.” He said. “Please, Sherlock, say it again.”

“John… I-- I love you…” He repeated. He heard John's gun drop, and moment later, Sherlock's hand had John's in it.

Sherlock held John's hand and pulled him closer. He wrapped his arms around John and held him. John rested his cheek against Sherlock's chest. He closed his eyes and sighed, letting Sherlock embrace him and rub his back.

A few minutes passed, and John took in a shaky breath. “I love you, too,” he whispered, hugging Sherlock tightly.

Sherlock sighed, closing his eyes. A moment later, Rosamund started crying from the other room.

John pulled away to tend to her, but Sherlock stopped him. He cupped John's cheeks and kissed his lips. They kissed for a moment, then Sherlock pulled away and went to stop Rosie from crying. John sighed and followed, feeling a better after that kiss.

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