One Chicago: Family Life Season 1

Chapter 638

Jay's POV: As me, Matt and Severide arrived at the beach, I smirked as I went to take off my shirt since it was hot out here. "Shit it's hot here." Matt then laughed as he went to take off his shirt too and nodded. "What did I tell you boys? You need to stay hydrated." Going to grab his water jug he brought along, Matt went to take a drink. Severide then went to look at him. "Okay, how exactly did you know how hot it's going to be here?" Matt just smiled. "I came here before remember? I came here whenever I had more then 48 hours off. If I had 4 days off, I was here."

I nodded when he said that. "God, the things we do for love." I then went to grab some sunscreen I brought in the bag I have for Champ. Putting some on my chest, I then went to rub my back and then sighed. "Should've asked Erin to help me with this." Matt then walked over to me. "Here, let me help." He then went to grab some and rubbed my back. Severide then stared at us. "Wow, that's creepy." Matt then turned to look at me. "I would rather not be sore if I get sunburned. Remember, you don't have toddlers who want to play with their daddy."

I then smiled when he said that, finishing with his sunscreen. Matt then went to get up and smiled. "By the way Severide, you are going to see this later but...I forgot to mention that the twins are walking." I looked at him when he said that. "Really?" Matt nodded and smiled. "And Hannah said her first word 2 weeks ago today. It was dada." Severide smirked when he said that before going to grab the football we had in the bag. "Let me guess, Gabby was not impressed?" Matt shook his head when he asked him that. "Oh, she was sad. But she has another chance."

Severide agreed with him as he looked at Matt. "Hey Matt, go long and we are going to talk about your mental health okay?" Matt nodded and agreed as he went to run away to catch the football. I smiled when he did that because I knew he was good at football. "Dang, he has a good catch." Matt then smirked at me. "And I have an even better arm." He then went to throw the football to me and I went to catch it, impressed. "Wow, that was great." Matt then smirked. "Quarterback, state champion in my senior year." I was impressed when he said that. "Wow."

I then went to throw him the ball again and just smiled at him. "So, listen...I hate to bring this up right away but you know we are going to have to talk about it eventually." Matt sighed when I said that and agreed with me. "I understand." Matt then went to throw the football to Severide. "I am just going to listen for a bit. I am still trying to get over the fact that I missed some of the signs." Severide then went to throw the ball to Matt. "Please man, don't feel guilty. I did a pretty good job at hiding it. I was trying hard to live up to the pressure that was put on me by the CFD."

I agreed with him when he said that. "Believe me man, try having to be the son-in-law of the former head of the intelligence department at the CPD. That is a lot of pressure. Oh and I still feel the pressure to be perfect for Erin. Sometimes I wonder whether I truly deserve her. She is an amazing woman but, I am here with my PTSD and holding her back." Matt shook his head when I said that. "Hey, never say that man! You are a war hero and a veteran. You have more medals than me and Severide combined. Man, don't even say that okay? You are a war hero!"

I (somewhat) agreed with him. "I still hate the fact that this is so hard on me. I just hope that my kids never have to go to war. I don't want them to have the scars I have. Believe me when I say this but...you guys do not want to have to think about the horrible pictures I have seen." Severide then turned to look at me when I said that. "Dude, from the pictures I've seen on TV...it doesn't look that bad. It's mostly from a distance that you guys work?" I sighed when he said that. "No, I was more on the front lines. I know what you are talking about."

Severide then turned to look at me. "I once had to defuse a bomb that was close to some homes. Of course, you can't just diffuse a bomb...you have to do a scan to check for booby traps. When they did the scan, they found that it went everywhere. There were multiple bombs attached to each other. One of them was right under a huge residential neighborhood. The other was right under an elementary school. Let's just say that it was so big that it could've easily killed 1,000 to 2,000 people easily. You think firefighters have it bad. Try having that that many lives in your hands."

I then took a breath when I caught the football. "Honestly, I am tired of having to live with those thoughts. It gets exhausting and is just hard to deal with after a while. It's why I got Champ. He wakes me up if I am ever having a night terror. I had one last night unfortunately and Sophia was asleep on my chest. He almost hit her and so did I with my arm flailing. It's ridiculous how crazy it can get sometimes. And believe me man...when I say that I have flashbacks, it's like I am there. It's not just thoughts...it's like a video game sometimes where I actually do the movements."

Matt looked at me when I said that and I could tell that he felt bad for me. I think he knew why I hated that. I mean, he had a daughter and young kids that could sleep on his chest. "The idea of hitting one of them while I am sleeping and having a PTSD event..." Matt just went to finish my sentence. "Is something that you shouldn't have to think about man. Trust me when I say this, I can see in your face how hard it is and I can understand because I have kids that are your kids age. The idea of me hitting Hannah or Abby while they are sleeping on my chest is horrible."

He then walked over to me and came to give me a hug. "How are you doing man?" I sighed when he asked me that. "Ask me that again on September 11, 2021."