One Chicago: Family Life Season 1

Chapter 647

Meanwhile, with the Halsteads as they relax in bed:
Jay's POV: As I sit in bed with Erin, I can't help but think about what me and Matt talked about while we were on the beach. I couldn't ignore the fact that the 20th anniversary of 9/11 was on my mind anymore and I had to deal with it better. Just holding Justin on my chest after feeding him on my bottle, I am thinking to myself when I heard Erin come upstairs with some pizza for supper. (We bought some when we recently did groceries). "You must be getting hungry after the beach Jay." Turning to look at Erin, I nodded. "Yeah, I am." 

Looking at me, Erin already knew that something was wrong,. "Okay, what's up Jay? I can already tell that your head is somewhere else." I nodded when she said that and sighed before watching as she came to join me in bed. "4 months, 25 days." Erin looked at me when I said that and sighed. "You are talking about the 20th anniversary of 9/11." I nodded and agreed with her as she sat down next to me. Grabbing some of the pizza, I just sighed. "It's getting harder to hide that I am starting to struggle more and more each day." 

Agreeing with me when I said that, Erin just looked at me. "Go put Justin in his crib okay Jay? We can eat and then we are going to cuddle okay? You need to talk to me about this and I am not going to let you get out of this." I nodded and agreed with her when she said that. Getting up, I went to go lay Justin down in his crib before smiling at him. "You take a nap okay buddy? Mommy and daddy are just going to have lunch and talk a bit." Leaning over him, I smiled as I went to kiss his forehead before turning to look at Erin.

She then smiled at me but, she could also see the pain in my eyes. "You are going to talk to me okay? Promise me that you are not going to shut me out of this okay Jay? I am here to help you." I agreed with her and nodded when she said that. Going to get in bed, I smiled as I went to wrap my arm around her again. Closing the covers, I smiled when I felt Erin cuddle up to me more. Grabbing the plate of pizza, I went to kiss her forehead before looking down at her. "I want to start my saying this...you are making it a lot easier."

Erin agreed with me and then smiled. "I expected that would be the case but Jay you have to be honest with me okay? I am here to help you. I know that right now, you are having a hard time. You told me in the past some of the anniversaries of your friends' deaths...so I know when it's going to be hard. Please Jay, talk to me and don't leave me out of this." I sighed when she said that and looked at her. "What can I say Erin? That this is easy on me...it isn't. And now with the US having just announced they are going to withdraw...it's hard."

Erin nodded and agreed with me when I said that. She could obviously see I was in pain and wanted to help me through it. "Listen, I know you don't know what to say and I accept that. But what I don't accept is the idea that you can't talk to me. Jay, I am here for you for whatever you need okay? Me and the kids are always going to be here. Please do not leave me out of this." I nodded and agreed with her when she said that. Kissing her forehead, I just sighed. "I am starting to wonder whether the sacrifices that I made was worth it."

Erin was about to say something when I continued. "It's not like anything really changed." Erin sighed when I said that because that was the truth. "Jay, just because nothing changed doesn't mean that it wasn't worth it. Remember what has happened during the war. They got the head of the Taliban...the name I promised never to say because I know it triggers PTSD for you." I nodded when she said that and agreed with her. "Thanks for doing that by the way." Erin nodded and agreed with me. "And I always will babe, I promise."

I then went to kiss her forehead and sighed. "This is just really hard on me. What if it happens again? It's a possibility no?" Erin just rubbed my chest when I said that. "You can't think that way Jay because it is not healthy. You are going to regret ever thinking like that because you are going to miss a lot of stuff. Please babe, promise me that you are not going to think that way." I nodded and agreed with her when she said that. "I need to relax don't I?" Erin nodded when I said that. "Listen, let's have supper and then we can talk okay?"

I nodded and agreed with her before going to kiss her softly. "You know that I am crazy for you right?" Erin then smiled as she gave me one last kiss before going to grab some pizza.