Be happy...

Chapter 4

It is busy in the restaurant... It has been a week since i had spoken to Chris... He had been texting and calling nonstop... It came to a point that i had typed a long text saying that it had to stop... After which i had blocked his number... It had taken me an hour forming the text... I couldn't do it on the phone because i knew hearing his voice would pull me back in... But after an hour i came up with this... It was a chaotic text and i know that he would stop texting and calling after it... He would think i am pathetic and unhinged... He would see it meant more to me than to him and that the best thing to do was to move on...

"Chris... Please stop calling... Although hearing your voice was often the high light of my day, we can't continue this... We have gone too far... We never should have done this... You are in a relationship i was being selfish... We live in completely different worlds... I should have never taken it so far... I crossed so many lines and for that i am sorry... What we did was wrong as amazing as it was... Because fuck it was... And although at the time it felt so right... it was wrong... I will always remember our talks and cherish them... But i told you to be happy... So be happy... I dont want to be the reason you are not... I dont want to be selfish and continue this for it all to blow up in our faces and ruin you... Ruin everything you worked so hard for... I will never forgive myself if that happens i will take it with me to my grave... I am going to block you after this text... Thank you for making me feel special... Even if it was just for a little while... Keep doing great things... But above all be happy you deserve it... x."

I had cried my eyes out typing it... I allowed myself to feel incredibly sorry for myself for a moment... I had hesitated to press send for a long time... But eventually did and when i saw that he had received it i had blocked him... On everything... His number... His Twitter and his Instagram... Because as much as i wanted him to be happy i dont think i could handle seeing it...

I had thrown myself into work just distract myself... I had taken on some extra shifts and just kept myself busy... I know Eve and Skyler were worried about me especially because i didn't want to tell them why i was so sad... I told them i was fine just a little tired which was true... I had barely slept... Every time i close my eyes i would see him... I could hear his voice in my head... I dreamed of waking up next to him and him pulling me in his arms telling me he couldn't let me go... That he wanted me that i was worth risking everything... That he didn't care what people would think... It always ended with him about to kiss me before i would wake up...

I sigh and put a smile on my face another restaurant guest walks in and i seat them taking their drink order... I walk to the bar and give Kim the order and she puts it on a tray for me... I bring the guests their order and then take their food order all the while a fake smile on my face...

I hear giggling and i look up and Skyler and Eve are waiting to be seated... They have the biggest smirks on their faces... I sigh and walk over... I put the fake smile on my face again and hug them both... "This is a nice surprise... What are you two doing here..." I say and Eve giggles... "We are here for a bite to eat..." Skyler says smirking and i look at her... "Okay... Do you have a reservation? We are pretty much booked..." I say and Skyler nods... "We do... Under my name..." She says and i look in the book and nod and i shift some things around so i can seat them in my area...

I dont have to ask them what they want to drink because they always drink the same when they are here... "2 Margarita's coming up..." I say and they both nod smiling at me... I ask Kim to make 2 margarita's and make the rounds between my other tables... I take the drinks to Skyler and Eve and they both smirk at me and something is off... Normally they would let me know they were coming...

My tables are all eating and i have taken Skyler and Eve's orders and now waiting for the kitchen to ring that they are ready... I sigh and look around Skyler and Eve are giggling, and they keep looking at the door... Something is really up... I wonder what but i dont have the energy to ask nor do i want to know... I can't handle their antics right now... I just want to finish my shift and go home to bed and try to get some much-needed sleep...