Be happy...

Chapter 90

"Are you sure you are going to be, okay?" I ask Chris as i am about to go to my dress fitting... He is holding Faye on his arm who is pulling on his beard. He smiles and leans into kiss me under protest of Faye who gets more vocal every day... She doesn't like it when Chris and i kiss and i am seriously bracing myself for the no faze... She is very possessive of her daddy. There are no words yet, but a lot of loud protest sounds when we do kiss. It is adorable though... 

I smirk and kiss Chris again and she flails her little arms around loudly protesting making us both laugh... "We will be fine sweetheart... We are going to have some daddy daughter time..." He says smiling and i chuckle... "Okay. Call me when you need me..." I say and he kisses me again and i chuckle as Faye starts to protest again... "Okay princess... I will leave your daddy alone..." I say kissing her little face making her giggle and squeal. 

I take my purse and keys and sigh as i walk to the front door... "Drive safe sweetheart..." He says and i smile at him and nod. I look back at them as i walk to the car and i hesitate for a second before getting in. He says he is okay. 

Last night we had a long talk... A really long talk about everything. For the first time i told him that i felt guilty... Guilty for being ready to die. Feeling guilty for that, because it would have meant leaving Faye without parents. Guilty because i felt like i had no right to cry as i had not been the one who was shot. Chris said he held onto me because he somehow knew that she wouldn't shoot me as long as i was laying over him... And that i had every right because what i had been through was just as traumatic. I was not hurt physically but mentally it had been traumatic. We talked about everything, and it was nice and therapeutic to finally let it all out. I cried so much that i was sure i was all cried out for a whole year...

I arrive at the bridal store and smile as i walk in. I was kind of excited to try on my dress again. This time i chose to go alone. I just didn't feel like taking anyone with me. I got greeted and hugged. We talked for a bit and i thanked her for her well wishes... 

"Can i ask you something?" I say and Mel nods. "Do you have dresses for babies around 10 months..." I say and she smiles... "You need a dress for your little girl?" She asks and i nod. "Yeah..." I say feeling all excited about picking out a little dress for Faye. I was adamant to get her a cute dress all on my own without anyone's opinion running through my head. "I want to go pink..." I say and Mell smiles... "I want her to stand out to. She will be the only one in pink all the guests will be in black, and Chris will either be in grey or white... And well you know what color i will wear..." I say smiling and Mel smiles. "That sounds amazing. You will stand out so much... All eyes will be on you... The esthetic will look gorgeous..." She says and it feels so nice to hear someone say they like my vision. 

We talk a bit longer about the wedding before she shows me some dresses for Faye... I pick a really cute soft pink one. She will look so cute... Then it is time to put on my dress and i feel all giddy... "I do think it is going to be a little big as i see you lost a lot of weight due to stress of the last weeks..." She says looking at me sympathetically... "So, what i suggest is to not take it in right now. But to wait until you last fitting to make sure it will fit... It easier to take it in than to let it out..." She says and i agree... I know i have lost weight due to stress. But now that we were home again i started to eat better and already gained back some of the weight... 

When i look in the mirror standing in my dress Mel brings out my shoes helping me put them on. I smile as i look in the mirror i feel like a princess. I am absolutely in love with my dress. Mel disappears and comes back with accessories. She dolls me all up... "I thought you might need this... I know picking a dress was stressful. I wanted you to have a little aaaah moment..." She says and when i look in the mirror i tear up. 

"It is absolutely perfect..." I whisper and she smiles and catches me by surprise by hugging me... "You look absolutely beautiful. Chris's eyes will pop out of his head..." She says and i giggle... "We decided to do a first look... We dont want to ugly cry in front of all of our guests..." I say and she giggles. "Smart choice..." 

She checks the measurements, and the length is perfect. The rest will be for the last fitting. When we are done i leave and i decide to do some shopping. I end up in a lingerie store and pick out some bridal underwear for under my dress. Just some panties for the formal dress and another set for under the dress i had picked out for the party. The formal dress didn't allow a bra. The neckline was a little bit to plunging to wear one. The dress for the party fitted like a glove and did not have to be altered. But nevertheless, i asked to have it at the last fitting so i could make sure it fitted. 

After picking out two sets of lingerie for our wedding day i went back home. I smile looking at the bags in the backseat. I felt giddy and was thinking of a place to put it so that Chris would not see it... 

I come home and walk in with the bags. The dress for Faye and my lingerie. I can't wait to show Chris, Faye's little dress... I quickly stash my lingerie bags in our closet hoping he won't find it. Before i walk out to the living room where Chris is sleeping on the couch with Faye on his chest. It is the most adorable thing ever and i dont think that sight will ever get old. 

"Hey baby..." I whisper kissing his forehead and he opens his eyes smiling lazily at me... "Hey sweetheart... Did it go okay?" He asks and i nod. "Here?" I mumble and he smiles and nods... "She is an angel..." He whispers and i giggle before sitting down next to him... "I did something..." I whisper and he looks at me smirking. "What did you do?" He asks curious... "I bought a little dress for Faye..." I hold up the bag, and his smile gets bigger. "Can i see?" He asks and i nod and pull out the dress. "Omg she is going to look so cute..." He whispers and kisses me... "I bought it in 3 sizes to make sure it will fit..." I say blushing and Chris laughs... 

"I can't wait to marry you sweetheart... Only 3 more months..." He whispers and i smile and lay my head on his shoulder... "Can't wait either..." I murmur and he kisses the top of my head... "And after that it is baby time..." He says in a teasing tone and i chuckle... Faye wakes up and starts to fuss... "I think someone didn't like what she heard... Because it would mean she has to share her daddy..." I smirk as Chris laughs... 

Faye starts to fuss more, and Dodger gets up from his pillow and walks over to us and puts his head on her... She immediately calms down. "Good boy..." I whisper and cuddle into Chris while patting Dodgers head. Dodger jumps on the couch and lays down on his other side and i smile... These moments are my favorite... My little family... Soon we all doze off together.