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I fucking hated it here. So goddamn much. If I wasn't loyal to my brothers, I would ask for nomad status, or just fucking bail. Leave. Get the fuck out of this goddamn town. I couldn't stand any of it. Not when everyone else was so happy. They all had their women, or were content to fuck the soul suckers on the pool table every night for the rest of their lives.
Nickhun got lucky. Tiffany came back to him. Then there was fucking me. No way Jennie was ever coming back, not anymore, not after six years. Married. I could remember it all like it happened yesterday, how it felt when my letters started going unanswered, when she stopped answering my calls the few times I was allowed to, what it felt like when I was discharged, got to go home and she was nowhere to be seen.
My world came crashing down when I found out she was married. Nothing I faced in the war would ever feel as bad as that moment. Seokmin and Jaehyun had to keep me from killing everyone in sight.
They did, but just barely.
Now I was stuck looking around the room, watching all of my brothers and their happy as fuck families. There are so many kids now. And they didn't just all belong to Mike and Marie anymore. Seokmin has two, Jaehyun has one, Ten has one, fuck even Eunwoo and Miyeon have one.
Taking in my surroundings, the yelling of small children, the laughter of the prides, my brothers talking shit, soul suckers in their booth, making eyes at the single brothers–married ones too. Not that any of them would ever cheat. Rachel would behead the offender.
What I really needed right now was to cut something, to make it bleed, or to patch someone up. Why couldn't we be at goddamn war where I'd have bullet and knife wounds to stitch up. I preferred to make things bleed, but Seokmin and Jaehyun helped me channel that energy into stopping blood, making sure my brothers didn't bleed out.
Was I fucked up enough to have a moment every time one of them was on my table where I imagined making the bleeding worse instead of patching them up? Yes.
Jaehyun and Seokmin knew. I thought Nickhun had his suspicions about my tendencies, but he never said anything. The rest of them were clueless.
The sound of a child's screaming cry had everyone on red alert. I sat in the chair, waiting to see I was needed. When I see Rachel stand, I knew it had to be Storm. I tracked her with my eyes, seeing her squat in front of him. I slid out of the booth and made my way down to the medical area–my office.
I opened the drawer where I kept my most recent supplies for the kids: bandaids with action figures, princesses, and mermaids, lollipops, and whatever else Carrie and her nursing wisdom deemed necessary. She was better with the kids than I was. It wasn't that I didn't like kids, not having any of my own just made them hard to relate to.
Jennie and I talked about having kids, lots of 'em. Now she had someone else's. Thinking about her still hurt my heart, like the ache in my chest would never go away. So fucking pathetic, six years later and still pining after the woman who broke my heart. I couldn't move on, never could. Even now the only thing I could do was let the soul suckers suck my cock, and that was only a recent development. I went five years without the touch of a woman, five long fucking years of missing Jennie, stroking my cock to thoughts of her, to the images of her left in my head, the ones that were finally starting to fade. I wondered if she still had the scar next to her right elbow from where she fell while we were running through the fields, away from the cops. She fell and scraped herself. Did the little scar finally fade? Did she see it whenever she looked in the mirror? Did it make her think of me?
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I was sitting in my chair when the door opened. I turned to see Rachel carrying Storm. He looked just like Seokmin.
