●~TWDG Oneshotz~●

violet's journal

[Everyone keeps secrets. Some tell their best friends, others will keep their mouths closed until they are 6 feet under. Not Violet though. She writes down her deepest, darkest, most personal feelings into a weather-worn notebook she found outside of the greenhouse years ago. Although the pages are stained with dirt, tears, and blood, Clementine can clearly make out every word written within the faux leathery interior of the book.]

[Trigger Warning: mentions of suicidal tendencies and/or thoughts.]

Minerva
Better known as Minnie
My girlfriend to be/was/idk
You never were the romantic type and you wanted us to be more of a secret.
I wanted to scream from the rooftops by undenying love for you.
But I know you'd hate that as much as you hate killing deadheads.
Well, all I have is the memory of you now.
Rest in peace my love
_______________________________________

Ever heard of death?
Peaceful, eternal, yeah no.
All of a sudden one day
The dead just started rising up and walking
The walking dead. Has a nice ring to it but I like Willy's idea of "deadheads" much better
It's weird seeing old friends just walk around mindlessly,
Craving at human flesh
I had to kill
I had to kill Erin
She went hunting with Louis but was bitten and mauled to death.
A few days later when me and Brody went to the stream to fish,
I saw her
Her coloured braces filled with muck and blood
The others couldn't see her like that
I took my bow and shot her right between the eyes
Louis loved Erin
Liked?
Crushed?
Whatever. I just felt bad for all of this
I'm sorry Erin
_______________________________________

Marlon getting on my ass about not sleeping
I'm an insomniac okay
Let me be awake at ungodly hours in peace okay
Shit not like I have porn to watch to help me fall asleep faster
I'd kill for some chicken nuggets
Also boobs
But if i could enjoy only one
Totally chicken nuggets
_______________________________________

Gay
Lesbian
Whatever.
Girls are cute
That's all
_______________________________________

Louis is a good friend but I swear if that boy doesn't learn a new song on that fucking piano, I'll chop it up for firewood this winter
_______________________________________

Clothing raid today didn't go so well.
Found a vest and jacket but these fucking
Tight ass pants bro
Cute but shit
I dont think these will be coming off
Like
Ever
_______________________________________

Emo is short for emotional
And i aint showing emotions
Therefore
I am not emo
Despite what EVERYONE ELSE SAYS
_______________________________________

Haven't attempted suicide in days
Broke that streak tonight
Im sorry
I'm not strong
I'm weak
Useless
Dumb
Pathetic
A waste of life
Maybe Marlon was right
Maybe I should've been the one killed by walkers and not Minnie or Sophie
_______________________________________

Camp Paya
That summer I knew
I knew these feelings were not fake
I liked girls
I liked you Minnie
And you did too
_______________________________________

Truth or dare
I always pick dare
Always.
The truth laid bitter on my tongue and admitting anything to anyone was a sign of weakness at least in my eyes
"Why not pick truth, Vi?"
Cuz the truth only leads to fighting and tempermenal issues
And tears
Mostly tears
_______________________________________

Tennessee
Oh dont ya see
What all you've done to me
All the fights
All the pain
All the loses
Because you're you
I cannot change you
And you will not learn
I love you
Little boy
But please
Dont be the death of me
_______________________________________

Your lips are like razor blades
So kiss both of my wrists
And give me eternal sleep
_______________________________________

A year after your death and I still find myself craving you back
Missing you
Missing us
Maybe...maybe I should pull the trigger
I want to see you again
And nothing here is worth living for anymore
_______________________________________

I've never driven a car
Probably never will
But the ear bleeding sound of one alerted all of us
Including the walkers
Marlon, me and Louis found 2 kids in the wreck
A little dark skinned boy and his mother (?)
She was pretty banged up and Marlon suggested that he'd carry her home
Louis took the kid
And I shot any walker looking at us as we raced back to the school before more came
Not gonna lie
She's pretty cute ♡
_______________________________________

Hasn't even been one night since the wreck and someone's dead
Marlon
As much as I hated him
He was our leader
He took care of us
Brody was killed by him
He traded Minerva and Sophie to some radiers called the Delta
AJ, the boy we saved, he shot Marlon when Clementine, his parental figure, talked him down
I was mixed emotional about it
But all I could do was stare
Stare at the lifeless body of Marlon's
The group doesn't trust them
But I do
And I'll fight for her to stay
_______________________________________

We had a vote, 5 votes for them to leave, 3 for them to stay.
I was heartbroken and enraged but I had no choice
Me and Louis escourted them to the safe zone when the 2 raiders Marlon sold Minerva and Sophie to, ambushed Clem and AJ
Clementine told us to run, get far away
And we did
We ran as fast as we could
I heard gunshots fire off but I couldn't look back
I just ran
_______________________________________

She came back
She and AJ came back
He was shot in the stomach, poor kiddo
Ruby helped treat him with her magical medical powers
It wasn't safe for them so we allowed them to stay
Louis offered her a night playing his piano but she went with me to the belltower
I was curious
Why was she still her?
Why did she care about us?
Why did she choose me over Louis?

"Why would I go anywhere else if you're here?"
I blushed at her words
And then
She kissed me
And as a gay disaster all I could do was be amazed
Starstrucked
_______________________________________

The raiders attacked us
They took Omar, Aasim and Louis....
In a split second decision, she chose to shoot my kidnapper and rescue me
I wonder why
_______________________________________

"Stars?"

"So you'll never forget that night."

"I never will."

GOD I LOVE HER
_______________________________________

Today's the day we raid the boat
I hope things go well
_______________________________________

The pages end without much else written. Clementine sat the journal back into Violet's drawer, wiping away the tears in her eyes.

"I miss you, Vi," Clementine whispered. "I'll never forget that night." She grabbed her stary pin attatched to her jacket, longing for the blonde to reappear, that this was all some horrific nightmare. But alas, not all stories have happy endings. Sometimes love doesn't always win in the end.