●~TWDG Oneshotz~●

mariposa

[Spanish for butterfly; Violet gets shit faced drunk and Louis has to come save her...from herself.]

***[Suicide Trigger Warning!!!!]***

Sky's beating on me
Why'd you leave me lonely?

The glasses clinked as I gulped whiskey and vodka a bit too quickly. One after another, until the glasses ran dry. My tongue, unable to differenciate between the liqors. My throat, burning from 90 proof beverages. My head banging and my vision is swirled by the colours of night and the illuminated lights of downtown. I felt a cool breeze down my back, I realized I left my hoodie at the bar.

"Fuck," I groaned as I leaded against a streetlight post. Night dragging on like a cliffhanger from last week's episode of a telanovela. I stumbled in my path as my feet walked against my will.

"VIOLET," Louis yelled. I ignored his voice, continuing walking towards the beach. Our spot....

I'll keep running
Just to find
A way
To you
Till then

"She's dead, Vi," Louis huffed out of breath as I sat by the shore, covering my legs in sand, trying to find some warmth to remind me of you.
"Clem's gone, why can't you let it go?"

"She was my everything, Louis. Someone who saw me at my worst and didn't run off. Someone who made me feel something...anything...now I feel nothing and I've been feeling nothing for a fucking year, goddammit!!!" I threw an empty bottle at his feet, the glass shattering on impact.
"I HAVEN'T FELT ANYTHING SINCE CLEM KILLED HERSELF AND IT'S MY FUCKING FAULT OKAY!!!" Only the calmed sounds of the waves echoed in the empty space of sound between my ears. Louis brushed the glass away from his feet as he unfolded a note in his pocket.

"Dear Violet, if Louis is reading this to you, congrats, I'm dead. But I think you know that by now. While I did cheerish every day, every moment with you as my wife, I cannot continue on being alive. It is with a heavy heart telling you I'm choosing to end my life as the chemo has failed. I can't bear the thought of waking up another day. Another round of useless treatments. Another day of fake smiling....
The only thing that made it worth living was you but I couldn't live on seeing how badly I hurted you with my uncurable conditions. I'm sorry you'll lose me in the morning. I'm sorry if my body was never found. I apologize, my dearest flower. My love for you will always be eternal.
Sincerly with a heavy, broken heart,
Clementine ♡"

"She...she killed herself...to help me?," I rubbed my earstained cheeks.
"She killed herself so I didn't have to suffer....from watching her suffer...."
"Fuck..Clem..." I took a deep breath to ponder my thoughts.

"We never did find her body," Louis finally spoke, almost too quite for me to hear.
"Probably for the best."

"She was so fraile and weak the last day I saw her....to think she somehow had enough strength to bite the bullet and...." I stopped talking and looked at Louis.
"You asked why I can't let her go. She was the only person in the world to make me feel anything," I dug my hands into the warm sand.
"..anything other than," my fingertips grazed an abbandoned glass shard.
"...the painfulness of being....so....FUCKING NUMB!!!" I took the shard, my only intention was slitting my skin open. Unfortunately, Louis stopped me.

"I get it, but...self destruction's not the solution. Neither is drinking your life away."

I'll keep running just find a way to you 'til then....

"I miss her....alot....," I finally spoke up.
"She was my only. She was my forever."

"I miss her too, Vi. She'd want you to stay, to live on for her. AJ'd miss having you around. Tenn too, Minerva-"

"Just," I took a deep breath in to compose myself.
"Gimme a minute?"

"Okay." Louis walked along the beach's edge between the sand and the ocean as I looked up at the stars and the moon, remembering our first day ontop of the Eiffel Tower some many years ago.

I cant wait for you to come my way

"Stay safe, Clem and I'll stay strong. For you." A shooting star raced across the sky, gone in an instant.

I been far away
But ill keep running
Just to find a way to you til then

I sighed as I stood to my feet once more.
"Lets go home, Lou."

Im never gonna let you go

A/N: Its been like a month since my last update on this book. I love twdg and i always will...but i think the ending is near for this book....idk when yet but i just dont feel really motivated with this oneshot book anymore.........