●~TWDG Oneshotz~●

minecraft simp

[Have been playing minecraft and .....ya]

<crackhead funny oneshot bcuz i physically cannot write for shit lately>

(My only coping mechs are video gaming and self depricating jokes, ok mate.)
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Lou: "Creeper, Aw Man!"

Violet: *ignites a stack of TNT in the nether, right as Marlon breaks through the 2 by 1 wall seperating them*

Violet blew MarMarlon up

Clem: *wearing an Elytra*
"HOW THE FUCK DO I STOP-"

Clemmy fell from a high place

AJ: *mining Obsidian with his bare hands*
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AJ: *drinks speed potion*
"I'M FAST AS FUUUUCK BOIIII!"
*runs directly into a creeper*

AvengeAJ was creeped on
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Aasim: "I'mma tame a horse, I'll be back by nighfall."

Ruby: "Okay, sweetie, love you."

*13 minutes later*

Aasim: *runs into the house and barricades the door*
"I fed them."

Ruby: "Fed who?"

*hundreds of wolves spawn into the room, wagging their tails*

Aasim: "All I did was feed two of them some lamb, the next thing ya know-"

*another wolf pup spawns and hops into Ruby's arms*
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Violet: "I ate a suspicious stew, now I can't see shi-"
*falls into a raveen*
VictoryVi tried swimming in lava
Louis: *eats a suspicious stew* *becomes blind*
"VIOLET!!! HELP, I CAN'T SEE-"
*falls into the same raveen*
SinclaireLou fell from the sky
Clem: *looks at stew bowl*
"I think I'll pass-"
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Clem: "Why is Louis staring at the enderman?"

Violet: *rides her pig besides Clem* "He fears nothing. Or he's a noob."

Louis was slained by an enderman
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Violet: "Louis, if I accidentally pushed you into lava-"

*Louis jumps into the lava*

Clem: "LOUIS!!!"

Louis: "Relax babe, I drunk a fire resist potion."

Violet: "How long ago?"

Louis: *checks watch* "About 2 minutes and 53 seconds ago, why?"

Violet: *sighs* "I knew we shouldn't have given him full diamond armor."

Louis tried to swim in lava
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*in the nether*

Louis: "I'm so fucking tired of mining for ancient debris, I'm goin to bed."
*plops down bed*

Clem and Vi: "NO LOUIS WAIT-"

LouLou, VictoryVi, and Clemmy died to intentional game design
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Clem: *riding a hoglin* "Aw they're kinda cute."

Louis: "HOW IS THAT LEGAL?! THE FU-"

LouLou was slayed by Piglin Brute
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AJ: "Just me and my trusty water bucket." *jumps from 2000 meters in the air.

Clem: "He does realize his bucket was empty right?"

Louis: "He will in...3, 2...one..."

AJ fell out of heaven.

AJ: "Just me and my empty bucket." *jumps again*

Violet: " 'Tis a mood-"
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Minerva: "Boom, double minecraft beds."

Violet, holding Clem bridal style:"Cool, where will you be sleeping?"

Minerva: -_-
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Aasim: "I got 12 eyes of ender and 64 bread."

Louis: "I have full diamond gear and an enchanted sword."

Ruby: "I have four god apples and three stacks of blocks."

Violet: "I have leather armor and a water bucket."

Clem: "I have a horse. That's all I'm using against the ender dragon."

AJ: "Dog army." *45 wolves spawn and follow AJ*
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Marlon, wearing full netherite enchanted armor: "I'M GOD NOTHING SCARES ME!"
*sees a baby zombie in full diamond armor*
Marlon: "I'm going back inside, I ain't dealin with that."
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Clem: "I stole a villager's bed and this big ass iron dude gonna fucking slap me so I HAD TO KILL HIM!!!" *holds the iron*
"I DIDN'T WANNA BUT I WAS ON HALF A FUCKING HEART!"

AJ: "Really?"
*hits Clem*

Clem was slain by AJ

Vi/Lou: "Do we kill him now or.....?"

Aasim/Ruby: "NO!"
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Mitch: "Cool, a spawner!!!"

Aasim: *reading the sign outside the spawner*
"Dude, it's a creeper spawne-"

*explosion*

*explosion*

*Mitch screaming and furiously eating bread*

*explosion*

Mitch was crept on.

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[Just a small little post, working on an actual oneshot to post whenever i get motivated. See yall ♡]