tale to tell the tales of taletell

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[Compilation of memes and cracked shit that I lazily make into a "oneshot" that gives me some sort of happiness cuz oneshots do burn me out but I refuse to give up on this fandom-]

Clem: "Marlon actin real sus."

Marlon: "I'm in electrical with AJ!!!"

Everyone: "Oh shit, AJ-"

*gunshot*

AJ: *covered head to toe in blood* "Marlon vented right in front of me!"

Clem: "That's my awesome imposter son, now," *reveals herself as a gruesome imposter monster*
"LETS FINISH THIS!!"
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Clem: "Bought a spaceship, now I'm a space cadet-" *winks on beat*

Violet: *fliming the tiktok* "GAWDDAMN 😍🥰"
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Sophie: "I ate 12 gummies edibles and I don't feel shit. Like, really. Someone hit me with a car like 20 minutes ago and I feel fine."
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Mitch to Louis: "How do I tell AJ that I ate all of his graham crackers?"

*AJ breaking windows and shit*
"WHERE'S MY FUCKING CRACKERS????"

Louis: "I'd move to Canada."
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Marlon *sitting in a holding cell*: "Who knew weed was "illegal" in Flordia?"

Violet: "Yet, crackheads fucking alligators aren't."

Brody: "Disguising coke as weed WAS illegal, this fucker-"

Marlon: "This was my get rich fast scheme. I learned it on Google."

Violet: "And this is why I hate everyone."
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Clem: "I'm being a pirate, I have one leg."

Vi: "Well I have one eye so I should be the pirate."

Louis: *furiously scribbing on a piece of paper*
I CANT TALK SO I GET TO BE PIRATE

Aj: "Can't you all be pira-"

C/V: "NO!!"

Lou: *shaking head "yes" and awkwardly smiling.*
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Marlon: "As president-"

*gets assasinated*

*VP Clementine and First Lady Violet walk up to the stand*

C: "MAKE AMERICA GAY!!!"

*thousands of cheers and clapping*

V: "Now where the HELL IS MY ICED COFFEE?!"
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Louis: "If you give a mouse a cookie...."

Tenn: "They will eat the cookie."

Louis: "If you give a mouse a gun-"

Violet, not missing a beat: "They will kill Marlon."
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Clem: "I'd much rather lost my arm than my foot."

Louis: "Why?"

Clem: "Now when AJ eats my food I can't run after him, I gotta run hop like a crippled bunny."
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Louis: "When I die, put my money in the grave."

Violet, holding a shovel: "And tell me where to find you. A bitch got bills to pay."
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Tenn: "I'm responsible for alot of deaths."

Clem: "Me too."

AJ: "Me three."

Aasim: ".....is yall okay-"

T,C,A: "NO!"
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Ruby: "I fear AJ is going mad."

Aasim: "What makes you say that?"

AJ: *off in the distance, yelling at Tenn*
"CAN YOU FUCKING HIT THE DAMN TARGET?! HOW MANY BULLETS ARE YA GONNA WASTE MISSING THIS BIG ASS TARGET TENN?!"

Aasim: "Nevermind."
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Omar: "Love is totally overrated."

*Violet and Minerva and Louis and Clem and Aasim and Ruby all look at Omar*

Omar: "I'm as happy as can be with my pot-"

Minerva: "YOU GOT WEED?!"

*everyone sighs*
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Clem: "What do you think gives you power? Being king? Is it your crown?"

Marlon: "Both."

Clem: "If respect is the only thing between you and a knife in your back, respect is nothing right?"

Marlon: "What is this about?"

Clem: "I can be a very important person. I can help you, I can save you."

Marlon: "You'll betray me like the rest."

Clem: *hands Marlon a full netherithe set of armor*
"I could but that'd be dumb. We have to plan against the others."
*places down three wither skeleton heads*
"I have a plan."

Marlon: "I'm all ears."
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