To My Future Cheating Husband

LVIII. Heavy Rain

Ava's POV:

My fingers were tangled, much like my thoughts, but my emotions were as clear as a crystal.

I know what I'm feeling - my emotions weren't a hurricane chaos but rather a heavy rain.

I'm sad.

"So-" Dr.Cordova clicks his pen, "what brings you in today?"

"My scheduled session." Still using humor as a coping mechanism, I see.

Instead of laughing, he said: "Anything new happened?"

"Remember when we talked about projections last time?"

"Yes."

"How I'm potentially projecting my insecurities into Eli?"

He adjusted his seat, maybe proud of himself for pushing some sort of development in one of his clients. "Yes."

"Well, we made up."

Dr.Cordova smiles, "That's good, no?"

I exhale, "Yeah. And I finally got to figure out the big secret."

"Secret?"

"Yeah. Secret." After Eli told me his secret, I blacked out. Not the type of blackout where you fainted - I wished - but the ones where you couldn't really think of a response.

Any type of response would've worked, but nothing came out.

Ah, I remember the term now.

I blanked.

"And now, it made sense."

"What makes sense?"

"Everything."

The clock strikes the end time of our session. Somehow, an hour passes by in a blink of an eye. The sentences we exchanged were short, but the silence was unnervingly long.

I can tell Dr.Cordova wanted to continue our session, but that would be unfair to his next client.

I'm not the only one with problems.

The drive home drew me blank, and soon, I found myself on the side of the freeway with tears dripping down my cheeks.

The silent cry quickly became a deafening one.

I can't breathe.

I hold my chest.

I can't breathe.

My forehead crashed against the car wheel, and I allowed myself to validate these emotions.

I don't know how I did it, but I somehow end up in front of my house. The tears were long gone, and what happened not too long ago seems like a distant memory.

I turned off the engine and exhaled briefly before I got out of the car.

Closed car door.

One step.

Two steps.

Stop.

I turned towards the house acrossed from mine, and made my way to it. After reaching my destination, I knocked against the frame. A few seconds passed before the door opened and a shirtless Seth made his appearance.

Seth grins, "What got you in this neck of the woods?"

I didn't respond, rather stared at him for an uncomfortably long time. I'm drawing blank again.

His smile dropped, and he stood a bit straighter, "Hey, what's wrong?"

"You knew," I said.

It didn't take Seth long to catch up with the meaning in my words. His typical goofy act dropped, and his eyes skewed away in a guilt-like manner.