To My Future Cheating Husband

LXII. Love Every Part of Me

I place the book down and stare at the ceiling. When I close my eyes, I can remember the look on Eli's face -- shock, disbelief, and frustration.

There's a part of me that understands my misery is only temporary and eventually, when I see Eli's smile at the end of the aisle, everything will feel right.

But, how can doing the right thing make me feel so bad?

A knock appeared and I turned my head to see Dad. He smiles, "I got something for you." Dad held a bag in the air. It isn't a secret that Eli and I broke up. Everyone knows it at school and eventually, with Trevon's big mouth, it'll reach my parents' ears.

I smile softly before getting up.

He settled beside me, "Remember when we went to the mall a while back and you told me you wanted that weird lipstick thing?"

I don't recall that at all. I grabbed the bag he handed to me and pulled out the box inside. It's lipstick...colored blue.

He smiles, "Am I the best or what?"

I chuckle and hug him, "The very best."

It's the thought that counts.

"Now, I don't know why you girls are into these blue lipsticks nowadays." I'm certain no girl is interested in that unless it's Halloween. "But, if my little girl wants it and it makes her feel better. Wear it away."

I place the lipstick back inside the bag. "I'm fine Dad."

Dad hugged me, "It'll be okay hun. Whatever it is you're going through, it'll work out."

I rest my head against his chest. "I know."

"It hurts now, but one day," he said, "You'll look back and see how much you grow from this, and you'll be...thankful to experience it."

I feel sleepy. "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"I mean, really tell you something."

"Ava, it's me. You can tell me anything."

"I'm from the future."

Dad tilted his head to the side and digested the information I gave him. Then, he smiled, "What's the future like?"

I know he's playing along with my silly statement. Who'd want to question their daughter's insanity after a breakup with what they think is her first boyfriend? "Horrible."

"What makes it horrible?"

"Me." My head dropped and I held the urge to cry, "Me. I am horrible."

"Oh, Ava, darling. Don't say that."

"It's true. I wasn't there to stop Trevon from marrying this awful girl. Mom died. You didn't want to see me. Eli died. I cheated on my husband so many times I lost count. I killed my teacher." By the time I finished, I was an utter mess. "Everyone that ever cared about me is living miserable because of me."

Dad hugged me tightly and rubbed my back as I let out a dreadful cry. "I'm sorry your daughter is the villain of everyone's story."

Dad attempted to soothe me at the start, but the more did, the sadder I became. So, he simply stopped talking until I fell asleep.

I could feel his kiss on my forehead before he whispered: "No matter what you've done, Dad will always love you."

When he closed the door and the lights disappeared, I held onto the pillow to silence the cry.

Everyone was right.

As the days flew by, the breakup with Eli got easier. Soon, somehow, we started talking again.