Confetti it's a Parade Book 2

This Christmas

Sam Winchester x Reader

Synopsis: Christmas was always a hard time of year for you. Sam wanted to make sure that this Christmas made you smile.

Sighing unhappily, you stared down at the picture that was in one hand, before taking a sip from the whiskey bottle in the other. As a tear slipped down your cheek, you pulled the blanket further up as you lounged back in your bed, dressed in your warmest but rattiest pair of pajamas. 

Your home, the bunker, was always chilly and damp, but even more so in the winter months. After hearing you complain last year, Sam had surprised you with a portable heater, but even with that running today, you couldn't warm up.

It might not be the cold air in your room that had you shivering in bed. It could be the memories rushing through your mind, bringing back all the negative thoughts and feelings you tried so hard to hide every year. Christmas was always hard for you, after a Demon had gone on a killing spree, killing your family as they waited for you to come home from college. With hope in your eyes, and a fresh look to life, you had opened the door, expecting to smell the Christmas dinner cooking, and your siblings arguing over the TV. Dead silence met you as you opened the door, and the metallic smell of blood in the air. With your heart in your throat you had stepped inside, tears falling as you took in your family, bloody and lifeless around the Christmas tree.

Sam and Dean had come, killing the Demon, and taking you under their wing. College was out of the question, your old life seeming useless and wrong. Instead, you had learned to hunt, while slowly falling in love with the younger, sweet brother. 

Now, here you were, five years later, the memories still as fresh as if they had happened yesterday. The heartache still as hard to handle, and the thought of Christmas bringing a sob to your throat. That's one thing that living with Sam and Dean made easier, they didn't celebrate any holidays. 

"Y/N?" Sam asked softly, leaning against the door frame. You hadn't even heard him enter the room, and you tried to wipe away the tears, not wanting to be caught crying. "What's wrong?"

"It's Christmas." You whispered. "It's supposed to be the best time of the year. But it's when my parents died, and all the decorations bring back bad memories."

He sat down on the bed, pulling you onto his lap, letting you rest your head on his chest. Gently rubbing your back, his words were soft. "What if we tried to make some new memories for Christmas? I know you'll never forget what happened to your family, but maybe we can make it so Christmas isn't so hard for you."

"Thanks Sam." You answered. "But I think I'd just rather stay in bed and sleep." Sliding out of his arms, you set the bottle on the nightstand, before scooting down until your head was resting on your pillow.

Sighing, Sam stood up, staring down at you for a moment before leaving the room, leaving you alone to your thoughts. In a way you had wished you had gone with Sam's idea. Christmas had always been your favorite time of the year, and you missed it very much. You just weren't sure if you would ever be able to celebrate the day without remembering the horrifying deaths of your family.

With tears drying on your cheeks, you stared at the picture of your family one more time before sitting it down on Sam's pillow. Closing your eyes, exhausted from the emotions running through your system, you let sleep overtake you. Because in sleep you couldn't feel, and that's all you wanted. Oblivion from the pain this time of year brought you.

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"Y/N, wake up." Sam's voice sounded from next to your ear as his large hands carefully shook your shoulder, waking you from you nap.