Confetti it's a Parade Book 2

Distant

Struggling to carry the containers of fast food through the door, you were relieved when Sam stepped up, taking them from your arms. Sitting down at the table beside Dean, you gave him a tired smile before digging into the bags. Handing out each specialized order, you began nibbling on the fries you had ordered for yourself, catching Dean staring your way.

"What?" You asked him, wondering if you had ketchup on your face.

"Is that all you ordered?"

"I wasn't that hungry," you explained.

"So Y/N, where did you run off to this morning?" Sam asked as he added dressing to his salad. "I thought we were going to research together."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I had a couple of errands to run that I forgot about," you stuttered, feeling Dean's gaze still on you.

"It's no problem. But we did find a case, and we plan on leaving in an hour," Sam continued before taking a big bite of lettuce.

"I think I'll stay behind on this one," you spoke quickly, your eyes downcast.

You could hear Dean shifting in his chair, and you knew he was about ready to play 20 questions. "Y/N, this is the third case you've stayed behind at the bunker. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, of course it is!" You quickly answered, standing up, reaching to grasp the table. "I just don't feel like hunting right now. And I have things that need to be done around her. You two can manage. You always do."

"Y/N..," Dean said, but you were already leaving the library, away from the prying conversation. Heading straight to the room you shared with Dean, you shut the door behind you, going straight into the bathroom, shutting that door and locking it.

Sitting down on the cool tile floor, you leaned your head back. Wondering how long you were going to be able to do this. You hated lying, and you weren't good at it. Especially to Dean. Dean was very observant, and you knew he was curious. Actually, you were surprised he hadn't asked you yet, but you were also relieved.

"Y/N, are you in there?" He asked, knocking softly on the door.

"Dean, can you just give me some space," you pleaded with him, knowing if you looked into those beautiful green eyes of his you would break down and tell him everything.

"Y/N, it seems like that's all I've given you lately," he muttered darkly. "The past couple of weeks you haven't seemed like yourself. You don't talk to me, and i'm afraid I'm losing you."

His words cut through your heart, but you knew they were true. You had been distancing yourself from him as you tried to figure things out. "Dean please. I'll talk to you when you come back from the hunt. But right now I...,"

"There is no hunt," Dean blurted out. "Sam went on it without me. Said something about calling Claire to go help him."

"Dean, you should have gone."

"I wanted to spend time with you. To fix whatever I've done that's pushed you away from me."

"Dean, you've done nothing wrong," you assured him.

"Then what's going on? You won't talk to me, you won't let me touch you! I feel like I've lost part of my soul, and I have no idea why!"

Tears streamed down your face, but the words still didn't want to come. How could you tell Dean what was wrong? Hearing them outloud would change both of your lives. Forever. "I can't,"

"Y/N, are you cheating on me? Is that it? You've found someone else. Someone that isn't a hunter, and you don't know how to tell me."

Closing your eyes, you could only imagine how much he was hurting. But however much he was feeling was nothing compared to you. "That's not...,"

"Why won't you admit it!" He yelled, banging on the door. "All the time you refuse to go on hunts with us! The hurried mornings, the long errands. Why can't you just tell me the truth!"

Standing up, wavering slightly on your feet, you threw the door open, surprising him. "You want the truth?"

"I think I deserve it, don't I? After all, I still love you, even if you don't love me anymore."

"I'll always love you," you whispered. "But Dean, I'm not cheating on you. And I never will."

His anger dissipated immediately, his shoulders slumping. "Then what is it?"

"I wasn't sure how to tell you. I've been wanting to tell you, but I'm still wrapping my mind around it myself."

"Sweetheart, you're scaring me," he whispered, reaching out for your hand, but you pulled back. You weren't ready to be touched, not yet.

"Dean, I'm sick. Very sick," you admitted, feeling a weight lift from your shoulders at finally telling someone. "Can we sit down?"

Nodding, his face extremely pale, Dean sat down on the bed, and you perched beside him. "You remember three weeks ago? How I fainted?"

"Yeah, you said you had forgotten to eat that day."

"Well, that wasn't the case. I went to the doctor, and I have Ependymoma."

"Is that...," he gulped. "Treatable?"

"Not really," you sighed, a tear slipping down your cheek. "I didn't want to worry you, and I wanted to wait until I had everything figured out. But they've tried a couple of different treatments, and nothings working."

"We'll see if Rowena can fix it!" Dean exclaimed, standing up.

"I already tried," you whispered, staring up at him. "She hid the majority of the symptoms so far, but she said magic won't even take it away."

"We deal with the Supernatural every day! There has to be something out there that will fix this! I can't.... Y/N, I can't lose you."

"And I don't want this either. But I also don't want to spend my last days on Earth hunting for a cure. I have a couple more treatments coming up, but then I just want to spend the last of my days beside you. Riding in the Impala, or cuddling on this bed. Please."

You could see how torn he was. And you had a feeling that he wasn't going to give up. But he still nodded his head, sitting down and pulling you against him in a sweet hug. And even though you were scared of the future, you were relieved that Dean knew.