Confetti it's a Parade Book 2

Overwhelming

Friend Reader

Synopsis: The reader can feel herself further into her emotions and isn't sure how to handle it.

I can feel it start to settle in. The feeling of despair and loneliness. Feelings that I can't even began to put a name to. Knowing that whatever I did, there was probably no way I was going to stop it. When all the words seems to continue to move on, while you're stuck in the same place, a prisoner of your emotions.

It's such a horrible feeling. Knowing that the past couple of days had been good. That you might actually be getting out of your funk, that you might actually be feeling what these people call normal. It had been heady, and fun. Smiling and laughing, feeling as if a heavy weight had been lifted from your shoulders.

Then last night you could feel the subtle change. Thoughts started coming back, reminding you that you didn't deserve to be happy. That you were just another screw up, that your life was pathetic and a waste of time. Trying to ignore these thoughts I had gone about my day, pushing myself to do my best. Forcing myself past my comfort zone, trying to ignore the pending thunderstorm in the back of my mind.

As the day progressed, more and more was asked of me. Chores and ideas were forced upon me when I wasn't ready, bringing the sense of hopelessness back full throttle. Struggling to stay afloat, I did what was asked of me, feeling as if a part of me was floating away. I could feel the change. Gone was the girl who wanted to work hard, to keep moving. In her place was just a shell, one fragile and ready to snap at any moment. The smile had turned to a grimace, her eyes filling with tears at a single thought.

It truly wasn't anyone's fault. It was going to happen even if you hadn't of been pushed, just not so early. But by the time I had made it home, to what I had hoped was the safe confines of the bunker, I knew all it would take was something minor to set me off. Loud sounds, a remark from someone. Anything, and I knew I would crumble to the ground.

As soon as I was home the sounds melted together, grating against my nerves like fingernails to a chalkboard, upsetting me so much that I was literally shaking. Trying to control it, I took deep steadying breaths, but I couldn't get far enough away from the sounds, and the lights to soothe me.

With tears threatening to fall, I couldn't believe the people standing next to me couldn't see I was holding on by a thread. With one look, one question from them the tears would slide down my cheeks. My head was throbbing, my energy drained away. I wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed, pretending as if the world didn't exist.

So lost in my own turmoil, I didn't feel Dean's hand on my shoulder. "Y/N, are you okay?" He asked gently, noticing how I seemed to resemble a doe, timid and ready to bolt at any second.

With those words, I couldn't hold it back any longer. Unable to even speak, the tears poured out, and he quickly pulled me to his chest. "Y/N, what is it?" He asked, but I just shook my head, knowing that I must look like an idiot. There were no injuries, at least on the surface, and it wasn't like I had had a bad day.

"I can't Dean." I muttered, pushing myself as tight to his chest as I could get, wanting to just sink into him. He was warm, and comforting, and I needed that so much.

"Shh, it's okay." He started to say, feeling my flinch at how loud his words seemed to me. "I've got you." He whispered, gently rubbing soothing circles upon my back.

"What's wrong?" Sam exclaimed as he came into the kitchen, and I jumped, my entire body tensing. Dean must have glared at Sam because he came quietly up to us, his hazel eyes peering over his brother's shoulder.

"I think we need to have one of those nights." Dean whispered, and I had no clue what he meant. Sam disappeared from my line of vision, and suddenly I was floating in Dean's arms as he gently picked me up. Not even caring what he was up to, I cuddled against his chest, trying to calm down. Trying to tell myself that I was being stupid.

Soon, Dean was settling me into the backseat of the Impala, climbing in beside me. Sam was in the driver's seat, pulling out of the garage. The car was quiet, which was welcoming. No rock music like usual playing from the cassette player. Staring out the window, I sat on one side of the seat, Dean occasionally glancing at me as he stayed on his side. The stars shown out the window, vibrant in the darkened sky.

Driving for only about fifteen minutes, Sam pulled over into a secluded field, shutting the Impala's engine off. Grabbing a blanket from the floor, Dean gently took my hand, guiding me out of the car and up onto the hood. Wrapping the blanket around me, he sat down next to me, with Sam on the other side.

With my heart beat finally slowly down, I stared up into the sky, taking deep breaths as I did nothing but look. Trying to clear my mind from all the thoughts running through it. Sam and Dean both stayed quiet, each lost in their own thoughts, their heads tilted up just like mine.

Time passed, and soon I could feel myself slowly returning to normal. The thoughts and doubts were still there, but in the back of my mind. "Thank you." I whispered. "You don't know how much I needed this."

"Y/N, I know how things can sometimes be too much. I could see the panic in your eyes. When Sam and I were younger, we would do this as often as possible. Just get away from everything, and enjoy the sights the nights provide us. It always helped us."

Reaching over, I grasped Dean's hand, taking Sam's hand with my other. "It was just too much. The sounds, the thoughts. I felt as if everything was ten times worse than it was, and I didn't know how to stop it. This worked, better than I could have hoped."

"We all have our Demon's to face." Sam stated softly. "But with good people beside us, and stars above us it makes it all a little more bearable."