Confetti it's a Parade Book 2

A Hard Goodbye

It was the worst type of countdown you could have imagined. Each day that passed, knowing that it was growing closer and closer to the end, it was almost too much to bear. Each night a reminder that you were down another day. Another day closer to the time you would have to fess up your greatest secret.

With only days left, you were always on edge, jumping at the slightest noise. Your hands always seemed to tremble, your heart threatening to beat out of your chest. If Dean noticed, he didn't say anything, and for that you were grateful. Because it gave you time to figure out what to do.

It wasn't until you started to see things that you knew a decision had to be made. Dean was starting to get curious, asking if you were feeling okay, staying close by your side. After sending him on a useless errand, you sat down on your shared bed.

"This is it," you whispered, staring at everything you had come to hold dear. The memory foam mattress that Dean had fallen in love with. The soft flannel comforter you had forced him to buy. With tears in your eyes, you picked up the photo album you had started only months ago when you realized your time was fleeting. Pictures of you and Dean. Cuddling on the bed, sitting and watching the stars. Pictures of the three of you taken by Jody, showing how happy your life had been.

Reaching over to the nightstand, you opened the drawer, pulling out the notepad you kept there. "Dean, I'm sure by the time you find this note I'll be long gone. Please forgive me for the words I said, I meant none of them. I love you, more than I thought I could love another person. You made me so very happy, and I hope that I made you happy as well. Those words I said were meant to keep you from following me. You see, I made a deal ten years ago, never imagining I would find something to live for. Someone. I had sold my soul, the reason doesn't matter, and as the days ticked away, I knew I couldn't have you there when the hellhounds finally came to get me. I'd rather have you mad at me then watch me be torn apart. So I left. I hope in time you'll forgive me. But I also hope that in time, you'll be able to move on. I will always love you, but I hope you find someone that you can love again."

Tears dotted the paper as you folded it up, placing it in the photo album next to your favorite picture. Shutting it, you placed it back in its place just as Dean came back into the bunker. "Y/N, I got the items you wanted!"

Taking a deep breath, you picked up your suitcase, even though where you were going you wouldn't need it. Pulling it behind you, you stepped into the hallway just as Dean rounded the corner. "Y/N! Wait, what's going on?"

"Dean, I've done some thinking lately," you started, trying to keep calm even though you were dying inside. "And I've decided it's time for me to move on."

"What the hell? I thought this thing between us was special," Dean answered the bag slipping from his fingers as he strode forward.

"Sure, maybe it was to you. But Dean, I need to move on. To something normal," you insisted.

"So, this was just a temporary distraction, was that it? A fling before you went back to someone boring?"

"Everything is temporary, this was merely one of those things," you told him. "So, goodbye Dean. I wish you well."

"No," he muttered as turned around. Partly so you could leave, partly so he would see the tears threatening to fall. "No, I can't believe this. You couldn't have faked those emotions."

"Maybe they weren't fake. Maybe I did feel something, for a while. But it's faded, and I want to leave before we make fools of ourselves."

"Fine," he spat. "Then go! Leave this life, and leave me. But Y/N, if you walk out that door, I swear to Chuck that you will never be welcomed back."

It was what you had wanted, but hearing the venom in Dean's voice directed at you was enough to have your knees buckling. Trying to stay strong, you continued forward. "I guess that's a choice I'll have to make."

He didn't move to follow you, exactly as you had hoped. Taking a deep breath, you stepped out into the fresh air, immediately getting drenched. "Of course it's raining," you muttered, but at least it covered the tears pouring down your cheeks.

"I can help with that," An accented voice announced from beside you. Turning to face the man in the dark, tailored suit, you immediately knew who he was. Sure, you had a day left before your sentence was up, but it wasn't like you had anything to live for anymore.

"Sure," you agreed, reaching out and taking his hand, leaving your suitcase on the side of the road.