Soft Hearted Woman Part 2

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After you heard the roar of the Impala pulling away from the bunker, what little energy you had left drained, and you collapsed on the floor, not even feeling the cold tile as it connected with your shins. Tears poured down your face, and you made no move to stop them. Your heart was broken, shattered into a million pieces that would never fit back together, and all your care in the world was gone. In its place was pain, a deep, raw pain that consumed you from the inside.

Bracing yourself against the wall, you stood up on shaky legs, your breaths short as you made your way down the hall to your room, where you would pack up what little possession you had accumulated over the years. Passing by Dean's room, you saw the door was cracked. Knowing you should keep moving, that you needed to get out before he came back and his fury would be ten-fold, you still stepped inside the room.

Seeing his photos still on the nightstand, his records still stacked neatly next to the couch was too much to bare, and you sank down on his bed before your legs gave way. A flannel was tossed over his dresser, and empty whiskey bottle on the other side. His unique musk still clung to the bed, and you wanted to burrow into the pillows and pretend the last hour hadn't happened.

Instead, you stood up, reaching over and running your hand along the shirt, before grasping it. Knowing you shouldn't, you still picked it up, carrying it with you into your room. It became one of the first items in your suitcase, as you began throwing your items in. Leaving a handful of clothes behind, you shut the lid of the suitcase, your eyes red as you glanced around the room one last time. This room had been your lifesaver. You had found comfort and solace in its wall. A place to belong, and it hurt you to leave it as much as it hurt you to leave Sam and Dean.

Dragging the suitcase along the floor, you made your way into the garage, the Impala's prized parking spot empty. Your little car sat off to the side, a thin film of dust covering the windshield from lack of use. Turning the key in the ignition, your car sparked to life, giving you no excuse not to leave. With a sob ripping from your throat, you slowly drove away from the bunker. Each mile seemed like a stab to your heart, and you almost had to pull over multiple times to wipe the tears from your eyes.

Soon, you were driving across the state border, the Bunker hours away from you. Not paying attention to the speed limits, you were shocked and dismayed to see a police officer behind you, their lights flashing.

"Damn it." You muttered, hastily wiping the tears from your eyes as you pulled to the side of the road. Getting out one of your fake id's and insurance, you waited for the cop to step up.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?" The Cop asked, leaning down so he could glance in your window.

"I'm not sure. But whatever it was, I'm sorry sir." You apologized. "My mind's not in the right place. But I'll do better, I promise." You told him, easily trusting the police officer.

"Well, you see. I thought it was you. You're easy enough to spot, even when you aren't with the Winchesters. Won't my boss be happy when I tell him who I've caught." The cop exclaimed, flashing black eyes at you as he reached down to open the door.

Reaching blindly beside the seat for the Angel blade you had hidden there, you let out a screech when he grabbed you by the hair, pulling you out of the car and onto the gravel. With your hands and knees stinging from the impact, you stood up with a growl, slamming the blade straight into the Demon's neck, watching as he flashed orange before your eyes.

Sitting there, breathing heavily, that's when you made a promise to yourself. You were no longer going to be that shy, over trusting, big hearted person you had prided yourself on being. Gone was the trusting, gone was the second chances. You would do what Dean would want. Steel yourself away from your feelings, leaving no room for your heart, or feelings once again.

Taking a deep breath, you said goodbye to the girl you had been, ready to give life to the new fearless hunter taking form.

Dean's POV

After my talk with Sam at the bar, I hadn't even given him five minutes to call someone else in on the hunt before I had the Impala pointed back towards home. Hopefully she hadn't left the bunker yet, and I could work hard to show her the error of my ways. Plead with her not to leave.

I knew I had been wrong, but she had scared me. She was too good, too pure for this world, and I knew that it was going to come back and bite her in the butt any day now. But I would rather have her that way than not, if only I hadn't already scared her off.

"Dean, slow down!" Sam exclaimed from the passenger seat, holding on tightly as I took a curve a little too fast. "You know Y/N. She's probably ready to forgive you already."

"I don't think so." I answered, a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. "She has too soft of a heart, and I did too much damage. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to repair it."

He fell silent then, watching out the window as I sped down the highway, hating how far away from the bunker we were.

It was about two hours later I slammed on the brakes as I pulled into the bunker's garage, my heart shattering when I noticed her little Volkswagen bug was nowhere to be seen. I had always picked on her for that car, saying it was as far from a hunter's car as she was from a wrestler, but she loved the thing. If it was gone, then it was very likely she was as well.

Racing out of the car, I went down the hallway, seeing her door open. Stepping inside, I closed my eyes as soon as I spotted the nearly empty room. Trying to keep the tears at bay, I slammed my hand into the door, the pain nothing compared to the pain tearing through my chest. "I was too late." I whispered, just as Sam came to stand behind me.

"I tried texting her. I've been trying. She hasn't responded at all." Sam mumbled from behind me. "I'm not sure how long she's been gone.

"Son of a Bitch!" I exclaimed, pushing past him and making my way into my room. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I placed my head in my hands, feeling as if I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. Trying to take deep breaths, I noticed that my favorite flannel shirt was no longer on the dresser. In fact, it was nowhere in my room, and somehow that brought a little bit of comfort to me. If Y/N had taken one of my shirts with her, then maybe all was not lost. Maybe there was still a little bit of kindling in our relationship that I could spark.

"Dean, what's wrong?" Cas asked, making me jump a mile high. He was standing at the doorway, his eyes squinting in confusion. "Both you and Sam seem upset, and Y/N isn't here. Did something happen?"

"I happened, that's what." I muttered darkly. "I scared her off, and now I might have lost her forever."

"You scared Y/N off?" Cas questioned, stepping farther into the room. "Dean, what did you do? Y/N is a pure soul, one of the purest I've ever seen. If you did something to harm that..."

He didn't finish his sentence as he took in my ragged appearance, the guilt no doubt clouding my eyes. "I will help you find her. But I might not be able to persuade her to come back. She loves easily, but hurts even easier. And this seems like a pain that might not be easily forgotten."

"Cas, I don't blame you for being pissed at me. Hell, I'm pissed at me. But please, just make sure she's okay. Then I can go talk to her, let her know what an Ass I was. Beg her to come back." I said tiredly, exhausted from the emotions running rampant through me.

With another annoyed glance my way, Cas disappeared, hopefully off to find Y/N before something happened to her. Knowing that I could only do nothing but wait, I stood up, heading into the library for something strong to hopefully dull the pain. Hoping that by this time tomorrow I would be able to apologize to Y/N. To let her know how I truly felt about her.

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