The Pollyannaish-Jabez

Issue 6# "Jape comes back with a laugh!"

{The Health Community Centre} 

"Yanno doc, I really do gots problems. I'm a very poor, comedian." Someone lays on Jabez's couch, placing their arm over their forehead. "C'mon, you can tell me a joke!" Jabez supported the being, the being under this human-like disguise. "Really, its a really funny one!" Jape slowly unveiled himself via grasping his mask, pulling it out. He speeds inwards Jabez at blistering speeds, it sends him beyond the thick walls behind him. "Yer fired!" Jape had stood in the gap he made, intentionally making it for Jabez, as Jabez lays atop the debris. Its meant to fool him because of his egocentric attitude, Jabez was under him merely camouflaging to hinder himself. Holding on the edges with his fingers, then he twists himself upwards into the being. 

"I told ya, ya can't hurt me EVER, unless its funny!" He stood taking the impact of Jabez's heels into his torso. Jabez passed through his being, wait, he can do it to this guy, yet why couldn't he do it to the ghost? Maybe because he might just bounce off it, Jabez retracted his palm as he smacked him across the cheek. "YEOWW!" So slapping was a thing people usually found funny, then Jape retaliated by sending a punch into Jabez's abdomen. "Yer really belligerent, aren't ya?" As Jabez skids back into the wall, near the door. 

'Man, his punches are fathomless!' Jabez held his abdomen for a second, then he stood upright."Let's take this outside!" Jabez ran inwards the being, self-exerting his toes under his shoes and socks. He managed to tackle him, sending him downwards the outskirts of the city. "Get off me!" Jape kicked off Jabez's torso, as he bounces towards one of the vehicles. "AAAH!!" A person's car was dented and flipped over, Jabez had to act and that's saving the person. Jabez rushed inwards the vehicle, running on air, defying physics. 

He quickly comes in for the safety of the driver, bringing him out of the vehicle unharmed. "Thanks, Jabez!" The person thanked Jabez for his heroic deed. "No problemo!" Jabez stated after tailing Jape, he utilized his body supremacy to figure out where Jape was. 

{Landing Strip} 

"And the fat guy fell because he stubbed his toe!" Jape had stood atop a group of men, withstanding everything that's thrown at him. The women and men were terrified of this being's might, assuming that he was an impossibility to exist. "What is he??" Man no 1 says sounding like a pantywaist, Jape turned his head into the person. "Ooh, you're about to get the time of your life, crony!" Jape walked inwards the being, he grabbed on his face and it stretches unnaturally like a mask. "Lezz see what you got under that hide!" Jape grinned like any villainous cartoon character would. 

"Hey!" Jabez walks in on the scene, fixating his attention on the caller. "I was juzz havin' fun , my man!" Jape casually releases tension about his victim, he readjusted his outfit once more. "Then let me spice it up!" Jabez dashes indefinitely inwards Jape, Jape was about to pull him in a bear hug then Jabez transitions himself to get behind him. He grabbed his clothes, then flipping it atop the being's skull, blinding him. "What're you do-- AIEEEE!" Jape was screaming at the top of his lungs, his underpants is being pulled sky-high! 

"No matter how hard you can be, I'll always figure out a way to win!" Jabez had leveled his back and legs groundwards, tripping the other on the ground. 'Fighting him the old fashioned way might work, my will always do exceed something! But I can't harm him unless its funny!' Jabez hoped that might've made him want to quit until the being began to whirl in a hurricane-like form. He's refreshed himself, looking quite fashionable. "Listen 'ere, I know your strengths. Everything before even if it's drawn, I don't dodge because I'm a being with gag physiology, and the only way to harm me is the method you've invented!" The gag villain moves at a level of infinite velocities, limitlessly and tirelessly around Jabez, while hitting him infrequently.

'If I know my science, 'time dilation' can solve this conundrum for me!' Jabez alternated his own mass to an infinite scale and utilizing his unrestricted movement vanities. And he alternated his speed to match his, punching him straight into the groin. "WHULFF!!" His tracks had stopped, he held his nards as he walked away from Jabez. "Ya really wanna play it that way, do ya?" He lets go of his nards, he had lifted a smile like he was fine after what Jabez did to him. 

"You oughta think twice before pulling the same tricks on me! Because I can make myself intangible via absolute speed, snowflake boy!" He began to encircle Jabez, what was he going to do, the same trick. 'He's smart, I'll avow.' Jabez closed his eyes, he concentrated, utilizing more of his body supremacy powers. In a matter of moments he dodged fast on the fly, Jape's attack was faster than blinding speeds yet he dodged that. "Huh?" Did he not realize that Jabez did that to befool him? 

"Gimme your dress, lady!" Jabez called out to one of the strippers, one of them disrobe quickly as they expose themselves. Jabez strayed his eyes from the other, once he retrieved the clothes from her as he entangled the being in clothes. "Watdaheck!?!" He was losing his balance and guard, how can he lose like this..? 

As he fell on the ground, higgledy-piggledy with just about what befell. "What's goin' on here?" A police officer entered the strip club, as he had lowered his gun seeing Jabez. "I take it you've been handling things, Jabez, so, can I take 'im off your hands?" As the police officer walked inwards the fallen Jape. Had Jabez finally been able to bring one of his foes into jail, and here you thought the villain would've bolted away like that, huh? 

Jabez left the building. 

"Yessiree!" Jabez says in glee, letting the officer bring the guy into his vehicle. "See ya!" Jabez had bid farewell to the villain and cop. "Heh.. see ya." Jape murmured to himself, being escorted in the passenger seat. Hasn't Jabez found out where Anim had been hiding, no he hasn't, ever think why Jabez rarely dodges? Its because he uses that to his advantage if he encounters them so much, and they omit the fact he's fast himself. It becomes their disadvantage, but for Jape, he wasn't going to forget what he knew about Jabez. 

'Your methods, I'll find their flaws and when I do. Lezz see who'll be the loser! What I've never shown you was my intellect, and that was your weakness, being a hero and assuming repetition will help you attune yourself against foes.' Jape thought, who would've thought Jabez had another smart opponent, Jabez never noticed that. Is it because he was holding it back, he wants to execute his brilliance when needing to? 

How many enemies will I get, I know it isn't going to be an easy thing all people can withstand. If nobody's going to be the hero, who will? That's up to me, I can't let someone just risk their necks to do one thing, just as he heard a woman's yelp. He rushed into the source of the sound, petty crime was something I can't ignore now.  Jabez paused before a man holding a knife up to a woman's face, while Jabez had been standing a few meters from them. 

"HUH?! YOU GOT A PROBLEM!" Before the man would threaten her, faster than blinding speeds. Jabez grabbed his wrist, crushing his wrist as he added his strength slightly into it. The man was crippling, and he's being overpowered in mere moments, the experience was grisly for her eyes. That she ran away from the whole thing, Jabez had released him he had whipped towards the woman. "I was trying to help?" Jabez scratched the back of his head after releasing the being, he looked at his own hands. 

'I only did that so he wouldn't have done sordid things to her, but who am I to expect a thank you? Because I don't, I'll just do what I do!' He walked the opposite side of the unconscious man, letting him alone, who knows what might get him. Something had slowly absorbed the being, Jabez puts his hands in his pockets. It began to rain, thousands of water droplets hammer against buildings, inanimate objects, vehicles and those walking outside. Jabez had a smile kept on his lips, nodding like a gentleman to those he passed by. 

It didn't matter if he was alone if he was protecting people and keeping a smile upwards. He knew he was already where he needed to be, a hero will always stand for what's right. That's until something like a pirate tattered vehicle past by him, he had frozen his tracks, he noticed the pirate details. 

'Great! Blackbeard's out! I oughta follow him where his gang is going!' Jabez takes the higher ground so he won't be detected so easily, he tailed after them. Hoping they hadn't noticed.. yet!