The Pollyannaish-Jabez

Issue 20# "Jabez saves the day!"

"I hate you! I HATE YOU!" Jape pounced at Jabez, like a raging panther on the loose, the hero quickly improvises. Grasping on the other's corona, he leveled it into his eyes, blinding his opponent temporarily. "It took me a while to piece myself together, and I'm back!" Jabez speeds around the being, enfolding him in his own king clothes, once he had tilted on his heels. Jape had fallen on the ground, he grits his teeth in annoyance, he abruptly arises in choler. "ENOUGH GAMES! THIS IS WHERE THINGS GET SERIOUS!" Jape stood up, charging unbelievably fast at Jabez. 

Forcing him to collide against a structure. "I don't know how you keep getting back up!" Jape narrowed his cartoony eyes inwards Jabez, fisticuffs grasping on his torso."But you're gonna-- GUK!! MY TONGUE!" Jape's tongue was yanked upon, Jabez pulled it to the other side. "There can be only one hero for L.A!" Jabez sends a kick under his schlong, Jape had grunted, just as Jabez lets go of his tongue. Letting him fall on his knees, Jape's tongue retracts back into his mouth. "Ya think you'll always beat me the same way!? Do ya?!" Jape slowly stood up, turning himself to face Jabez. 

"Tatatata!!" Jape began to tap dance, what was he trying to pull. "Time ta' squish the snowflake!" Something behind Jabez appeared, it was hundreds of Jape's heads swarming in his direction. 'Come on! These attacks are just weird, when did tap dancing create buncha noodles?!' Jabez raises his hands up in defense, while it downpours on him, its just as strong as he is. 'I gotta keep my ground.. don't fall down!' Jabez's clothes were becoming more and more unkempt and torn. 

Just after the number of heads had stopped raining on him, Jabez was on his knee. 'That was over literally fathomless.' Jabez needed time to regain his strength, Jape tapped danced his way towards Jabez. Once he's near the other, he sends a kick straight at him as he sends him flying into a billboard about brushing one's teeth. Jabez's half was thru a picture's tooth. "Keep your teeth clean with Colgate, kiddos!" Jabez says to the kids hanging around the rooftops, then he shoots himself towards another building. 

"Almost had ya there!" Jape says, standing at the edge of the building Jabez was there. The albino looked below, noticing a flagpole. "I could airmail myself at him, genius!" Jabez descended from the building, grabbing onto it as bends from his weight. 'If I time this right!' Jabez waited for the being to lunge, and once he did. 

He airmailed himself inwards the being. "GANGWAY, JAPE!" Jabez says so that the being would freeze for a second. Once over the being, he slapped on both of his ears causing them to deafen. "I made you freeze for a second, boyo!" Jabez sticks his landing on the building he aimed for, witnessing Jape hit the ground. "You cheap little dolt!" Jape gets back up on his feet. 'I would have to do something puerile to fool him even for a nanosecond.' Jabez dives into Jape's direction, so if he was going to quench him. 

'I need to do make the most redonkulous move!' Jabez lands on the ground. He danced like some person with epilepsy, Jape stared at him. "Wazzat? Some sort of move you're trying to trick me fo'?" Luckily body supremacy allowed him to use a clone, and come in behind him. "Voila!" Jape automatically turned his head on the other, but in a matter of moments, Jabez already had been tickling the being. "STAPH IT! IM DYING! HAHAHA!!" He collapsed to the ground, Jabez was waiting for the point when he would just submit. 

"OKAY,OKAY! You win!" Jape responded, unable to bear it because of "unless its funny, I can be harmed" logic.  As the president and secretary inspected where this whole dustup had finished, police had surrounded the scene. "You deserve the right to be called L.A's hero. Unfortunately, a charity was going on and Jape caused ruination to it." Kobe placed his hand on the shorter figure, Jabez turned his head inwards the president. "They're safe, you don't have to be perturbed about it," Jabez responded, he hadn't brought up about him being fallen. 

So had Jabez protected the civilians from the desolation of a building? Yes, yes he did.

Because he was defeated. 

Jape was cuffed and escorted into the police car. "I was havin' my fun, 'til you besmirched it!" He says before being pushed into the car. 

A few minutes later. 

{L.A, City Hall} 

"Our hero has returned, and to celebrate it. We're throwing Jabez a parade!" Kobe says the news and media catch up to what's going on. Everything escalated quickly. "You want to say something to the people?" Kobe steps out of the platform, letting the hero have the authority to stand on it. Jabez stepped on the platform, the cameras zoom in closely at Jabez. "I'm just really glad I can keep ya'll safe from danger and help out my good peeps!" Jabez stated, there were cheers for him, of course, a hero knew how to win through wits. And sheer will, he gets off the platform. 

--6:30pm-- 

{The Health Community Centre} 

"You're supposed to be DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!" Tessa shouted aloud, screaming at him in the ear. "Really? Then I must've failed your expectations." Jabez says gleefully, walking inwards his office. Jabez entered his office, elegantly taking his office chair once more. "Arrogant snob!" Tessa shouts inwards his office, while fireworks began firing. 

Jabez inspected his window, it was the parade for him. "A good horrorshow needs a good guy!" Jabez leaped thru his window and bouncing straight towards the tall figurine of himself. He had landed on the side of it, giving high fives to the people. "You rock, man!" Usually, they did assume he was male, but in truth, he was genderless. "You keep being you, bruv!" Jabez waved to the person, having a wide smile to the people. 

Other attractions followed behind Jabez's life-like model. 

"Just look at him.. taking all the fame and glory. Disgusting.." Tessa flicked her glares away from the television.