~Together~ (Carl Grimes x Reader) *UNDER EDIT*

chapter 36: You helped me, it's my turn to help you now...

*(Y/N)'s P.O.V*

The day after....after Lori, after Rick's breakdown, after everyone had visiably bacem even more depressed if that was even possible. None of us realised how much she kept us together, how much we replied on her. I sighed and turned over in my bed 'when was it this hard to get out of bed?' i asked i my head. Sitting up i slung my feet over the side of the bed and put in my combat boots, not bothering to check my reflection and fix anything i headed outside and downstairs to the rest of the group but what i notcied was neither Carl nor Rick were there. Everyone shot me sympathetical looks after having to listen to me cry myself to sleep last night a bowl of dry cerel was placed in front of me, i looked up to see Maggie smiling at me motherly i tried to smile back but all that happened was the sides of my lips twitched up she notcied and nodded as if saying it was ok. I grabbed the spoon and shoved some stale fruit loops into my mouth, after one or two spoon fuls i stopped suddenly losing my appetite "hey (Y/N), could you take this up to Carl he hasn't come down or eaten yet" Maggie asked handing me another bowl of stale, dry fruit loops. I nodded grabbed the bowl with little energy and slowly trudged upstairs, not being in the mood to speak i knocked on the bars "come in" a montone vice called.

I winced at the sound of how broken my boyfriend sounded, i pushed the sheet out of the way and walked into his cell. I shook my head at the clothes messily placed on the floor randomly and Carl laying face down on his bed occasionally sniffling. I put the bowl down on his bedside table and sat on his bed next to him. I swallowed some saliva and opened my mouth to speak "what do you want?" carl's voice cut in "breakfast" i replied. He lifted his head up to stare emptily at the bowl and that's when i noticed his puffy, red eyes. Carl plopped his head back down "not hungry" he said his voice slightly muffled by the pillow "are you okay?" i asked when not replied came i put my hand on his back, he jumped up and slapped my hand away "dont'. Touch. Me" he growled through gritted teeth. I pulled my hand back and stared at him offended, his gaze softened but they still held anger "talk to me Carl" i whispered reaching my hand out and placing it getnly on his cheek, he flinched at the tender touch but didn't make any move to remove my hand. Carl sighed and relaxed into my hand "the world is against me (Y/N)" he mumbled, his voice cracking i smiled gently "no it isn't, you're still here, i'm still here your dad is still here. We will keepy pushing through Carl" i encouraged.

 The tears gathered in Carl's eyes and slowly rolled down his pale face, i wiped them away with my thumbs and smiled "but...what if i lose you too?" he asked. I shook my head and looked at him sternly "the 'what if?' doesn't matter Carl...it's now that matters, you are strong and i know you wil make it with or without me" i said "without you?...i could never. And in what way am i strong?" he asked "you are strong....because you know what it's like to be weak" i recited my dad's words to him. Sniffling Carl wiped his eyes with his sleeve "ok" he mumbled "will you eat now?" i asked, he laughed lightly and nodded "you?" he asked "nah" i shook my head and got up to leave "hey (Y/N)?" he asked "hm?" i hummed turning around "why are you helping me?" he asked "multiple reasons, you're the person i hold dearest and t pains me to see you so sad, and because you helped me so it's my turn to help you now" i smiled and walked back to my cell next door. I reached into my back pack and got out a picture of me, my father and my pregnant mother smling sadly i traced my mother's stomcah and my father with my thumbs.

I laid on my side and stared at our smiling faces 'i things were still like this...i wish my family was here but...i have a new family now and if this didn't happent then i would've never met them so in some ways this apocolypse was a good thing' i shook my head and hugged the photo close and brought my knees to my chest, closing my sore eyes (from crying the previous night) enveloping myself in darkness in some way to block out the harsh reality we live in.

~Timeskip~

I rubbed my eyes and put the picture back in my bag 'i must've dozed off' i thought to myself and stood up. Walking out my cell i notcied everything was dark and everyone seemed to be asleep so i walked around for a little while until i got bored and was about to walk back into my cell when i notcied a light coming from  Carl's room, i cocked a brow in suspision and peaked through the cloth to see him reading a comic book with a falshlight "Carl?" i called he jumped and almost dropped his flashlight "what you doing?" i asked stepping in "reading" he replied putting the comic book down and turning off the flashlight. It took a little while for my eyes to adjust but they did eventualy and i succesfully made my way to the bed without kicking something, sitting next to the brunette i sighed "you're dad hasn't been the same since..." i trailed off "yeah, he needs to take a break and relax for a while" Carl replied surprisingly not affected by the slight mention of his mother, i nodded witha  yawn "tired?" he asked i nodded rubbing my eyes with my fists "come here" he said opening his arms. With no hesitation i snuggled into his arm and let him wrap them around me "sleep" he whispered pecking my temple, doing as told i closed my eyes and drifted into sleep suddenly not so afraid of life becuase he's here with me..