My life's meaning |✔️

•|5|•

Lauren Monique

I couldn't sleep well last night, disturbed by nightmares about my past. When my phone lit up, I unplugged it from the charger and checked the notifications.

Elijah
I'm at your door

Lauren
Use the key that's tucked into the doorbell, I'm upstairs.
Read 8:15am

I lay in bed trying to get comfortable but I couldn't. My feet were aching and so was my back. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I tried to fall back asleep.

Footsteps approached my bedroom door, I ignored them, continuing to cry silently.

"Are you okay, Lauren?" I heard Eli's cool, calming voice.

"My back hurts, sweat dripping from my forehead like I've been running all my goddamn life and look!" I paused, showing my feet. "My feet look like overly stuffed brown cinnamon poptarts! So no, I'm not okay!" I yelled, feeling angry.

My mood swings are at ten this morning.

Eli stood there in the doorway, staring at me blankly, then left. Great, I just pissed him off.

I sighed, got up, and went into the bathroom since my baby thinks it's fun rolling all over my bladder.

When I came back, my phone looked like it was having a seizure. My best friend, Messiah, was sending me messages left and right.

Babyface
Good morning babe!

Babyface
Get yo egg shape head up na!

Babyface
BABY! Call me!

Babyface
Ight Lauren, this lowkey important so call me

I'm really not in the mood for him and his bullshit today. I lay on my left side away from the bedroom door and FaceTime this dimwit.

"Hey babymomma," he greets me.

"Wassup," I blankly answer.

"Fix yo damn attitude, hoe! You ain't seen my sexy face in how long? You should be grateful I'm willing to speak to you. I got hoes lined up waiting to have a conversation with me and you're taking it for granted."

This guy plays all day.

"I'm not in the mood right now, Siah. What's so important that you blew up my phone?"

"Ight," he sighs, biting his lips nervously. "You know I love you, right? Like if you were to shit on yourself and needed somebody to clean you up, I'd be there with some extra soft tissue to wipe your dirty funky shitty ass and-"

"Messiah, stop stalling!"

"Okay, I was watching the news like always and they talked about Tray being released from jail around nine fifty today. I just wanted to let you know before it's too late."

It's 8:15 am!

My heart skipped a beat and it got hard for me to breathe.

"Shit," Messiah cursed himself. "I didn't mean to upset you, babe."

"How? It's too early for him to be out. He wasn't supposed to get out until after I had our baby. I don't have anywhere to go, Messiah!" I cried.

"Babe, don't cry, please don't. Every time I see you cry, I turn soft and next thing I know I'm crying along with you."

"Now isn't the time to crack jokes. This is my life on the line!"

"I'm not joking."

"I'll talk to you later, Siah. I don't feel like talking anymore."