One-Shot Book ✓

You Tear Me Apart, but Piece Me Together

Hello! I am back with another one-shot. This one and the next are for a little challenge on ARMY's Amino. They are both going to be based off of BTS songs, so I hope that you enjoy. This first one is Namgi. Let's go!

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Without even knowing, it blooms around my eyes

The words that I could not bring myself to say flow down
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Namjoon sits on the couch in his studio, his head in his hands. He lets out shaky breaths, in and out, trying to calm his racing heart. He leans back and lets his body rest on the couch. He tilts his head up so that he's staring at the ceiling. The light from the room shines down on his eyes, making the glassy sheen over them clear. He blinks, trying to make the tears fade. It doesn't work and only seems to make the tears build even more. He shakes his head as a tear trickles down his cheek. He quickly wipes them away, trying to prevent the tears from falling anymore. How is it that he always ends up here? Why is it that he's always here after words are fired at him like missiles? What makes him believe it's going to be any different from the last time? From the last time they fought. That they yelled. That they said words that left scars. Scars that Namjoon remembers.

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Although we thought that we dreamed the same dream
That dream has finally become a dream

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The first time they had argued, they had not known each other well. They were young and stupid. They said words they didn't understand. Said things that made no sense. Namjoon remembers it. The way he called him out for being weak. The way he had done the same for him. He remembers being called a wannabe and too young and too much of a nothing. He remembers saying back that he is never going anywhere and that he would never make it. He remembers hating the words he said. He remembers the words said to him hurting, but they didn't leave any injuries. They hadn't made him shed tears. Because, they didn't know each other. Because, they said things that they thought was right at the time. Because, they were boys trying to be heard. Because, they were both just trying to make it in an unkind world. That was a long time ago. A time that Namjoon remembers. Because it was one of the first times they fought.

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My heart that's stained with belated self-loathing
Becomes empty even with the passing breeze

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The next time they had argued wasn't until years later. They were too focused on debut and all that. Not to mention, they had become closer over time. They were really close. Although not extremely obvious to the outsiders' eye. Nonetheless, no matter how close you may be. You argue. You fight. And they did. One day they fought. In the practice room. In front of them all. And Namjoon felt a part of him rip. A part of him hate himself and hate him. He didn't mean to mess up. He didn't mean to be the reason for them doing the choreo again and again. Until they ached. Until his temper rose to unbelievable heights. Until it exploded in Namjoon's face. Until he was pushed against the mirror and Yoongi barked at him like a rabid dog. It was years later. He knew the right words now. He knew the words that would rip Namjoon apart. He knew the ones that would make tears stream down his face. Wrong. Messed up. Useless. Screw-up. Disappointment. Each word was a scratch. One deep enough to leave scars. Yoongi had apologized. He had taken back his words almost as instantly as he had said them. He picked Namjoon back up and reassured him that he was wrong. The two fixed things and the practice had continued.