Summer with the Pine Twins

Bottomless Pit: Part 6

(y/n)'s p.o.v.

You know how Mabel said the truth was always a good thing? Well with Grunkle Stan...It's not. The day started out normal after breakfast but while Grunkle Stan was manning the cash register a guy walked up holding an extra-large shirt and asked "Excuse me? Do you think this t-shit is my size?" "Nevermind the t-shirt, hey everybody! Look at this guy's abnormal and unattractive face!" He shouted. standing on the counter and I apologize to the guy, giving him a discount on whatever he wanted. 

Later I go into Stan's office to give a report on this morning's business and I hear muttering about doing taxes. I raise an eyebrow at him and look at the tax form which had been written all over in red bolded letters: I have committed tax fraud. 

"Uh, Grunkle Stan why did you write this?" I ask and he turns to me with a smile. "Because I regularly commit massive tax fraud, you know this," I kiss my teeth as I put the tax form in the shredder. "Might wanna tuck that one away there," That night we were all watching a comedic film when Grunkle Stan said "Sometimes I think: Is this all there is? Is life just some kind of horrific joke without a punch line? That we're all just biding our time until the sweet, sweet release of death?" I shudder in horror as Mabel rocks in anxiety and Dipper covers his face. Just why?

The next day we couldn't even go downstairs to see Grunkle Stan because we were afraid of the truth he'd give us. "Kids! I think I have a growth forming on my back! Just wanted to be honest with you guys!" Dipper throws down his pillow in anger. "I can't take it anymore Mabel, you have to take those teeth out of his mouth!" "But then he'd be a liar again," She argued and I asked her "Could it possibly any worse than this?"

We hear the doorbell ring and we run downstairs to see it was the cops. "So after further investigation, turns out there is no Dr. Medicine in Gravity Falls." "You better have a darned good explanation for this," We turn to Grunkle Stan in worry. "Oh, I do! You see I lied to you, in addition, I've been parking in handicapped spaces, shoplifting fireworks, and smuggling endangered animals across multiple state lines. Also, you're fat," Everyone's jaw drops. "Is all this true?"

 Blubs asks and I quickly run down and answer. "No, no! It's not true, right you two?" I ask, giving them a pleading look, and Dipper nods in agreement before everyone turns their attention to Mabel. "Uh...Sirs, I have to be completely and totally honest with you, our Great Uncle Stan is...Stan is...Secretly a crime fiction writer!" "What?" "Yeah! He was just telling you about a character from his upcoming page-turner: Crime Grandpa. He's never committed a crime in his life! Also...Have you lost weight?"

"Finally someone noticed..." "Wow! An author! Can you teach me how to read?" "What? Author?" "Haha, writers, masters of fiction, good night officers!" Mabel says, seeing them out the door. "Hey, you alright?" Dipper asks his sister and she puts her face in her hands.

"I can't believe I lied..." "Mabel, it was for the greater good." "Yeah...The greater good." "Guys! A little help!" I shout as I try to keep Stan from calling the police. "Hello? Police station? Yeah, I forgot to tell them about my tax fraud. No, tax fraud-" We three tackle him to the ground. "What's gotten into you kids?" He questions when Mabel rips the teeth out of his mouth. "We have to find a place to get rid of these!"

"And I never saw that box of magical teeth again...Oh wait there it is," Mabel finishes her story before pointing at the familiar box and we all groan in annoyance. "Aw sweet! My shoes," Soos exclaims when he spots them. "I liked the part with the bear, the rest seemed pretty far-fetched." Grunkle Stan said as I pointed out "Mabel we already know that story, we just lived through." "So if we're living through that story right now then how does it end?" Soos asks when Dipper nervously asks "Guys? Do you see that?" 

We all look down to see a white hole that we were approaching fast. "What is that?" "We've reached the end!" "Where are we going?!" "This doesn't look good!" We all chorused as we were thrown back into the grass. "Where- where are we?" Grunkle Stan asks as we get up and look around. "Look! The shack!" Mabel exclaims as she pointed at the Mystery Shack. "Doesn't that mean we came back out through the top?" I ask as we faced the bottomless pit. "And I don't think any time has passed," Dipper says looking at his watch. "It must be some kind of wormhole." "Yeah dude, that sounds sciencey enough to be true." "B-but that's impossible! No one will believe us!" Grunkle Stan says, leaning on the sign. "Maybe this is one story we should keep to ourselves," I say as everyone nods in agreement before the sign breaks and Grunkle Stan falls back in. "He'll be fine."