memories

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"uh...umm... I mean..." I look down she just answered my question.  I get up and so does she. I pull her to me and I feel the tears on my cheeks. The love of my life just shattered my heart. I pull back and give her a kiss on the head before turning to walk away.

I feel a small hand pull on mine and I turn back to see Ally coming to me. she stands on her tippy toes and places her hand on my cheek. instinctly my cheek nuzzles her hand. " Austin, you didn't let me answer... I will always love you." I pull away and hold her hands in mine, " but you don't love me." she looks down, " I love you like a brother, like a friend, like the father of my child and the person my heart and soul will always belong too but no I don't love you like a fiancee." I look down and go to walk away again.

" Austin please don't leave." I turn and shake my head. " I promised you I would stay the week I will be in the music room if you need anything. " sighing she finally let me leave and I broke down when I closed the door to my music room.

ALLY'S POV...

Austin is upset and I understand that. I just wish he would talk to me. you broke his heart. I'm surprised he is still here.  ugh this stupid thing is back. I hate when she shows up. honey I am always here I just come full force when you are being an idiot and doing something stupid.  " but I didn't do anything wrong." oh my gosh I am talking to myself.  " yeah yeah your crazy who cares. now back to the problem you have done something wrong. you wrong that boys heart.  " he broke mine first." really we are back in kindergarten now. listen and listen well. he may have hurt you but he always came back and tried everything to get you back. you are pushing him away when he is trying his hardest. " yeah well whatever. school starts in a week and I can go back and maybe a nice guy will like me." honey you have a kid and a crazy baby daddy. you really think that.  you need to listen to him and try to hear what he is telling you. you are killing him inside and you don't even care. " I have a wondeful kid and I just whatever I am not listening to you. you are wrong and know nothing." Okay can't do this your hopeless. I'm out.

stupid conscious think they know everything.  they know nothing.  I walk into my room and go into the closet and grab my box out I keep in a drawer.  I open it and see my engagement ring and a couple notes Austin wrote me in school. I sit in the floor and read some.

Ally,

hey baby. I wish I sat next to you. this is stupid. ooo I wanted to go out tonight.  lets have a picnic.  I already know the food. Pancakes. I love you baby hope you say yes to the date.

Love,

Your sexy popstar boyfriend Austin Moon.

p.s. you look hot today.

I remember that date. it was crazy but so much fun. we ended having a pancake fight and then Austin freaked when he realized pancakes were ruined.  he even ate a couple bites that were on me. he was so sweet then even if he had a big ego.

I pick up another and see its from right after we made love the first time.

My sweetie,

yep I'm using cute names. anyway I wanted to tell you I still can't stop thinking about that night. it was amazing and you are so beautiful. I love you with all my heart baby. I want to marry you one day and have kids with you. I want to grow old with you watching our great grandkids playing in front of us. this is not coming just from the other night. I love you and would never force you. if you were never ready I would have been okay with that.  you mean the world to me and I will protect you with everything I have . can't wait to start a future together.  opps got to go the teacher is looking at me weird.

love you baby.

you boyfriend who loves you and hopes to make you his wife

Austin Moon

I remember that too. I was feeling so happy and loved. he was soo sweet. I cried when I read the letter the first time.  I'm crying reading it now. maybe Austin isn't such a bad guy.  maybe I should have listened to him. he has always made up for hurting me. maybe he really is sorry and just made a mistake.hmm. something to think about. packing the box back up I smile and wipe my tears before heading down stairs.  I think I owe Austin an apology.

AUSTIN'S POV...

After I had my break down I decide to write how I feel.

Don't you ever say I just walked away

I will always want you

I can't live a lie, running for my life

I will always want you

I came in like a wrecking ball

I never hit so hard in love

All I wanted was to break your walls

all you ever did was wreck me

yeah, you, you wreck me

...

I never meant to start a war

I just wanted to you to let me in

And instead of using force

I guess I should've let you win

I never meant to start a war

I just wanted you to let me in

I guess I should've let you win

Don't you ever say I just walked away

I will always want you.

...

I stop singing and wipe my tears. This songs is how I am feeling. I never walked away from Ally. I will always want her. I should have let her win the fights and maybe we wouldn't be here. Me and being a stupid hot head.  I need to talk to Ally. I need to let her know that I will always love and want her but if she doesn't want us right now or ever then I will give that to her because I will do anything to make her happy. She is my baby and I will always try to make her happy. I get up and wipe my tears before turning around to go talk to Ally and apologize.

When I turn towards the door I see a beautiful girl crying. 

"Ally?"

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