Austin and Ally- Love Comes Around

I need to stop.

I look around then smile. I am having a son. I pick up the picture again and smile wide, “A son.” I look at the picture then set it down. I wipe my eyes again and turn off the light walking upstairs.

I walk into Aubrey’s room and smile at her sleeping form. She is so beautiful.  I walk over and kiss her cheek and smile. “You are so beautiful. I love you princess.” She moves a little but is still asleep. I make sure her night light is on and I crack the door as I walk out into the hallway.

I look at mine and Ally’s room and smile. I love being in the same room as her again. It is amazing and the best thing in the world. I don’t know what I ever did before we slept in the same bed together. I don’t know how I slept. When we were apart it was so hard to sleep without her next to me or in my arms.  Her letter. I still can’t believe I didn’t show up. I lean against the wall in the hallway and I take out my phone and play the first voicemail from ten in the morning. I wait a second then I hear her sweet, happy voice on the line, “Hey Austin. I hope I am not interrupting. I just wanted to say that we have an appointment today. I really want you there. I love you. Call me back.” 

I look at the phone as I delete it. I then see she called me around twelve but didn’t leave a voicemail. I then see she called around one thirty and left the last voicemail. I hit play and hear Aubrey in the background then I hear an upset Ally, “Austin, today is the day we find out the sex. I really wanted you to be here. The appointment is at two so come if you can make it. I will be gone by three.”  The line goes dead and I look at the phone as I hit delete. She tried to get me there and I never answered. I was so busy that I never heard my phone.

I sigh and look around. I can’t believe I missed this. I look to our room then Aubrey’s room. I would have given anything to be there during every step of the way with Ally when she was pregnant with Aubrey and I am missing so much with this one.  I don’t even know if my baby has started to move yet and you would think I would know that but I have been so busy at the studio. I am with Ally at school and during the week I might be home with Ally for a little bit then I go into the music room. I see them at night most of the time but Ally is tired and goes to bed.

I sit down in the hall and look between the rooms. Something I would have given everything up to be there for I am letting slip by. I would have left everything to be there for Ally when she was first pregnant and now it is like I am not even here now.  I put my head in my hands and shake my head. That’s it I need to stop this. I am not making this mistake. I am going to be there. I need to be there. No, I want to be there.  

I stand up and walk into mine and Ally’s bathroom. I passed Ally sleeping with her hand on her stomach and a blanket up to her chest. I smile as I turn on the shower and get in. After I washed my body I wash my hair and get out. I grab the towel and run it over my body and wrap it around my waist as I brush my teeth.

I walk out of the bathroom and walk into my closet and pull on a pair of boxers. I put on deodorant and walk into the bedroom. I see Ally is still asleep. Except now she has both hands on her slightly swollen stomach and her hair is sprawled out on her pillow. I smile as I lift the comforter up and crawl under and curl under the warm sheets. I look over to Ally and she looks so cute. I love this girl more and more every day. I would do anything for her. So why do I keep hurting her and letting her down?

Sighing I roll over and put my hand on her stomach. I smile at the feel of her belly under my hand. I lay it there for a second and feel no movement. I smile as I roll back over, Maybe the baby hasn’t moved yet. I read somewhere that happens between the 16th and 25th weeks. Ally is like around 16 now. Maybe I haven’t missed it. I smile as I look up at the ceiling thinking about how I am having a son.

Oh what are we going to name him? Will he look more like me or Ally? Will he take after me or Ally? Will he want to play sports? Will he know how to dance? I look over at Ally and smile. Whatever he turns out to be like, he is going to be amazing like his sister. He is going to have a family who loves him.

I start to fall asleep when I open my eyes because I swear I hear Aubrey. I look over to Ally and see she is sound asleep. I sit up some waiting to see if I am imagining things.  I look over at my phone and see it is one in the morning.  I am about to lay back down when I hear the noise again. I get up and quietly walk out of the bedroom.

I walk into the hallway and wait for a minute. Then I hear it again. It’s Aubrey. I walk into her room and see her moving around and mumbling in her sleep. I pick her up and she starts to get louder. “Aubrey sweetie.” She moves around, “Princess.” I go sit in the chair in her room and kiss her, “Aubrey sweetie.” She opens her eyes and looks around scared.  Then she looks at me and starts crying as she puts her arms around me. “Oh sweetie, what’s wrong?” She pulls back, “You left.” I look at her then shake my head, “I’m right here baby. I’m not going anywhere.” She shakes her head, “No, you left over br…Brather.” I look at her then I smile, “Aubrey honey. I love you and your mommy very much and I will love your brother just as much. I am not going anywhere.” She smiles a little. “Prwmise.” I nod, “I promise. You’re stuck with me.” She giggles a little and wraps her arms around me.

I smile and pull her back, “Now how about I sing to you until you fall asleep?” She nods and I start to sing her a lullaby. I look down as I finish it and see her asleep in my arms. I smile and kiss her forehead before standing up and walking over to her crib and putting her in the bed.

I watch her sleep for a minute and walk out cracking the door. I slowly make my way back into my room. I see Ally still asleep with her hands on her belly. The site really makes me smile. I walk over to my phone and open my camera. I walk back to the end of our bed and snap the picture. I look down at it smiling. I walk over to my side and set my phone on the table.  I lift the covers and crawl back into bed slowly.

I look over at Ally and smile. I lean over and kiss her cheek then I kiss her belly. I lean back on my pillow and let the warmness of the bed take over. I start to feel my eyes get heavy and I smile as I imagine my new life to come.

Okay guys, I really need you guys to hang in there with me. I did not know but it is finals week next week. I am not ready for this. It just snuck up. I do not know how much I can write. I need certain grades in three classes to pass them and I do not want to pay the money again to take them over.
I need to study like crazy and binge study even more.
I'm sorry but I am almost done then I can write all I want and please, which will be a lot. So please just hang in there with me. MY last day is May 8th. After that I am all yours until September.
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