what's a soulmate? | wolfstar & jily

Chapter One Hundred Forty Three

shed

"Anything you need?", Sirius asked, as James and Peter set Remus down on the bed. Remus shook his head, his joints aching, "You didn't sign up for this.", he mumbled. 

Sirius looked confused, opening and closing his mouth. A look of realization dawned on him, and he set his mouth in a firm line. 

"Stop it, Remus. I signed up for you, and that's all of you, okay?", he asked.

"Okay.", Remus said thickly, "Okay."

"Good.", James clapped his hands quickly, "Now, Moony, Peter and I need to play our final of exploding snap. You're our judge, alright?"

"Peter's going to win.", Remus yawned, "I already know it."

"What?", James asked, his face a mirror of mock outrage, "How could you say this? I thought we had something, Moonykins.", he said, in a perfect impression of Sirius.

Sirius pouted, blurring into Padfoot, and bounding on to James, licking the side of his face. "Get off, you git!", he laughed, his dimples prominent as slobber dripped off his face. 

Padfoot tilted his head, ever the picture of innocent. "I'll get you dewormed.", James threatened, laughing as Padfoot jumped on him again, "I'll write Mum!", he yelled.

A silence fell throughout the shed, Remus and Peter shared a look. Padfoot let out a soft whine, before transforming back into Sirius, who looked at James sadly.

"I only meant.", James clenched his jaw tightly, trying to fight the tears in his eyes, "I forgot."

"James-"

"Forget it.", James snapped, "Please, please forget it."

"It's okay to cry, Prongs-"

"Transform. Now.", Remus groaned, his face screwed up in pain. Sirius was at his side in an instant, kissing his cheek, before backing away and blurring into Padfoot, James and Peter doing the same.

the next morning

"Not his fault.."

"....we have to tell him"

"I'm okay, really..."

"... last time"

"... not too bad, I'll be okay."

Remus woke up to these hushed whispers around him, and he winced at the sunlight streaming in. "Everyone okay?", he croaked. There was a silence, a horrible silence, and Remus knew. 

His eyes popped open as he got up, ignoring the cracking of his bones and Sirius' weak protests. "Blood.", he said weakly, "Did I hurt you?", he asked, his voice cracking as he looked at Sirius, who shook his head. 

"Remus, you didn't know.", Sirius started

"It wasn't your fault.", Peter echoed. 

"James? Where's James?", Remus asked, panic entering his voice. "You have to promise not to freak out.", Sirius said, locking his eyes with Remus'. 

Remus nodded, though he didn't know if he would be able to keep it. "The wolf got out last night.", Sirius said quickly. Remus felt like the breath had been knocked out of him. "No.", he choked out.

"The charms, it stopped the wolf from getting out too close, but one of the charms fell. We- we had to get the wolf back inside, and James got hurt. He's in the flat, Lily's making sure he's okay.", Peter said, wringing his hands. 

"Stop calling it the wolf.", Remus said thickly, his voice loud. "It's me. I'm a fucking Dark creature who's hurt my best friend."

Sirius opened his mouth, "And don't tell me it's not my fucking fault.", Remus spat, forcing himself to not look at the hurt on Sirius' face.