what's a soulmate? | wolfstar & jily

Chapter Fifty Nine

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dorm

Remus hates me. I fucked up with him. It's all my fault. 

Sirius Black was drunk, again. 

Sirius groaned as he felt a pain shoot up in his head. He stood up, wobbling to the bathroom. 

"I'm really wallowing in my own self pity. Just stop.", Sirius muttered. He stared at his reflection in the mirror, grimacing. 

"I messed up.", Sirius said, letting out a choked sob as he sat on the ground, leaning against the door. 

Sirius stared at the ground. James' razor was on the ground, within inches of his hands. Sirius looked at it for a solid minute and then shook his head. 

"You can't do that to James again.", he muttered. 

Sirius heard knocking on the door, and James stepped through. "Sirius?", he asked, looking at the boy sitting on the ground. 

He handed him the sober up potion wordlessly, helping him up.

James eyed the razor on the ground, and then looked back up at Sirius. "Fuck-- I left it out. I'm so sorry, Padfoot, did you--", he asked, in a rush, as Sirius drank the potion. 

"No, I didn't-- I wasn't going to. That was a long time ago, mate. It won't happen again.", Sirius said sincerely. 

James nodded, relieved. 

"He hates me, doesn't he?", Sirius croaked up at him. "Nah, he doesn't.", James said, waving a nonchalant hand. 

library

"Do you understand now?", Remus asked kindly, pointing to a line in his textbook. "I do, actually, Thank you so much!", Max said, looking up at Remus.

Remus stood up. "Actually, can I talk to you about something?", Max asked nervously.

Remus nodded. "Er-- do you maybe want to-- do you want to go out with me?", Max asked, everything coming out in a ramble.

"Max, I- I'm really sorry.", Remus said awkwardly. Max's face fell. "Oh.", he said softly. "Look, you're a great guy, but-- I don't have feelings for you.", he said. "You're still in love with Sirius, aren't you?", Max asked gruffly.

"I don't-- I don't know.", Remus admitted. "You're too good for him. He's so-- unruly, and you're you. He's a scumbag and a player, and he probably cheated on you. That's why you broke up with him, wasn't it?", Max asked nosily.

Remus pulled his wand out. "Don't say that.", he said, his voice dangerously low. "You don't agree?", Max asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Leave.", Remus growled. "I didn't mean-", Max tried, before picking his books up and walking away.

Remus sighed as he picked up his book, beginning to walk back.

I still have feelings for Sirius. 

He lied to you.

He did it to protect his brother. 

Remus heard a loud voice that shook him out of his thoughts. 

 "Remus! Moony, come to the common room! It's an emergency!", Peter yelled, running towards him.

"Pete? What happened?", Remus asked, his heart speeding up.

Peter began running back to the common room, and Remus followed him.