what's a soulmate? | wolfstar & jily

Chapter Fifty Seven

hogwarts grounds

As much the boys didn't want to admit, a piece of them was missing without Sirius. They threw the Snitch around, diving for it occasionally.

"James. Regulus is coming towards us.", Peter hissed, letting the Snitch fly out of his grip.

James looked at Regulus confusedly. "Sirius isn't here.", he said coldly. "Actually, that's what I'm here to talk to you about.", Regulus said nervously.

"Meet me in the passage behind the one-eyed witch.", he whispered.

passage

"What do you want to talk to us about?", James asked, tapping his foot. Regulus stared at them. unsure how to start.

"I know what happened.", he said quietly. "Bragged about it to you, did he?", Remus spat.

"No! Will you just listen?", he asked exasperatedly.

"This wasn't Sirius' fault. It was mine. I told Severus how to get in.", Regulus admitted. "You WHAT?", James snarled.

"I'm sorry.", Regulus said pitifully, "Sirius already beat me up.", he said, scooting away from. "I should hex you.", James spat.

"I know. I'm sorry. I just-- Sirius was trying to protect me. I'd have been expelled, because of the Mark.", Regulus stammered.

"Sirius-- of course he did. He wants to protect everyone, no matter what.", Peter said quietly, as he watched Regulus leave.

Remus was quiet. "Moony?", James asked.

"We need to find him.", Remus said, paling.

room of requirement

Sirius woke up, his head spinning. He saw a flash of red hair, rubbing his eyes.

"Lily?", he rasped. "Sirius.", Lily said softly.

"Who did it, Sirius, if it wasn't you?", she asked. Flashes of last night came to Sirius, and he paled.

"I was drunk. I didn't mean any of it. I- I did it. No one else.", he stammered. Lily stared at him perceptively.

"Tell the truth, Sirius.", Lily sighed. Sirius made a sound in the back of his throat. "I think I'm going to be sick.", he said, retching all over the floor. Lily waved her wand, cleaning it all up.

"You okay?", she asked. Sirius nodded

"Regulus.", Sirius whispered, closing his eyes tightly, "Don't tell them. I'd rather have them hate me, as much as I can't take it, Regulus-- if he gets expelled, Walburga will kill him.".

There was knocking on the door, until it was open.

"Lily?", James asked. Lily nodded, still looking at Sirius.

Sirius looked down at the ground, not daring to make a move. "Regulus just told us.", Peter whispered.

"He what?", Sirius asked, his voice cracking. He looked up at them, making eye contact with James, who nodded.

James moved closer to Sirius, who flinched and took a step backwards. "I'm not going to hurt you.", James said, genuine hurt in his voice.

"I can't-- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.", Sirius said. James pulled Sirius into a tight hug. "I should've known you would've never done something like that.", he said gruffly. Sirius let out a choked sob. "Do you hate me?", he choked out. James shook his head quickly, "Merlin, no."

Sirius nodded, wiping his nose. Peter hugged Sirius. "I'm sorry, Sirius.", he said softly. "It's okay, Peter.", he whispered, "I'm not mad-- I understand.".

Remus looked at him, before hugging him tightly. "You're not a freak, Sirius.", Remus said thickly. Sirius stared at him, reaching up to kiss him on the cheek. Remus stepped back warily. "Er-- I don't think that's a good idea.", Remus said awkwardly. Sirius' face dropped. "Oh.", he said.

James, Peter and Lily stared at them, not knowing what to say. "C'mon, Sirius, we're taking you back to the dorms.", James said, giving him a small smile.

"You're not going to beat the living daylights out of me again, are you?", Sirius asked, laughing dryly.

"One time thing only.", James said, laughing.

"We missed you.", Remus said softly, "Happy Christmas.", he said.

"Happy Christmas, lo--Remus.", Sirius said, with some difficulty.

common room

"Sirius?", Marlene asked. "Missed me?", Sirius smirked, wincing at his aching side.

"Git.", Marlene said fondly. Sirius gave her the finger before following the rest of the boys up to the dorm.

He breathed in the familiar scent, sighing. "I missed this place.", he said fondly. "Yeah, sorry about the whole kicking you out thing.", James said sheepishly.

"Past is in the past.", Sirius said, waving a flippant hand.

Sirius flopped onto his bed, closing his eyes. "Why is there a melted chocolate frog on my bed?", Sirius groaned with disgust.

"Oops.", Peter laughed. "And where are my clothes? God, I leave for two weeks.", Sirius said sarcastically.

"Well, someone missed you.", James said, raising an eyebrow towards Remus, who flushed, and threw Sirius' shirt at him. Sirius smiled softly.

"I'm sorry.", Sirius said again. "It's okay, you were trying to protect Regulus.", James said quietly, "We don't blame you.", Peter said.

"I hate myself for leaving you. You were having a panic attack and-- I just left.", James said, his voice cracking on the last word. Sirius shook his head, "Snape was going to-- you saved his life, Prongs, that's more important.", he said.

James nodded slowly. "We should probably study.", Remus interrupted gruffly.

Peter nodded, "Yeah. NEWTS.", he said. "Are you mad at me?", Sirius whispered, on their way to the library.

"No, just-- you couldn't even tell me, Sirius?", Remus whispered back, "I thought you loved me.".

Remus walked away, following James and Peter. "I do.", Sirius whispered.