Every New Beginning... (Chris Evans AU)

.122.

  The doctor walked out of the room, still having given very little information outside of destroying Opal's heart with just the one sentence. 

 'By the looks of it, he's nearing the end,' the words blaring through Opal's mind. 

  "Why didn't he tell me?" she whimpers towards Chris, who is still standing near the doorway. He's unsure of whether to go to her or not. 

  His heart is continuously breaking for Opal. Every step bringing a little more information that is tearing away at her bit by bit. And there's nothing he can do to fix it. 

  Still sitting in the chair, Opal falls forward, resting her arms on her knees with her face distraught as her hands hold her head. Her cries no longer soft, quiet but loud and angry. Chris can't handle it any longer, moving quickly to her, grabbing her arms he pulls her out of the seat. Holding her tightly he lets her cry but after only a moment her anger overcomes her and she pushes him away.

  "How could you keep this from me?" she yells at the man laying lifeless in the bed. Her body lunges towards him, frustration apparent on her features. "It's you and me, old man! Do you not remember that?"

  Chris is quick to move, thankful for the reflexes he's perfected with his job. He wraps one around her waist, the other across her chest up to her shoulder. She fights against him, her body just as irritated as her words. "No!" she cries out. "You can't leave me! You can't, he can't," she sputters out through her sobs, her body finally too exhausted to fight against the grip Chris has on her. She gives in, relaxing against his chest, gripping his arm.

  "Shhh, shhh, shhh," he whispers against her ear, squeezing her tightly in an effort to keep her upright just as much as offer her comfort. 

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Chris POV

  I've seen several sides of Opal by now.

 I've seen the anxiety ridden woman. The attack that overtook her body that night at the Inn when Pops went into the hospital with difficulty breathing.

 The insecure woman.  The woman who questioned my motives with her after seeing an ex-girlfriend.

 The sassy woman who gave me a run for my money that weekend of Lily and Jameson's wedding.

 The confident woman who performed on Broadway. 

 The strong woman who helped nurse me back to health after being shot.

 The fighter who has overcome her own injuries and illness. The fighter who has spent her life looking for self worth after being abandoned. 

  But this woman wrapped in my arms, is someone I've not experienced before now.

  This is similar to what I've experienced on calls when someone finds out their loved one has passed. 

  "Shhh, shhh, shhh," I quietly give her assurance, her grip getting even stronger over my arm. 

  I hold her against me as I back up further from the hospital bed. Glancing behind me I line myself up to the chair before sitting down, bringing her along with me to rest in my lap. 

  She tries to speak but no actual words come out as she continues to sob. I move one hand to run through her hair, over and over again. "It's okay, baby." She turns slightly, moving her face to rest in the crook of my neck. I hold her as close to me as humanly possible, as tightly as I know she can handle. "Let it out, love. Just let it out."

  And she does.

  Just when I think she's beginning to relax in my arms her body will tense and a fresh round of weeping begins. This continues over the course of an hour, nothing but the sound of weeping and machines beeping. 

  A nurse enters the room tentatively, looking over the machines and fluids that are attached through out his body. When she seems content with her findings she glances at me, a sleeping Opal against my chest. 

  "Is she alright? I can get her something if necessary," she mentions. 

  "I'd hate to wake her to find out," I tell her honestly. "We're alright for now."

  She leaves the room, closing the door behind her. I shift a bit in my seat, carefully, before pulling my cell from my pocket. The ringer having been off I hadn't noticed several missed calls and text from my mother.

  Too afraid to wake Opal, I start a text message.

Me- it's not good. He hadn't told Opal, but he has stage 4 lung cancer, and the doctor told her he believes he's near the end.

  Almost immediately I see the flashing dots, knowing she's already working on responding back to me.

Ma- He didn't tell her? He told me he was going to.

  Confusion fills me as my eyes narrow and my brow creases.

Me- wait a second. You knew?

Ma- this is a conversation better to have over the phone, not through a text. Call me.

  I'm seething with anger, my hand gripping the phone tighter.

Me- I can't now. I'll call when I can.

  I toss the phone into the seat next to me before pulling it around to sit in front of me. Gingerly I lift my legs up into the chair, trying to stretch a bit but still keep Opal comfortable. 

  I rest my head against hers, closing my eyes, praying I misread Ma's message.

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  "You've got to be kidding me, Ma!" I yell into the phone later that night. 

  I realize I'm getting strange looks from people entering and exiting the hospital so I move a bit further down the sidewalk. I'd left Opal with Lily and Rae, telling them I needed to check in with things at the station.

  "Baby, I think you know that I'm not. You just don't want to think about it."

  I grip the bridge of my nose, and grit my teeth. "She's going to resent you if she ever finds out that you knew. You know that, right?"

  "There's no reason for her to know that I knew, Chris." She takes a deep breath. "Remember when I took him to his treatments while she was in the hospital? Well, one of those days was for the PET scan. I took him home that evening from the hospital and there was a message on his machine. He asked me to stay while he called them back."

  "I can't believe this," I chuckle out, shaking my head. 

  "Christopher, you listen to me! I told him he needed to tell her and he said he would once she was healed. I asked him the day of your engagement if he had told her and he said he was working on it. He was so afraid of ruining her day that he couldn't do it."

  "Ma, that was just a couple weeks ago. He could've, you could've," I stumble over my words, "someone could've said something by now!"

  "Well son, they didn't. And here we are. She knows now, and that's what matters."

  "No, it's not. You don't get it. He's known for months. He's taken time from her that she can't get back. This is going to set her back, Ma!"

  "Then I guess you'll have to piece her back together again," she sighs. "You've done it before, Chris. I know you can do it again."

  "I, I have to go. I can't do this," I hang up the phone without saying goodbye.