Every New Beginning... (Chris Evans AU)

.162.

 *Shorter...sorry.  **Grab some tissues...even I cried.

 Opal POV

  "And how did that make you feel?"

  I roll my eyes at the older man, Dr. Maxwell, sitting across from me. His beady eyes narrowing behind his tiny round glasses as he stares at the notebook in his lap. The pen in his hand gently tapping against the yellow notepad, driving me insane. 

  "No offense, but I'm really not interested in pouring out my heart to you," I tell him. "I can tell you all the life history you want to hear, but I don't open up easily to even those I'm closest to. This is ultimately a waste of time for both of us."

  He sets the notepad and his pen off to the table beside him before scooting to the edge of his seat. His hands clasped in front of him as he leans closer towards me. "Then let me make this one suggestion and you can do with it what you want." 

  "Go ahead," I sigh, just longing to leave the stuffy office.

  "Your friend made this appointment for you, yes?" I nod in agreement as I silently curse Rae. "You've recently suffered a great loss?" Again, I nod, thinking about the fact that it was more than just one loss. "You said so yourself, you don't let people in easily?" 

  "Yes, yes and yes, okay. You're telling me nothing I don't already know." I reach for my purse and begin to stand. The therapist holds his hand out, beckoning me to sit back down. 

  He slips his glasses off, placing them on top of the notepad. "Have you ever confronted the man who caused your childhood trauma?"

  I nod my head. "Yes."

  "Tell me about that experience."

  With a deep breath I tell him of the day of the funeral. My father showing up, acting as though nothing happened all those years ago, and then digging his knife into my heart a little deeper with his goodbye. 

  "And you think your exchange was you confronting him?" he asks. 

  "I mean, I told him to leave my establishment. He tried to tell me he didn't understand what the problem was. I told him again to leave because it was my right as owner to request it." I think back further to that day, the  memories causing my chest to clench. I take a moment to feel the memories, only causing me to begin to tear up again. "He, um, he used the nickname my grandfather gave me. I told him he wasn't allowed to. That it was only to be used by the person who took care of me when he left me broken. I reminded him that I had begged him to stay all those years ago, but now I was telling him to leave me." My eyes are completely clouded over now, my chest beginning to shake. "Then, he asked me how it felt."

  "How what felt, Opal?"

  "For everyone to leave me," I sob, doubling over, my head in my hands. "Then he said he had a family to get back to." My breath shudders. "I thought I was his family."

  I see through blurry eyes, he's handing me a box of tissues. "Did you ever think your grandparents were going to leave you, the same way your father did?"

  "No," I whisper through shaking lips. "They never made me feel that way. I knew as I got older that inevitably they'd leave but it would be through death. I knew that. But when Pops passed," I pause, letting myself feel the pain again, "I realized, well thought anyways, that if I pushed someone away before they decided to leave me, that I'd be able to handle it better."

  Dr. Maxwell cocks his head to the side, a very tiny grin becoming evident. "How is that working out for you?" 

  I actually let out a laugh amidst my sobs. "Well, I'm sitting here, so..."

  "What do you think is the next step, Opal?"

  I wipe at my eyes, thankful I didn't wear make up today considering I didn't know where Rae was taking me. "Isn't that your job, Doc? Telling me what to do?"

  "What do you think would help you most? Me telling you what to do, or listening to what you want to do?"

  "Honestly, at this point I don't even know how to answer that question," I answer, feeling defeated. 

  He nods with a small clap of his hands. "That's a pretty normal response, Opal. So, I want to give you some homework." He picks up his glasses, pen and notepad once more. "Assuming you're willing to do it?"

  I take a deep breath, knowing that the next words out of my mouth will put me on the path to the rest of my life. "Yes, I'll do it."

Flashback

  "Because I love you!" Opal yells into the phone.

  "Then why are you doing this to me?" Chris matches her tone, his voice strained. "I want to give you the world and instead you push me away. I try to be your friend, to give you space, which I thought we were doing okay with, but then you ask my friend to set me up! I don't deserve this, Ope. I don't!"

   "You're right, Chris. You don't deserve this, any of this. You don't deserve to have to deal with me," she sobs. "That's why I asked Spencer to set you up. I hoped you'd fall just as easily with someone new like you did with me."

  This time his hand doesn't hit the granite counter top. Instead a glass meets the wall, shattering as water trickles down the beige paint. "Damn it, Opal! What do I have to do to get you to understand that something like you and I just doesn't happen every day?"

  Opal can barely speak through her own tears as she hears the anger in Chris' voice. "Because!"

  "That's not an answer, Opal. You're not six years old. Because isn't an answer," he says gruffly.

  "Because I have to believe that there is someone out there better for you!"

  "I can't keep doing this, Ope. I can't," he sighs, worn out from the back and forth. "I tell you that you're it for me, and all you say is I'm better off without you. I tell you I love you and you hear  that you're not enough."

  "I'm sorry," she whines through her cries. "I only want what's best for you, Chris."

  Chris grits his teeth, blinking back his own tears as his heart shatters, realizing what he now has to do. "Promise or no promise," he says quietly, "I'm done."

  Opal jerks towards the phone that sits in the seat beside her. "What promise?"

  "Doesn't matter now, does it?" His lip quivers as he musters all the courage he can to follow through with what needs to be done. "I'm gonna give you what you want."

  "What?"

 "I can't keep pulling you back when all you're doing is running in the opposite direction," he says, his voice shaking. 

  "Chris..."

  "Have a nice life, Shirley." 

  And the line goes silent. Opal sits, staring at the darkened screen of the phone before reaching over. She finally notices the shaking of her hand and the quickness of her breathing, her heart pounding. 

  The driver side door swings open, Rae climbing in, witnessing Opal's state. "Ope," she whispers. 

  Opal meets her gaze before crumbling again. "It's really over," she weeps.