R A N D O M || OS

31. (MCU) Helmut Zemo - In The Dead Of Night

https://dyhayc.tumblr.com/

Pairing: Helmut Zemo x f!Reader (Hurt/Comfort - Angst in the beginning, fluff at the end)

Summary: The reader, a retired and cold-hearted Avenger, apologizes to Zemo for Sokovia after years of holding onto her guilt.

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: Sad monologue, slight suicidal ideals, cancer, dead parent, some swearing, the Avengers being apathetic

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'What am I doing here?'

The minutes slowly turn to hours as she sits staring straight ahead, glass in hand forgotten. The cool kitchen counter and water were warmed a long time ago by her body heat. The silence is threatening, her once steely and resolute composure fading to one of sadness and longing. The darkness allows her to see old memories more clearly, old memories that were a threat to her happiness.

'A distraction,' she thinks desperately, 'I need an escape.' But the only thing that comes to her head is a happier time, a time before the Avengers. When she'd spend her days complaining about minor things, like what was for dinner that evening or her mother's choice of music. She didn't realize how important those moments, meals, and songs would be to her now. A soft sigh leaves her lips. 'Maybe once. Just once, I can indulge myself in the dead of night.'

In another room, Zemo swiftly slipped off his coat, hanging it up delicately as if it were a piece of art. Of course, the coat could genuinely be considered an artwork with how much he'd spent on it. He gently rubbed his temple as he continued with his nightly routine; maybe he should have lightened up on the drinking today. Oh well, what's life without a bit of fun?

Deciding it would be best to have some water at least, he quietly opened the door and turned his head to the side to check if anyone was around. The only thing out of the ordinary was Y/N's door which was slightly cracked open down the hall. Swiftly walking over, Zemo was about to knock on the wood when he hears a woman's voice whispering from the kitchen. As he creeps closer and closer, he's able to listen to the words she's singing.

"May your tears come from laughing, you find friends worth having. With every year passing, they mean more than gold." Her voice was strained and impossibly quiet, holding back emotion. But, to him, it was much more alluring that way. Such a display of feelings from her was unheard of. Even when she was with the Avengers, she was detached and distant.

He decided to stay in the shadows and listen. Perhaps he should have stepped out, but something inside told him to wait and just watch what was happening. After all, Y/N was an intriguing woman. Years ago, when Zemo researched the Avengers, she was the most fascinating to learn about. Most of her life was so secretive and elusive even he had trouble finding information about her.

He didn't necessarily even need to know about Y/N. After all, she was retired and suffering from an almost fatal spinal cord injury (which meant she was no threat to him or his plan). And yet, there was always something about her that pulled him closer. Sadly, since her arrival in the "team," Zemo had no chance to ever be alone in a room with her. It was almost like James and Sam didn't trust him: an escaped convicted felon, criminal mastermind, and terrorist. Almost.

Y/N's volume increases as the song progresses. Never above a soft tone, but certainly louder than the whisper before. Her emotions begin to bubble to the surface with every passing word until she's tearing up, struggling to get the lyrics out as smoothly as she had before. Tears gently roll down her cheeks as she sings the last chorus. The lines, "wherever you fly, this isn't goodbye," feel like a stab to the heart and send a deep pang in her chest. As she sings the last word, "alone," her voice drops to a whisper, then silence.