The Rising Star - Alexia Putellas

Part 14

Camp was not going the way that I thought it was gonna go. I thought I could hide from my troubles here, that I could leave them over in England. Guess I was wrong.

Kristie and I haven't talked since the incident, Jacob keeps reminding me that he's keeping a close eye on me, definitely now that I'm reunited with Sonnet. He's always been jealous of the relationship that I have with the blonde. Sonnet and I are just best friends but I get why people talk about our friendship a lot. We're both flirty people by nature and like to mess with one other. Apparently that makes people think that we're in a relationship. So now not only did I lose my best friend, I'm about to lose the other one too cause just like I pushed Kristie away before camp, I'm doing the same with the rest of the team.

On top of that the media is putting a lot of pressure on me, watching my every move. Will Jill take a chance on the kid or not? Will she make it or break under pressure? Will she be able to withstand the pressure that comes along with a high paced tournament? Will she be the reason the US will fail to win their fourth star or will she be the reason they win it? Those were just some of the questions I had read but slowly but surely I was breaking.

The past week we've worked pretty hard to get ourselves ready for the upcoming game in two days against Germany for the first She Believes Cup match. Tomorrow we will travel to Columbus but before that we had our last training session today and let me tell you nothing was working for me. Every pass, every shot on goal was just horrible.

"Eleanore, come on! You can do better than this!" I hear Jill yell at me. She's right, I can be better and I should but for some reason it's just not working out for me this past week.

Currently we were nearing the end of the session and we were doing a scrimmage. 11 vs 11. Ash had the ball and passed it to Becky who then passed it on to me. There was no one surrounding me and it wasn't such a hard pass to control but I barely managed.

"Come on, control it and go!" I heard Dawn yell.

I took the ball up field only to come face to face with Kelley. I tried to get past her, but I couldn't so I decided to pass the ball but my pass landed right in Sam's feet. I threw my head back in frustration.

"Keep your head in the game Eleanore!" Alex yelled. "That was a crappy pass!"

"Don't you think I know that!" I snapped at our number thirteen.

"Hey, I didn't mean it like that." Her face immediately softened but I wasn't having any of it.

A little while later, the scrimmage as well as our session ended. It was clear for everyone that I was incredibly frustrated. Deep down I knew that they only meant well with what they had said during training but I couldn't help myself and was pissed off about it. To make matters worse both Jill and Dawn called me over. I just wanted to be left alone for a while.

"What was that down there? Your play was bad, your passes were messy and your shots were terrible." Jill started.

"Yeah, I know." I replied, annoyed.

"What's going on with you? I know there must be something because you are better than this." That made me snap. I don't know why but that just pushed me to that breaking point that was bound to happen.

"HA yeah, cause everybody expects me to be this exceptional player. Well guess the world's right and you're wrong! I'm not this exceptional player and you just made the biggest damn mistake of your whole damn career!" I snapped. I finally snapped and now that I started there was no going back.

"Hey, calm down. It's okay, we just want to help you." Dawn tried to calm me down by putting her hand on my arm. Clearly it wasn't working cause I shrugged it off.