Shadowhunter imagines and preferences

Jace*Happiness

Jace Herondale. Greatest Shadowhunter of his time, parabiti of Alec Lightwood, and my ex. Everything in our relationship was fine, perfect even until 6 months ago when we broke up.

Things in the shadowworld picked up as Clary Fray entered it. There was less time for us to hang out. I think that's one of the reasons we started to break.

Rumours fly quickly and despite the fact I'm, not a Shadowhunter I hear their rumours too. Only slightly later. Jace and Clary were apparently very close very quickly. I ignored the rumours but to this day I still wonder if he waited till after we broke up.

It was only 2 weeks after we broke up that he and Clary were going on dates. 3 weeks and they were official. How could it be so easy for him to forget me? Forget what we had. I can't help but wonder if it was real, or as intense as I once thought it was.

I mean when you're in a long-term relationship and then break up, it should sting. But he seemed completely fine.

I had no reason to talk to any shadowhunters after the breakup. I didn't have nights out with Izzy nor complain about Jace with Alec. They were his siblings, not mine. Even they seem to forget me.

It's not like we were best friends but still. I talked to Izzy a little after the breakup but I haven't spoken to either of them in 5 months. Maybe more, I cant remember.

Jace used to call me every night when we were together. He had to stay at the institute. Sometimes we'd fall asleep while on the phone. A lot of the time he wouldn't hang up if I fell asleep first saying, this way I can still hear your safe.

The night after the breakup I still waited for his call but it didn't come. That was when I realised it was really over.

Did he do that with Clary? Or because they were in the same place did they share the same bed?

I try not to think about it but I do. It's her he'll cuddle when he's sad. It's her he'll phone when he's in trouble, again. It's her he'll kiss, not me.

When we broke up it was amicable. I wish we broke up fighting and screaming. That way I'd be able to hate him, but no. Instead, I love him.

When it ended he said I was more of a friend to him. That when we got together we worked so well because it was like hanging out with one of his buddy's.

Friend. The word stings.

Though I can't help but wonder about him, think of his safety. Part of that is his mind. To love is to destroy. He never admits it but Jace didn't admit that he thought he shouldn't be loved.

When he found out about Valentines and his relationship he thought he wasn't worthy of it. Maybe that's why he and Clary work. Because she loves him but he doesn't love himself.

He jumped into another relationship after us with Clary. Was he too scared to be alone? I don't know but if he was he knew he could call me, despite everything. Instead, he ran to her.

Jace was always in danger because of his line of work. It was their nature. What happens when the battles get more intense? Speaking logically one of his friends, family, will die young and I fear for that.

I want him to be happy. I don't want him to be sad or suffer despite everything. But now its changed. Now if he had the choice to save myself or Clary I know his choice. I might have well picked out my gravestone.

Its hard to say but I don't want him back. I don't want to break them up. He's happy, that's the important thing. Loves a bitch. It makes his happiness more important than mine, so I stay out of it. I don't want him to suffer so if being with Clary makes him happy, then good for them.

That doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt. I still can't get over the idea that I'll never have that kind of love again.

At least I'm, not a Shadowhunter, I think to myself. And I never really have to work with them so I won't see him and reopen the wound.

My friends try and cheer me up which I'm grateful for but sometimes its like they pity me. Jordan Kyle is a close friend of mine who's recently returned to New York. At least when I hang out with him he doesn't patronise me. He doesn't even know about Jace.

"Ready to go?" His voice snaps me from my thoughts.

"Yup," I grin, popping the p as I stand from the park bench I had been waiting for him on. "Where we going?"

"Just some downworlder café." He shrugged. "Hows life?"

"Same old same old."

As we approach the café we were too deep in conversation I don't realise the person staring at me from the café.

The door opened as we approach and outstepped a group of shadowhunters. Alec walked with his new boyfriend, I'm glad he found someone. Izzy walked out as confident as always. The two Lightwoods saw me and gave a light smile and nod. Standard greeting for acquaintances.

Jace was holding the door for a short redhead. Clary. He had a smile on his face until he looked up and saw me. "(Y/N)." He greeted.

"Jace."

He held the door open for Jordan and I. No other words were exchanged but Clary and Jordan both had a slightly confused face on.

"Who's he?" Jordan asked, sitting down in a both.

I slid in across from him "An old friend." He raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

Jace's POV

"Who was that?" Clary asked as I placed my arm around her shoulder.

I shook my head slightly "No one. They helped us with a mission a little while back." She nodded and dropped it.

Alec and Izzy both sent me a look. It didn't matter. We were over and (Y/N) seemed happy. That's all that mattered.