Can't Keep My Head Up

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Requested :)

...

I sink down on the bed, burying my face deep in the pillows. Life kind of sucks sometimes. Or all the time. 

"Hey, Kid, dinner is ready,"  Sam yells from down the hall.  I groan and push myself up from the bed and trudge out of my room. I ruffle my hair and wipe my eyes, trying to push the tears out of them. 

"Hi!" Some of the Avengers say as I reach the dining room.  I give them a small smile and sit down on the chair. I bite my lip and put a small amount of food on my plate, nibbling on some of it. The others talk like normal, but I notice a few eyes on me. 

...

After dinner, I return to my room as soon as possible.  I sink back into my bed shoving my face back into the pillows. It seems as if I am drowning and can barely keep my head above water. It seems like there is not enough time in the day to get everything done. It seems like no matter how hard I try I always fail. 

Tears slip out of my eyes and I try quickly stop them. Don't be weak. Don't be weak. I repeat to myself, smashing face even farther into the pillows. 

The girl on the streets haunts my vision, the way her eyes looked when she saw her mom being shot. The way she ran over to her sobbing, and the way she stared at me pleading for me to save her. 

I was to slow to stop the shot, and I was too slow to take down the guy. I chased him four almost an hour, but he seemed to disappear into thin air. I am the reason that she is not happy with her daughter right now but instead buried under dirt in a small wooden box. 

A soft knock sounds from the door and then a voice, "Hey, Pete, can we come in?" I recognize the voice as Rohdey's. 

I quickly wipe away the tears and push myself up so I am sitting on the bed. I grab my phone to make it seem like I was doing something, "Yup!" I muster out in the happiest voice I can. The door creeps open and Rohdey walks in followed by Sam. 

"Hey, Rohdey, Sam, what's up?" Good thing my room only dimly light. Hopefully, they can't see the tears stain on my cheeks. Sam sits down on one side of the bed and Rohdey on the other. 

Same glanced at Rohdey and he nodded back. I look between the two in confusion, "Are you ok, Peter? You haven't seemed like yourself lately?" Sam finally said. 

It seems as if Sam and Rohdey's eyes are staring right through me, and my stomach does flips. I know I can't lie to them, they will figure it out, but I do anyway, "Yeah I'm fine, just a little tired." 

The two men frown, and Sam leans back against the foot of the bed. "Peter, don't lie," is all Rohdey says. My lip starts to tremble but I do my best to cover it up. I glare down at the bed and try to stop the tears. 

"Hey, you can tell us bud," Sam says while setting a hand on my shin. 

I take in a shuttering breath and look down at my phone laying on the bed, "I-I... I'm fine." I say again, my voice cracking. 

"Peter, it's ok to not be ok once and awhile, we just want to help you. I know talking about this stuff might make you uncomfortable, but we just want to help you." Sam responds, his soothing voice echoing around the room. 

"I-I..." I play with my fingers and finally continue. Everything I've been thinking spills out from my mouth and I can't stop it. It just keeps coming out. 

It is only when I stop that I notice Same and Rohdey sitting on either side of my rubbing my back. "It's ok buddy, we aren't judging you. I help dozens of people like you with this kind of stuff every day, the strongest most intimidating people. I've talked to all of the Avengers and one point, even Natasha," Sam says running a hand through my hair. 

"I know it is hard right now but we can help you if you let us," Rohdey said hugging his nephew close. 

"Th-Thank you," I whisper. 

...

I hope you guys liked it :) sorry I haven't been updating a ton lately but life has been crazy!

Anyways thank you all so much for reading all of my books it means a lot!!

Love you all!

-EB

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